Feeling Defeated :(

Published

I struggled with major depression for the first 3 years of my academic journey (I attend a university that offers a 5-year BSN program). Some days I couldn't even bare the thought of getting out of bed because I wanted to just run into traffic and die. It was an awful experience. It took a year and a half of therapy for me to get back to normal and begin to live my life again. By that point my gpa was at a 2.74 and I almost lost my full tuition scholarship. I already had 120 credits and it was so hard for me to try to bring up my gpa. I had been in depression for so long that I hadn't given grad school a thought, and now that I have finally figured out what it is that I want to do with my life, it seems impossible.

For those who might say that I should've taken a leave of absence and not ruin my gpa, I live in the U.S. alone. My entire family lives in Puerto Rico and they do not help me financially or emotionally with anything. I needed to keep my scholarship, I couldn't just take a break. I had nowhere to live but on campus in a dorm paid by loans.

After a year and a half of hard work, my gpa was at a 3.07 and I was so proud. Can I really reach a 3.1 for graduation?! Unfortunately, I guess not. I worked my butt off and still came up short with only a 3.097 and I am so disappointed. I know that the difference isn't great but I thought at least a 3.1 looks better than the 3.09 when applying to grad schools. I was planning on taking 2 graduate level courses un-matriculated, to show that I can achieve greatness. But even so, now I feel that it won't matter because my gpa will still stand in the way of getting into a good NP program. I am heartbroken. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in a similar position?

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Specializes in Critical Care.

As someone that has family with depression, I can never understand fully the struggle, but I have some idea of how difficult everything is. My suggestion - work on getting the depression under control. You can and will make it through this. If being an NP is your dream, take classes and bring that GPA up. Work on other ways to boost your applications. You can do it!

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Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

I don't understand why you are "heartbroken"? Did you think your grades would magically be changed to As because you were down? Go into any nursing classroom and all kinds of students are experiencing challenges. I had almost no money when I went to nursing school. I was kicked out by my parents at 16. In nursing school I ate once a day and my apartment ceiling was collapsing. I worked my rear off and graduated with a 3.6. I never asked for ANYTHING from anyone. We get it..you were down, but the grades are the grades. You are where you are. Get up and get moving instead of wallowing in self pity. If you really plan to be an RN there will be no time for that. You received the grades you EARNED. So there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself. 3.0 and up is manageable anyway.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

I have a respectable 2.89 GPA.

WHEN I go back to obtain my graduate degree, I'll take a few post-vac courses and certs, kick ass on the GRE and WILL get in.

And this will be from the depression and anxiety from my PTSD.

If you want to, you will believe it and achieve it-it will be up to you.

Keep getting help for your depression, then continue on.

Best wishes.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-surg.

Did you graduate from nursing school? I'm so confused where you are in this BSN program.

If you did graduate with your BSN, congratulations! That is a huge accomplishment.

Right now, I think the most important thing for you is to talk to a counselor or someone about your anxiety and depression.

You need to get your mental illness under control.

Then, you need to focus on your living expenses and paying back your loans.

I know graduate school is important but with the loans and depression, don't you think you may be overloading yourself with too much

issues?

And, visit your family when you have a little money to retain your sanity. I know you are handling all of

this hard work and emotional stress of school on your own and that is not healthy! Everybody needs somebody to

talk to about their troubles and so do you. If that means getting a calling card to call your family to tell them of your struggles

in Puerto Rico then do it. A calling card is not expensive to buy!

Please take care of yourself first before moving onto other commitments. Your health, happiness and security is the most

important thing!

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My apologies, it seems that I didn't really make myself clear. I am graduating from the program in 2 weeks, so I already know what my final gpa is. That's why I was so upset. I needed a 90 on my final and got an 89.54 and they don't round the Hesi for us, so I came up short by less than 0.1 points.

As for the depression, I was able to get out of it after a year and a half of therapy. So I'm fine in terms of that! I don't need any help anymore, I've been good. I've just been trying to fix the mess that I made with my previous grades. I know that I am completely capable of excelling in a graduate program, my only problem would be actually getting into the program :(

And honestly, if you have nothing nice to say, please don't say it at all. We as nurses are supposed to be compassionate, supportive, and understanding. I am sure that you had to take a mental health nursing course at some point in your program. How am I any different from any of your patients who has severe depression? Is it okay for you to tell your patient to "suck it up"? I would hope that that's not the type of nurse that you are. Insensitive and judgmental. Everyone is different and handles their situation differently. I was an 18 year old in the U.S. by myself with little to no support, and I was going through a very rough time and did not know how to handle it. So please do not come here and tell me how I should or shouldn't feel or act based on your biased opinion.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Feeling down, self pity, feeling sorry for yourself.. Looks like you learned a lot about depression in psych class @windsurfer.

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Specializes in Hospitalist Medicine.

You're defeating yourself before you even find out if you're "excluded" from graduate school? :no:

It's not like you have the bare-minimum 2.5 GPA to pass nursing school. You made it through and kept it at a 3.09. And if your grades were worse than that before you started nursing school, then kudos to you. Nursing school is difficult & challenging. Instead of beating yourself up over your grades, look at what you've accomplished :D

Now, take a break from school. Concentrate on NCLEX, get a job as an RN and get some experience. Then start looking at graduate programs. You may have to go to a school that's not your first choice, but it's not impossible.

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Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU.

A little judgmental yourself telling ME what kind of nurse to be. And what's this "We as nurses stuff"? You aren't even a nurse yet.

Too many of those "Linda Carter, student nurse" comic books being read.

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Specializes in Family Practice, Mental Health.

Grad school usually requires a 3.0 or above for consideration.

Your GPA falls under that criteria.

There are, like, a Ton of NP schools out there.

Take your boards and get your RN. That will be a MUCH bigger barrier to NP school than a GPA that is a smidge over 3.0.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-surg.
A little judgmental yourself telling ME what kind of nurse to be. And what's this "We as nurses stuff"? You aren't even a nurse yet.

Too many of those "Linda Carter, student nurse" comic books being read.

Your attitude disgusts me. I don't need to be a nurse to say that.

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Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU.
Your attitude disgusts me. I don't need to be a nurse to say that.

Wow, you really ramped that one up but you are entitled to your own disgusting attitude.

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