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Fallouts During Nursing School

KMGS17 KMGS17 (New) New Student

Before I started nursing school I made acquaintance of a fellow student who was also looking to apply to the program at the same time. We quickly bonded over that and some other things in life. We applied for nursing school and we started our nursing journey in Fall 2017. Nursing school is rough and to have a friend to study with, grieve, and celebrate seemed like a God send. It was great until Fall of 2018. Our friendship became rough because of some differences. Well that is normal any in relationship. We faced and handled it like adults. This spring semester absolutely tore us apart. We were so close and now its done. We barely speak to each other. It is now finals week and I feel alone in my nursing program. I use to always have a study partner & friend, but now I no longer do.

Has anyone else gone through this?

ThatChickOmi specializes in Med/Surg.

I know this sounds kind of callous...but you have to move on, maybe make new friends/study partners. Just keep your eye on the end goal, and that is passing school and getting your license. After this program is over you'll likely never see this person again so it won't matter. I've had this happen to me many times in life, people come and go. You just gotta deal and let burning bridges burn. You can still remain cordial.

Edited by ThatChickOmi

GSDlvrRN specializes in Telemetry.

I went through all pre requisites, did partner projects and such, celebrated getting into nursins school, had drinks and vented to each other throughout nursing school, and celebrated finals and such with one friend in particular. Things fell apart towards the end of nursing school and we had a pretty ugly falling out. Our whole class knew about it. I was very hurt. I thought we would get hired together and work together. We had planned to enroll in BSN programs together too and continue studying together. I learned to just focus on me and my career. I am self accountable, I stand behind my patients alone, I am also self sufficient, I'm a bad b**** because I went through an online BSN program on my own. I lived alone and I became self directed. It still really hurts to think about, but things fell apart when they were supposed to, and I appreciate the process i went through to get to where I am now without her.

I met a good friend in my first semester and we ended up taking all of our prerequisites together. Studied together, complained together, competed together and kept each other striving for excellence. Though we'd like to attend nursing school together, my friend has gotten into her dream program ; one which i did not apply to. I am happy for her, but it is bittersweet. What am i going to do? Look forward to making new friends next semester.

If you remain positive and push yourself, like-minded individuals will soon join.

Life is like this, not just nursing school. In my previous career, I made work my life. I thought I had made good friends and we really had each other's backs. My career was in child welfare, which I compare to being in a war zone. Everything is very stressful and insular. You think that your world revolves around the job. But once you are on the other side, you see that is just not true. Most of my "friendships" fell by the wayside. I learned to compartmentalize my work and my life. They are not the same. I imagine nursing school will feel much the same.

Very, very few friendships are for life. They just aren't. It hurts when they end, but as you get older, it seems to hurt less and less.

You realize that most friendships are the convenience type. More commonly, they fizzle out.

Maybe after you go through divorce or the death of your parents, the death of a friendship, by comparison, is not that big of a deal.

Not long ago, I ran into a woman I went to nursing school with, 30 years ago. We were close at the time. After graduation she moved away and we lost contact. This was before the Internet.

She recently came back in town. I gave her my number and she didn't call. Not a big surprise.

Another woman ghosted me last year. I let it bother me for about 10 minutes.

That is my philosophy

Apple-Core has 1 years experience as a ASN, BSN, RN.

I think this is a life experience, not just a nursing school experience. It's not pleasant, I agree, but it's just a fact of life.

In the meantime, I suggest you refocus on your studies because the last thing you want to do is look back and know you didn't give it your all because of someone you haven't seen for years...!

umbdude specializes in Psych/Mental Health.

6 hours ago, Oldmahubbard said:

Very, very few friendships are for life. They just aren't. It hurts when they end, but as you get older, it seems to hurt less and less. 

You realize that most friendships are the convenience type. More commonly, they fizzle out.

This is so true....😞

Sometimes when I hear about these kinds of relationships, they seem to me to be a little too intense, almost like a love affair, of course without the romantic element. When they fall apart, I wonder if maybe one of the parties has gotten uncomfortable with that and just needs relationships with more space.

Making good friends is a positive thing, but I'm a little wary of relationships where the parties "do everything" together and show blurred boundaries. I'm not necessarily saying that is the kind of friendship the OP had, but I would still caution against expectations of that kind of friendship in nursing school. Nursing school peers often scatter to the wind after graduation, so don't count on lifelong connections with your classmates. You'll likely just be disappointed.

I would instead look to find relationships with people who have already established roots in your community, who are invested in staying put and connecting with others of the same mind. Take things slow, don't become emotionally dependent upon others (learn to love hanging out with just yourself), establish connections with enough people that you don't find yourself depending on one person for entertainment and companionship. Meet people who actually have more in common with you than a course of study. Those would be people who share your religious faith or some hobby you are passionate about, people who have similar values, etc.

Don't know if that helps at all, but that's my .02.


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