Feeling scared at work/Threats

[abbaking]

I have a co-worker of mine whom is convinced that I am spreading rumors about him. He used to be (up until last night) an aquaintance . I had his cell phone number and I sent him a friendly text asking how work was going. In a nutshell, He told me that he had heard from a third party that I was gossiping about him and another co-worker.

His text message to me included very foul four letter words and a threat. He said that If I didnt watch what I said around him there would be major problems.

I do not know how to take this. I am slightly scared to go to work because of this. Certainly, I will be letting my manager know of this situation - Just to "go on the record". I have spoken to some friends of mine about this. Basically the advise they gave to me is to avoid this individual, only talk with him when it is nessesary for work-related reasons, and filter whatever I say to him.

In all honesty, I feel like i need a new set of eyes in the back of my head.

Just need some opinions here.

[Turtle in scrubs]

Write a letter to him saying you are sorry for any confusion there is. If you were spreading rumors apologize for that. Tell him your intention is in no way to be harmful and that you will do everything in your power not to participate in whatever is going on. Let him know that you found his message to you to be scary. Give a copy of the letter to both him and your manger and then.... stop talking. Don't talk to him and especially don't talk with your friends at work about it. No matter what your intentions are the more you talk the more things will get messy and twisted around. Good luck... this sort of thing is never fun but if you don't fuel the fire it will die down.

ps... obviously if there are any concrete threats I would notify hospital security and the police.

[Mulan]

Have you been gossiping about him?

[sara_ky]

My advice would be to alert your manager, as well as consult or refer to your facility's employee handbook and/or code of conduct to see what additional or further action you can take, such as reporting your coworker to Human Resources. Whether your coworker meant his threat idly or not, it intimidated you. If the threat involved or implied bodily harm to you, in my place of employment, that would be grounds for immediate dismissal. A threat in general would result in written reprimand. I am willing to bet your employer has similar policies in place, if only to protect themselves against any legal liability. Good luck to you. It sounds like you feel very anxious now because of this situation, and I certainly empathize.

[shoegalRN, RN]

If you have been gossiping about him, STOP IT NOW!

And what exactly did the text message say that was so threatening to you? Did he threatened to "beat you up" or something along those lines?

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

I'd do what Turtle in Scrubs suggests. You can't let it go or you won't ever feel safe.

[leslie :-D]

something sounds 'off' about this.

why would you randomly text an acquaintance?

it sounds like you may have been consciously or unconsciously, antagonizing him, or fishing for a reaction/other feedback?

of course i can be 1000% wrong, but i'm sensing bad blood betw you 2.

that said, sure, give the heads up to your nm if it makes you feel safer.

she'll probably get the other nurse's side, and tell you 2 to both knock it off.:)

as for the "threat", he said "there'd be problems".

that can mean a million things, not necessarily dangerous.

hoping this can be nipped in the bud.

much luck to you both.

leslie

[netglow, ASN, RN]

I kind of got the impression that although this involves work people, the nature of it was personal info relationship-based? If so I would not involve my NM at all. I do really like Turtle's advice, a good thing to strive for but difficult!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

what type of threats? In what context? It's hard to know what I'd do if I experienced this without knowing specifics. What area of nursing are you in? I don't talk/text/go out with co-workers. I get along with all of them, but keep my personal and professional life seperate.

[caliotter3]

Expect your employer to blow you off. That is what they usually do. Write a formal letter and send it to the employer. This is to cover yourself in case this situation goes any further.

[abbaking]

I kind of got the impression that although this involves work people, the nature of it was personal info relationship-based? If so I would not involve my NM at all. I do really like Turtle's advice, a good thing to strive for but difficult!

EXACTLY. Somehow a rumor was made with my name attached to it. The rumor is of a sexual nature involving him and another female co-worker.

I have not been gossiping or spreading rumors about this individual.

This happened not while i was at work - i was at home. I don't know what phrase or word to use to describe a co-worker-sort-of-friend; both he and i had exchanged cell phone numbers and we would text occasionally.

As far as the threatening "feel" to the text message, I may have been reading into it to much -

Regardless, I do not think my manager NEEDS to know (not presently) - I think that i will avoid him, not engage in conversation directly or indirectly and keep my distance.

As far as apologizing to him in written form - that sounds like a good idea since now i am too hot headed to think clearly.

I will keep everyone posted

Pray for me

[gryffnsgram]

Maybe I'm missing something here but it doesn't sound as if abbaking did anything wrong. It sounds like her co-worker is paranoid either from mental illness or substance use/abuse. She should definitely stay out of this person's way and report this to her manager and if that goes nowhere, go to HR or up the chain. I hope you saved the text in case you need to get a protective order.