Family calls to the unit.

[Jo Dirt]

My husband is in the ICU due to complications from surgery he had recently. While he has been incapacitated, his son from another marriage (who happens to be my age) has kind of taken over decision making and finances my husband was doing so I don't have to worry so much about being out from work. Anyway, I can't take the baby on the unit so there really isn't any point in me being at the hospital.

So, this afternoon I called and asked to talk to my husband's nurse. Then, this annoyed sounding nurse answered and when I said I wanted to see how my husband was doing she said he was doing the same as when his son called the last time.

Okay..

Then she said, "is he a nurse or something? Because he was asking all these detailed questions...and if there is anything you need to know you can call and ask him. He's been calling all day."

Yes, his son happens to be an RN and a very good one. And like Pops, he has a very inquisitive and maybe too much of an enquiring mind. And I guess the alpha male deal can make him a little tiring to deal with, anyway

we decided he will handle the phone calls to the hospital and keep me posted to keep the nurses from being bombarded.

This question is for all nurses and especially ICU nurses: how many times a day is too much to call? Do you generally find it annoying when the family wants to know details? Would you rather not get phone calls at all?

[TazziRN, RN]

I remember when my brother was in the ICU we were asked to keep the phone calling limited to one person, who would act as the info center for the rest of the family, but we were told "Call anytime." I don't think it's the number of calls that bother nurses, but the number of callers.

[elizabells, BSN, RN]

I hope I can articulate this properly and don't end up hurting anyone's feelings or getting flamed, but...

Yes, sometimes it is annoying when families call a million times a day and ask detailed questions. So what? If you or your stepson are concerned about your husband, call the unit. It's still part of our job to patiently and compassionately answer them, even if we're irritated. I suppose if it's really getting to the point that it's interfering with our care, some limits need to be set, but that hasn't happened to me yet. I think the nurse you spoke to was rude and unprofessional. I never assume that parents of my patients are physically in the same place if one calls soon after another, unless I have reason to know that they are. She had no reason to think that you and your stepson were in constant communication about your husband's status. Anyhow, if she was going to get snotty with anyone, it shouldn't be you! Holy misdirected anger, Batman.

I should add that we don't usually have the problem of multiple callers, as we make it very clear early on that parents are the only ones we'll give info to. Sometimes the grandparents don't get it and keep calling, but it's a very short call when they do.

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

I have asked one family in particular to choose one person to call and check status. I had the patient three days, and the first day I got at least one, sometimes more, calls and hour from numerous family members (at least 10-12 different family members). I was forever explaining to cousin Vern why I couldn't release info. It was bad enough, that I was having trouble caring for my other 6 patients due to frequent calls. So the second day, I told them to choose one, and I instructed the sec. to only transfer that family member to my phone.

Any other situation, I try to take time to talk to family, if they are allowed info. But I do appreciate it when they limit it to a couple of call a day at most. And if the patient is able to talk, they talk to the family, not me.

[Zookeeper3]

We use a pin # system, given to the next of kin. if that person gives the number out, than I can legally give any amt. of info to anyone having the #.

That being said, there are many families who have too many people calling too much. Too much is the point where repeated phone calls are preventing me from providing care to my patients. It varries. BUT, I either ask the person to call back or I return the call. Courtsy.

If your step son had this many questions, it seems as if a meeting with the doctor, not the nurse was needed. The doc can spend time explaining complications, current treatment, LOS.. and what not-while I do the all important hands on care. That nurse being snarky was NOT ok, no matter how many calls.

A simple suggestion to have one primary contact who called at predetermined times fixes that immediately. Sorry to hear about everything. You need to focus on you and the family... not about the nurses feelings in this case.:heartbeat Wishing husband well

[getoverit, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

Occasionally it gets on my nerves when a family calls over and over again, but I keep in mind that it's their loved one who is in critical condition and their concern for him/her is beyond ours.

It's nice when one person calls and disseminates info to the rest of the family, but when everyone calls all day long....then that's just the way it worked out-no big deal and I'm not going to add to their stress by coming off annoyed or short with them.

One thing I do is set boundaries, like answering the call with "Hi Mrs. ____, nice to talk to you again. this is what's new since we last spoke. I'm not trying to be rude but I am very busy. If you'd like more infomation, you can either sit down and talk to me when you visit your husband or call back at a more convenient time, like _____" Of course I give them time to speak and voice their feelings, but I don't let them monopolize my time (often with the same questions that have already been answered). I also think that if my family member was hurt/sick/etc and I wasn't familiar with healthcare, then I'd appreciate every little gesture toward alleviating my stress.

[Liddle Noodnik]

My husband is in the ICU due to complications from surgery he had recently.

((((((((((((((( Motorcycle Mama )))))))) Wow, didn't know he had to go to ICU! Are you ok?

It seems to me it would be ok for you to call anytime - and for him to visit (and ask) anytime. I know they don't want 20,000 people calling but two seems reasonable. He's your HUSBAND.

Take care hon!

[estherojin]

I work in the ICU and I concur with the previous posts. I really don't mind updating immediate family members, but there is a limit to the number of callers and the calls. ICU patients are in the ICU for a reason, they need close monitoring and a lot of nursing care. It seems like everytime I'm in the middle of something critical, i get a call. Most family members understand, but there are the few that can get irate for having to be put on hold.

I am a strong advocate for designated family rep, it saves the time of explaining the same thing over and over and also if there is a status change, the communication process is less complicated. One thing I've noticed is there have been incidences where extended family members and friends of the patient called for updates and when denied information called back saying they were immediate family members. It's a huge privacy risk. Though it might seem curt, I strictly restrict giving out information to anyone but the primary contact listed on our kardex and refer the caller to the primary contact for updates.

Lately, i've also been telling family members not to call during change of shift plus the first hour after the shift change to allow for enough time for pt assessment without interruption. There's nothing I hate more than being asked questions about a patient that i haven't even seen.

[Zookeeper3]

We use a pin # system, given to the next of kin. if that person gives the number out, than I can legally give any amt. of info to anyone having the #.

That being said, there are many families who have too many people calling too much. Too much is the point where repeated phone calls are preventing me from providing care to my patients. It varries. BUT, I either ask the person to call back or I return the call. If there are too many calls, A simple suggestion to have one primary contact who calls at predetermined times fixes this.

If your step son had this many questions, it seems as if a meeting with the doctor, not the nurse was needed. The doc can spend time explaining complications, current treatment, LOS.. and what not-while I do the all hands on care. That nurse being snarky was NOT ok, no matter how many calls.

Sorry to hear about everything. You need to focus on you and the family... not about the nurses feelings in this case.:heartbeat Wishing husband well

[chewyd]

I had a friend of a pt call me the other night.She was not the hcpoa-and she knew I could not tell her much.But she asked how the pt was doing ,if she was going to be transferred and then said 'I know who her Doctor is-is she being well taken care of ".Now -what was I supposed to say.:banghead:

Now I know this type of call is unusual but as we all know -with the hcpoa law -you can't tell anyone who is not the hcpoa -anything.

I will always talk to the family members and tell them what I can but try having 4-5 pts with 2-4 family members calling at least once a shift-

We have tried having the family designate 1 person to do all the calling but without success.

But i work a med-surg unit not an icu.

[chewyd]

Is the son the hcpoa-if not -is the hcpoa law being violated.

[AlabamaBelle]

I totally agree with elizabells. From the outset, we tell our families that info is only given to the parents (or guardians). Sometimes a list is left to give info to others. Whatever the situation, I don't feel imposed upon/aggravated with immediate family member calling (except maybe when I get those 30 seconds to go the bathroom and they call me in there).

I've had to leave a child in an ICU and I have called frequently to check on her -especially since that facility's family centered care went down the tubes and we were "kicked out". I didn't know the staff, etc. Luckily, they were fairly understanding.

Do what you need to do for your peace of mind.

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