Failed my first semester of fundamentals/med surg (advice?)

9livesRN, BSN, RN · Dec 19, 2009

follow your heart!

your parents should not decide your career.

you need to choose what you like, because you will spend the most part of your whole life in your profession!!!

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 19, 2009

If you're not happy with nursing now, you're probably NOT going to grow to like it later, especially if you are struggling with the courses NS only gets harder once you get past fundamentals.

Have a serious heart-to-heart with them about how you feel...do it before you spend any more time in a major you don't want to be in, and before you fail again and thus really shoot your GPA and academic career in the foot.

Good luck.

K nurse-one-day · Dec 19, 2009

I think you should really have a serious talk with your parents. Nursing is a calling and it is something you really have to want and put your heart into. If you dont like it now, I doubt you ever will. You are a grown person, and you should be allowed to decide your own career. You don't want to look back 30 years from now and have regrets.

Ava M. · Dec 19, 2009

Thank you all so much! I've tried talking to them several times but they won't listen. I asked again but they said that they can't afford to have me transfer and that times are tough and being in the medical field will earn me a stable job. Plus they are both nurses as well. Sighssss...

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Dec 19, 2009

Are they paying for your college? Are you living with them and they will kick you out if you change careers? It isn't about them, it's about you and what you are wanting, you're not 5, don't let them have so much control over your life.

morningland · Dec 19, 2009

Your parents are being pretty childish in their ideas. Granted they are trying to "look out for you" it is really only in a way that they see fit... they are only concerned about you making a living not being happy while you are making a living. Do not.... I repeat, DO NOT get into nursing if it is not what you are called into and especially if you do not even want to do it.

For one thing, it is not 100% truth that nursing is a stable job... that whole idea that "people are always going to need nurses" is not always true and you should not even be getting into nursing if you are only thinking about the financial benefits (in my honest opinion). Because, you are right, peoples live's will be in your hands and that is not a responsability you want if it is not right for you.

How old are you? If you are over 25, you may not need your parents "support" because you might be able to get all the financial aid you need. If culanary arts is your passion, follow that not nursing. It's funny, I used to want to be a chef then realized I hated it and got into nursing which was my real passion.

Your parents are looking out for your well-being but they are only doing it from a perspective of what they think is important... thats not how reality works. Yes, you need a stable living but you more so need to be happy while you are doing it. Follow your passions, not you financial future.

Think really long and hard about this... I don't want to tell you burn any bridges... maybe take what you can get but you may even have to tell you parents "thanks but no thanks" if they are going to dictate your life. That is selfish of them and you just may need to stand up against it.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 19, 2009

Thank you all so much! I've tried talking to them several times but they won't listen. I asked again but they said that they can't afford to have me transfer and that times are tough and being in the medical field will earn me a stable job. Plus they are both nurses as well. Sighssss...

I would hope that they're planning to get you that first job as well, because as you may have seen from all the posts by new grads, the job market for new nurses right now is frightening. Very few places want new grads, and those that do are flooded with applicants for a handful of spots. A lot of nurses are more than a year out of school and still haven't gotten that first job. Nor are nursing jobs stable: many facilities are scaling back on hiring new staff, making current staff take on greater workloads with little to no increase in pay. Nor is a job guaranteed for life once you get it: our facility just laid off some nurses due to budget issues...and it wasn't just the newbie nurses that got chopped. Have your parents visit AN and let them see what the new graduates are going through before they decide to keep forcing you there.

And not to sound harsh...you may also need to accept the reality that if you want to do something other than nursing, you may have to be the one that foots the bill for it. If they're not going to pay for you to do culinary arts, you will have to find a way to financially make that happen if cooking is what you truly want to do.

AOx1 · Dec 19, 2009

Honestly, I would look for a college that has a great hotel and restaurant curriculum, one where you can explore your love of culinary arts. Even if this means you need to take out loans!

You could also consider looking into a community college's courses. Another good option would be to start working in this industry locally, to network. If you show how interested you are in this field, belive me, someone will notice and you could possibly find a mentor.

This is a difficult route if you have to do it on your own, but I would rather do that for a few years than work the rest of my life in a profession that I hate. I worked and paid my way through school, although I was able to get a scholarship for tuition and books. You can do it!

hiddencatRN, BSN, RN · Dec 19, 2009

I know this is easier said than done, but it sounds like you need to stop accepting their money and find a way to work yourself through what it is you want to do. Sure, parental support is great, but theirs comes with some pretty binding strings attached.

Transferring itself doesn't cost any money-you just start paying the new tuition. If it takes longer, you do pay additional tuition, but you're looking at that anyway because of the class you have to retake. If they wanted, they could pay what they're paying now at a new school, with you taking out loans to cover the balance. So it's not really that they *can't* afford offer you any support in your career choice- they just don't want to.

People struggle with nursing school and get through because they know it will be worth it in the end. It's not going to be worth it to you, so you're wasting your time, and time is precious. Withdraw from school, look in to culinary arts schools and options for paying tuition. You sound young and I remember how the thought of paying for school on my own terrified me when I ended up needing to stay in school past what my parents could offer me. But you can make it work.

Justanotherday · Dec 19, 2009

Have you ever heard the expression, "If you have a job you love you'll never work a day in your life"?

I have five children, and I don't want any of them to be miserable in life because of choices I've made for them. How could I be happy seeing my child so unsatisfied? Your parents may have a hard time accepting your career decisions, but I believe they would come around once they saw with their own eyes your passion and commitment to your education and chosen line of work. If they cut you off financially, pay for it yourself, get financial aid, scholarships, whatever it takes to follow *your* dreams.

ally21 · Dec 19, 2009

Chin up, girl! You gave it your best shot for someone who wasn't interested in the program to begin with. You didn't disappoint anyone probably and they're still proud of you.

One suggestion is like the others have said, get out of nursing and go into a field you actually enjoy. Don't do things because your family told you to. If you do that you'll never enjoy life to its fullest.