Family calls to the unit.

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My husband is in the ICU due to complications from surgery he had recently. While he has been incapacitated, his son from another marriage (who happens to be my age) has kind of taken over decision making and finances my husband was doing so I don't have to worry so much about being out from work. Anyway, I can't take the baby on the unit so there really isn't any point in me being at the hospital.

So, this afternoon I called and asked to talk to my husband's nurse. Then, this annoyed sounding nurse answered and when I said I wanted to see how my husband was doing she said he was doing the same as when his son called the last time.

Okay..

Then she said, "is he a nurse or something? Because he was asking all these detailed questions...and if there is anything you need to know you can call and ask him. He's been calling all day."

Yes, his son happens to be an RN and a very good one. And like Pops, he has a very inquisitive and maybe too much of an enquiring mind. And I guess the alpha male deal can make him a little tiring to deal with, anyway

we decided he will handle the phone calls to the hospital and keep me posted to keep the nurses from being bombarded.

This question is for all nurses and especially ICU nurses: how many times a day is too much to call? Do you generally find it annoying when the family wants to know details? Would you rather not get phone calls at all?

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

I just don't give out much information anymore. I just politely state the privacy laws that we as nurses have to follow. In my ICU its not so bad, the family spokesperson has a code that we ask for when they call. If they don't have it, I just tell them the patient's status in a general way and thats all the info I can give over the phone.

The other day I got cussed out by my patient's brother because I wouldn't give out info about the patient other than the patient was stable. I told him he would have to call the patient's stepdaughter who was the spokesperson and he says "She's his ex-stepdaughter..blah blah blah"....I said "well, he did sign a form prior to surgery making her his spokesperson"...He says " (insert a lot of cuss words) and I'm calling my attorney"...I said "sir, do what you like but this is the end of the conversation" I don't tolerate getting cussed at by anyone.

At my other job where I had 3-4 patients, I give the whole privacy laws speech everytime family called, just explained that how am I suppose to know who you say you are and I can get in trouble if I give the wrong info to the wrong person..sort of thing..

Things I never give out over the phone to family even if they are or say they are RNs is lab results, radiology results..etc. If they want to know they need to come in. I absolutely don't give that info over the phone. I wouldn't put my license on the line.

Sorry for my rant. I'm sorry the nurse you spoke with was a bit nasty. She was rude. I hope your husband gets well.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i remember when my brother was in the icu we were asked to keep the phone calling limited to one person, who would act as the info center for the rest of the family, but we were told "call anytime." i don't think it's the number of calls that bother nurses, but the number of callers.

whether it's number of calls or number of callers, each time i get a call, i have to leave the bedside, strip off the isolation gear, wash up, and step out to the hallway to take the call. while i'm in the hallway, i cannot see my patient or the monitors, nor can i tell if the various ventilator and imed alarms are coming from my patient or the one next door. after more than two or three calls, it begins to get annoying and interferes with care. if that is the issue, the nurse should have explained it to you. some icus have phones in the patient rooms, and it's not as much of an issue.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
whether it's number of calls or number of callers, each time i get a call, i have to leave the bedside, strip off the isolation gear, wash up, and step out to the hallway to take the call. while i'm in the hallway, i cannot see my patient or the monitors, nor can i tell if the various ventilator and imed alarms are coming from my patient or the one next door. after more than two or three calls, it begins to get annoying and interferes with care. if that is the issue, the nurse should have explained it to you. some icus have phones in the patient rooms, and it's not as much of an issue.

i totally agree.

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Call once and leave a number where I can reach you, ask that I return your call, that you want an update on the patient.

There is no way to predict when it is a good for you to call me. So just leave a messagege for me to call you with an update. When you get me on the phone request that I call you when I have more information. If I don't call a second time then there is nothing to call about.

If you request that I call you back then you can be reasonably sure I have had time to check on all the details of your loved one's care and treatment so we can have a productive conversation.

Oh yes and designate ONE person to call for information. Family members should be able to talk with one another and pass on information. If you can not rely on that person do do so effectively then maybe you need to be the designated person.

One call a shift. Two Maximum. period. Otherwise I am spending time with you instead of the patients. Since it is not about you but about the patient lets keep the nurse at the bedside instead of chatting on the phone.

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Is the son the hcpoa-if not -is the hcpoa law being violated.:confused:

No, my husband doesn't have a POA. The son and me are the ones who have the code. I haven't called again, but the closest I came was late last night when the house got quiet and I saw his jacket hanging on the back of the kitchen chair and started to feel all vulnerable and lonely for the old goon.

Even if he's a goon he's my goon. At least he's doing better now. I saw him one time in the ICU and he had to be restrained because he was trying to pull out his tubes. It was disturbing to see him, his eyes and lips were swollen, as were his hands and feet. He had the ventilator tube and everything.

It hurts you to see them like that.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept.

The suggestion of calling and leaving your number for the nurse to call back is a WONDERFUL one. I am much more apt to give you thorough, accurate information if I have had time to see the patient and am somewhat caught up on my work to care for these patients.

The one family that irritated me (putting it nicely) - I had one of those messages to call a family member when I picked up my paperwork for my shift one night (so had no report or had even seen the patient yet, but I had had the patient the previous two nights - spoke with this family member right before I went home the previous shift though, so I knew nothing else to tell them.) Well, I got report, went in to check on another patient who had called out for some pain medication. As I stepped out of his room, my wonderful aide (I say with very much appreciation) yells into the hall that she needs my assistance. I go in the room and this pt (the one that the family has called about) - is OUT. Unresponsive to pain, barely breathing, etc. I call for help, rapid response, etc - crash cart in the room. Over the next 30min-hour as we are busting our butts trying to save this pt the family calls 3 more times. I completely understand them wanting to know what was going on - but I can not leave my critical patient to talk to the family. I was on the phone with docs, pushing meds, etc. After the 4th phone call of 'I will call them back as soon as I can' I told the secretary to just tell them that if they didn't want to wait until I could call them, they were welcome to come to the hospital because we were transferring her to the ICU. Well, they came, and were so ****** off that we had to call security. :banghead: I guess the point of this whole story is - I will gladly talk to family members, but my patient's are my priority.

Also - when we do our initial admission paperwork we have a place where the patient tells us who is allowed information. Those are the only people we release information to. (Granted someone could always lie, because we are not going to know who is who on the phone, but it is what we have to work with)

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Specializes in SICU/MICU/NeuroICU, life flight.

There are too many variables to say. How many patents I have, how many calls per patient and all the other things that might be going on. When it gets to be too much, I just tell them I don't have time to talk to them about it, but I did speak to so ands so earlier, perhaps they could touch base with them. then I ask whoever seems "in charge" of the family to designate one caller. It usually works.

What bugs me are visitors. JimminyCristmas, when did it become OK to have a ******* party in the CCU at all hours of the night? They ring the dam doorbell every ten minutes with their contant in and out, make a ton of noise, lounge all over the place and make me climb over them to get to the patient. THOSE are the people I find annoying, not the concerned worried people on the phone. sorry, end rant.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

We only allow 1 family spokesperson in our ICU. Family came to the desk and asked if all four daughters could be the spokesperson. Asked why, they said because their mother got out of surgery and only one person was called...the one who happened to be the spokesperson. Kindly explained that it was not our fault that only one person was called, we only call the person who is the spokesperson, its the spokesperson's job to relay the message that dear mom got out of surgery. Yeah, they weren't pleased but too bad so sad.

I don't have time nor do the docs have time to call FOUR people for one patient.

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I go in the room and this pt (the one that the family has called about) - is OUT. Unresponsive to pain, barely breathing, etc. I call for help, rapid response, etc - crash cart in the room. Over the next 30min-hour as we are busting our butts trying to save this pt the family calls 3 more times. I completely understand them wanting to know what was going on - but I can not leave my critical patient to talk to the family. I was on the phone with docs, pushing meds, etc.

but my patient's are my priority.

Yes this was my exact experience 2 weeks ago.

We know this is VERY VERY difficult for you. (((((HUG))))) the OP.

We want the best for your Honey. Let us provide it. I really appreciate it when I am able to call an talk to a family member when I have updated myself on the patient. When I acutaly have something useful/ helpful to tell them.

Your desire to call is understandable. Keep in mind just wanting to hear his voice or in this case to hear he is O.K. will not change anything for him or you. Keep in touch and understand if you leave a message to call you back that no news is more than likely good news.

I will call you as will other nurses if there is something wrong if you leave a message to call you.

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Specializes in Nurse Scientist-Research.

I love our system we use in the NICU; two people get bands; one is mom, mom has to sign a consent form to allow anyone else to get information on her child; exceptions being the actual husband as he is legally assumed to be the father; "baby daddies" have to be put on the consent form.

Still; it's not unusual to get 2-3 or more calls from the parents in a 12 hr shift. Usually just one call though. It's very normal to get a call from each parent if they don't live together. It only annoys me when I get a call from each parent about 15-20 minutes apart and I know they are in the same house, just in different rooms each on their own cell phone and for whatever reason, want to talk to the nurse themselves.

But having said that; I cannot believe that some nurse made you; the patient's WIFE, feel bad about calling for an update, no matter how many times his son had called. You're his wife!

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

The caller always seems to ask "How's s/he doing?". Well, they're in the hospital, so I can't honestly say they're doing fine, right?

I do not give any info other than the basic "He's stable, he had dinner, now he's resting" etc type of info over the phone. I let the caller know that it is against the law for me to give specific medical info over the phone.

I had a caller the other night, who identified herself as the grand daughter of a patient that wasn't officially on palliative care, but it was going in that direction. She kept asking me if she should come see him that night, as she lived two hours away. I kept telling her that he was stable at the moment, and that was all I could tell her, and that if she needed more information, she should call the patient's daughter. She wasn't happy with that answer, but it is not my role to be telling someone over the phone, whose identity I cannot verify, when I think the patient is going to die, which was basically the information she was looking for.

I had another one the other night where the step daughter called and wanted to know if the doctor was prescribing anything for the elderly patient's spine, like a Vitamin D supplement. Again, I gave the speech about not being allowed to give information over the phone. But she just kept on it, and finally all I could do was tell her that I would leave a note for the doctor to call her. They then called me while I was on my dinner break because the patient was not answering the phone in his room, and they wanted me to go find out if the ringer was turned off. Even though my words were polite, and I really tried not to let my irritation show, I'm sure I must have sounded irritated, and I was really sorry for that. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for the ICU nurse you spoke with, she really shouldn't have been rude, but maybe it was just a bad moment for her.

Can you get a sitter so you can go see him?

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Infusion, peds, informatics.

at my hospital, we arn't allowed to give out anything more than a one-word condition report -- good, serious, guarded, fair, critical.

[color=#483d8b]if callers would accept that, i wouldn't mind most calls. however, most callers don't accept that, making most calls very frustrating, as they try to pry more information out of me than i'm allowed to give.

[color=#483d8b]they get irritated, i get irritated.....multiply that by several calls during the shift....

[color=#483d8b]from working at other hospitals, i can tell you that long calls, with lots of questions, are also tough. there just isn't enough time for that. when visitors come, i can update them and answer questions in the room while doing some care, givng some meds. when i talk to them on the phone, i'm tied to the desk.

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