Feeling Humiliated and Discouraged

Nurses General Nursing

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The charge nurse on my unit will be leaving in a few months, and I think management was counting on me to take over as new charge nurse after that. Management just told me that I don’t have the leadership skills to be charge nurse and that I’m not ready for it, so when the old charge nurse leaves I have to find a new job. I am just feeling humiliated and discouraged by this. Has anyone else had this happen to them? 

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Yes I have. Don't feel too badly. You are still new and inexperienced I take it. Time will come. Don't get too discouraged.

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5 minutes ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

Yes I have. Don't feel too badly. You are still new and inexperienced I take it. Time will come. Don't get too discouraged.

Thank you! I’ve only been at this job for a little under a year. I’m just going to take the experience and use it for whatever is in store for me next.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Capacity/Bed Management.
3 hours ago, missnursingstudent19 said:

The charge nurse on my unit will be leaving in a few months, and I think management was counting on me to take over as new charge nurse after that. Management just told me that I don’t have the leadership skills to be charge nurse and that I’m not ready for it, so when the old charge nurse leaves I have to find a new job. I am just feeling humiliated and discouraged by this. Has anyone else had this happen to them? 

I understand that you are feeling dejected, and I hope that management used more tact than you described, when informing you that you are not a match for the charge/resource role at this time. With that being said, try not to let this deter you, focus on improving your clinical skills and sharpening your leadership/delegation skills.

In my ICU we will orient nurses to the charge role after 2-3 years of experience; and we will only place them in charge on shifts where there are more senior nurses to provide support and guidance if needed until they are comfortable. 

I wish you well in your nursing career!

 

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Specializes in school nurse.

I don't understand. If you're working there now, why would you have to leave when the current charge nurse goes?

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9 minutes ago, Jedrnurse said:

I don't understand. If you're working there now, why would you have to leave when the current charge nurse goes?

Honestly I think there’s some other reason they want me off the unit because it makes no sense to me either. Seems like they would just replace the charge nurse and then I’d just work with the new charge nurse. It’s a very strange situation. 

6 hours ago, Okami_CCRN said:

I understand that you are feeling dejected, and I hope that management used more tact than you described, when informing you that you are not a match for the charge/resource role at this time. With that being said, try not to let this deter you, focus on improving your clinical skills and sharpening your leadership/delegation skills.

In my ICU we will orient nurses to the charge role after 2-3 years of experience; and we will only place them in charge on shifts where there are more senior nurses to provide support and guidance if needed until they are comfortable. 

I wish you well in your nursing career!

 

Thank you! 

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On 2/10/2022 at 6:31 AM, missnursingstudent19 said:

Honestly I think there’s some other reason they want me off the unit because it makes no sense to me either. Seems like they would just replace the charge nurse and then I’d just work with the new charge nurse. It’s a very strange situation. 

Thank you! 

There could be several reasons that you are not going to replace the out going charge.  There is NO reason they should let you go. Do NOT continue to work for them. Start looking for a new job STAT. 

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 2/9/2022 at 7:51 PM, missnursingstudent19 said:

Has anyone else had this happen to them? 

In two positions as a NS, I was demoted at one after 1 1/2 years and terminated at another after one year. I commiserate with you, missnursingstudent, and know what a blow it can be to one's ego, for I was angry and upset after the first, but somehow relieved after the second.

If we work through our feelings of defeat, we can pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, shake the dust from them, and move on.

Easier said than done, I know. But it can be done and this situation you're going through can be beneficial to you and be one of the greatest lessons of learning in your career.

In my cases, I eventually found better jobs with more pay. Even after the second one, when I decided to give up on working as a nurse, when a really good nursing position found me. I stayed at that position for 17 years until retiring.

Here's hoping that your situation was meant to be, and this position was merely a steppingstone to a better one, missnursingstudent!

 

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Specializes in Dialysis.
On 2/10/2022 at 6:19 AM, Jedrnurse said:

I don't understand. If you're working there now, why would you have to leave when the current charge nurse goes?

My question as well ?

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Specializes in retired LTC.

Take this for what it's worth, but they DID give you the courtesy of an advance termination notice, rather than just shutting the door behind you. I know - little consolation!! It happened to me once - gave me the 'heads up' time to start looking ASAP. 

Asking - what kind of unit do you work???  For some places I know they won't retain double RNs or extra LPNs if they don't see the need because of low census or acuity.

Also, just thinking they may have another replacement in mind - you'd be extra baggage.

Bottom line - they don't want you. Look elsewhere. Don't feel humiliated or discouraged. You're worth more!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I was the charge nurse of a unit for a few years.  We got a new manager and I worked with her just fine for a few months and then decided to take another position.  I hated the new position, a desk job almost immediately,  and when I asked the manager could I have my old job back after a few months of them not filling the position, she said no,  saying I wasn't the type of leader she needed.  She needed someone that would hold the staff more accountable.  I found another job in the hospital and moved on.  

The nurse she hired from the outside quit in a few months and the manager was fired for incompetence.  10 years later I'm still there and a charge nurse.

It doesn't make sense that you have to leave just because you can't do charge, but it sounds like you will be better off finding another position.  Don't feel bad that you don't meet expectations to be in charge and aren't ready.  Being in charge is over rated.

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Specializes in Hospice.

I agree that being charge nurse is over rated!  I have done it a few times and did not care for it one bit. At the time, I think the pay was maybe fifty cents extra an hour. Fifty Cents!! Also, if a nurse called out sick, the charge nurse would usually need to take over all or most of that nurse's patient load if staffing couldn't find a replacement in time. As others have mentioned, it seems to be more of a self-confidence/sense of self issue for you.  

I would start interviewing for another position, and make sure to secure trusted references for that new job.  You will need the reference/person's name, phone, email address.  Do you think you want to continue in the same type of nursing, or explore other areas of nursing?

Can you ask for feedback from management in order to gain more insight going forward?  There was obviously a disconnect between your perceptions and that of Management.  I would be interested to know if they feel that it is personality issues, issues with getting along with co-workers, time management issues, or could it be some nursing/technical skills they think you could brush-up on?  

Best Wishes to You Going Forward in your Nursing Career

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