Experiencing racism and xenophobia when coming to CA to help with Covid
I’m a psych travel nurse who had a horrendous experience at Metropolis State Hospital in Norwalk, CA as I attempted to come help with Covid, putting my life at risk.
As a travel nurse, I expect to experience whatever is thrown at me. What I experienced at Metropolitan State Hospital was beyond my expectations. It was an unbelievable encounter with rudeness, hate, racism, and xenophobia.
On the first day at the facility, the staff was extremely rude to all of us who picked up to come work and help with COVID. All my travel colleagues would agree and could speak to the disrespect given to us. I thought this may not be a place for me to work and almost quit. Wanting to stay in SoCal I continued the contract.
The extreme hate began on the inpatient unit. A psych tech and I were having a talk about life. I mentioned my “gay culture” to him and he replied, “what is gay culture.” In an aggressive manner. I saw his body language change, eye contact decrease and his fists even ball up. When I explained gay culture is my lifestyle he harshly stated, “That doesn’t exist. All gay people should come to Nigeria and be killed.” I replied stating that would never happen to me and I would protect myself in any way I needed. But I was fearful and shocked that someone could say that. I never reported this but spoke to a friend about what I could do to protect gay patients in hospitals, especially a state-run facility.
The next situation happened more recently causing me to resign. The snowball effect of hate forced me to never return. A person who came over risking my own health to care for COVID patients had to run far away. I also signed a lease in Long Beach so could not even return home after such a horrific experience.
So it started on another unit where I was talking shop with this shift lead on unit 409. We were talking shop and election results. The shift lead name Dia stated, “ I support Donald Trump because he is crazy like our patients so we should take care of him like we do our patients.” Her using the word crazy to describe a person with mental illness was alarming in itself. When you hear what happened next, that doesn’t even compare. I am someone who is asked every day, “Are you Arabic or Muslim? Are you from the Middle East?”, she intensely and rudely stated to me, “All Muslims should go back to where they came from!”
I was beside myself and had to leave the office and go to another unit. I absolutely told her she was xenophobic and doesn’t take care of “crazy” people because she hasn’t moved from the desk. I reported it to the manager right away and said I can not work there. They moved me to another unit. I am unsure if any action was taken, but I highly doubt it. The manager did not take any of my information. I quit and no one from the facility had reached out to me (5 days after I am writing this).
I believe some form of justice should be served. Staff has said this is the culture of Metro and they are not surprised. Taxpayer money of gay and Muslim civilians alike find this facility and pay the salary of those who hate them and verbally express it freely. I fear for the patients who fit the criteria of what some of these staff members see less than and believe should be dead or deported.
Please respond with helpful advice? How should I move forward to get justice?
Does that have to be the only barometer? I feel like this topic needs another thread of its own because we can go on and on about years of LGBTQ people being denied the same rights and privileges as those who do not identify as such.
It’s not the only barometer, but it is an indicator of the gravity of racial inequality and brutality in contrast to LGBTQ matters. The seriousness cannot be detracted by drawing unreasonable parallels. I heard Ellen DeGenerous once claim that her oppression mirrors or is tantamount to racial injustice. I think such unfortunate, unthinking, and premature comparisons are quite foolish, if not dangerous.
Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
1 hour ago, cynical-RN said:
However, sashaying around the unit expressing the flamboyance of your lifestyle is not prudent, especially if one expects others to agree with said lifestyle 100%.
Everything about this statement makes me cringe as a member of the LGBTQ community. The use of words such as sashaying and flamboyance were very intentional, would likely never be used to describe any heterosexual coworker talking about their partner or orientation, and is an example of the passive aggressive/subconscious dealings many of us encounter on a regular basis.
Everything about this statement makes me cringe as a member of the LGBTQ community. The use of words such as sashaying and flamboyance were very intentional, would likely never be used to describe any heterosexual coworker talking about their partner or orientation, and is an example of the passive aggressive/subconscious dealings many of us encounter on a regular basis.
I was giving an example of how a select few might act that can be considered unprofessional. Of course it was intentional. I did not say that all homosexuals do that in the professional setting.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Here’s what I have to say on the matter. I was raised in a conservative Catholic (dare I say bigoted) household. You could not convince my father who was an pretty decent guy over-all that “Those people” (LGBTQ) were not responsible for all manner of perversions. But people grow and change with the times and we can never change what a person thinks or how they came to that thought process opps lunch time is over will pick up this thought later. I like to think that I have done better in raising my own son but the truth is people fear what they don't understand and and hate what they fear. Recent dinner table conversation went something like this. Man cub(18) myself and hubby having a dinner conversation and it got kind of spirited, My husband made a rather nean spirited coment about members of the LGBTQ community. My son AKA man cub said back "actually dad most "Gay" people are pretty cool and have a better understanding of who they are than many straight people." My husband is looking speculatively at my son with a sort of lightbulb going off over his head and he asks the man cub "Are you gay? " my son calmly said back No, but would it matter if I was?"
The OP experienced something no one LGBTQ or straight should have too experience. We on the outside will never know the actual context of those situation/conversations but it does seem as if OP is hell bent on fanning the flames. In the end we should all be treating each other as we woudl want to be treated. As a person in recovery I have face a lot of discrimination and have to put up with all kinds of remarks abot addicts, junkies etc...I always try to chock that up to the ingnorance of those flapping their gums.
By the way - can we stop saying Gay/LGBTQ lifestyle as if it a ne sofa in the living room. It is not a life style it's an orientation. I might add an orientation that until quite recently was listed in the DSM as a mental disorder. We have come such a long way from where we were, and we have a lot farther to go. But as I said You gonna lead that horse to water,force it to drink and end up covered in water and horse snot! This is an unwinnable argument. I wish the mods would consider shutting this down for review. For the OP I might suggest you use a tactic another forum I belong to uses. If a topic is a vent and ypu don't really care what other people say or think then start your post off that way!
I am starting to ramble so it's time for me to leave this to my own higher power!
This post saddens me in so many ways but the biggest is the keep your head down mentality. Racism, Sexism and xenophobia need to be rooted out especially for the needs of our patients. I wouldn't want my family member cared for by someone expressing thoughts about killing someone due to their gender, orientation, race, etc no matter how triggered someone made them.
True. But would you want them cared for by a worker whose focus is on him/herself/itself the way this poster has described?
No insult is intended re: the pronouns/adjectives above. I just don't know which is the person's preference and don't want to offend by using the non-preferred one.
Just giving my two cents here but the issue I see based on the OP's post is not a mere friendly disagreement with one's "lifestyle". For the record being gay is not a "lifestyle". A comment was made that gay people should be harmed to the person who admitted that they are gay. That is not cool.
At this day and age, I am surprised we are saying that gay people should be hiding in closets, keeping their mouth shut so as not to trigger homophobic rants from people who don't agree with their "gayness". Hiding in the closet has been a source of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts for many gay people.
Not every gay person is the same, they fall on a wide spectrum of those who fit the outward appearance and mannerisms of a "straight" person to those who tend to be more "effeminate". One is not "better" than the other...so are we to tell those who act "effeminate" to "butch it up" so as not to offend their homophobic co-workers?
*sigh* For the umpteenth time, no one in this thread has validated in any form or fashion what was said to OP and all have said it was wrong and needs addressing. No one said OP or anyone in the LGBTQ community "should be hiding in closets, keeping their mouth shut so as not to trigger homophic rants yadda yadda regarding their gayness" or any of the such. OP's behavior reveals they obviously have a chip on their should and anybody who disagrees with his/her lifestyle be damned! No one bashed the LGBTQ community either so before that's the next pivot, that wasn't said either. It's not about gay/straight, it's about being a jerk and demanding others agree with you and being an even worse jerk if they don't. You can't create a conversation that you're sensitive about and get upset because you don't get 100% approval of your POV then feign victimhood. Not everyone agrees with anything. I'm divorced, some don't believe in that but I don't pull up to a job and say, I'm divorced then get upset at people saying they'd work it out no matter what, etc etc. If I don't want to hear it, I don't start it or engage in the conversation. People are opinionated and have been since the inception of humanity. You can't demand people feel what's in line with your lifestyle. This isn't a dictatorship on feelings.
Y'all in here arguing things not said nor inferred while dismissing the problematic behavior of OP. Yes, that person was wrong but OP's behavior is another issue. Their behavior in this thread is an issue, even against those in the LGBTQ community. But sure, let's pretend like everyone who's not pro-OP is anti-LGBTQ or bigoted. ?
There are no reasonable similarities? I agree that they are two separate issues but the murder of countless gays and transgender people because of their sexual orientation and gender identity by people motivated by hate isn't enough?
You can hide your sexuality, you can't hide your skin tone. Also, what about the people who are a POC and gay/transgender? They're both and more than likely experience double bigotry. I've also been on the receiving end of racism from LGBTQ members, not often but it does happen. What's the similarity in that case? Both communities go through issues but they are NOT the same.
Specializes in ACNP-BC, Adult Critical Care, Cardiology.
1 hour ago, NurseBlaq said:
*sigh* For the umpteenth time, no one in this thread has validated in any form or fashion what was said to OP and all have said it was wrong and needs addressing. No one said OP or anyone in the LGBTQ community "should be hiding in closets, keeping their mouth shut so as not to trigger homophic rants yadda yadda regarding their gayness" or any of the such. OP's behavior reveals they obviously have a chip on their should and anybody who disagrees with his/her lifestyle be damned! No one bashed the LGBTQ community either so before that's the next pivot, that wasn't said either. It's not about gay/straight, it's about being a jerk and demanding others agree with you and being an even worse jerk if they don't. You can't create a conversation that you're sensitive about and get upset because you don't get 100% approval of your POV then feign victimhood. Not everyone agrees with anything. I'm divorced, some don't believe in that but I don't pull up to a job and say, I'm divorced then get upset at people saying they'd work it out no matter what, etc etc. If I don't want to hear it, I don't start it or engage in the conversation. People are opinionated and have been since the inception of humanity. You can't demand people feel what's in line with your lifestyle. This isn't a dictatorship on feelings.
Y'all in here arguing things not said nor inferred while dismissing the problematic behavior of OP. Yes, that person was wrong but OP's behavior is another issue. Their behavior in this thread is an issue, even against those in the LGBTQ community. But sure, let's pretend like everyone who's not pro-OP is anti-LGBTQ or bigoted. ?
I am not sure what posts you are defending because there were multiple responses to the thread that states that the OP should never bring up the topic of their sexual preference in casual conversation with co-workers because they are new to the workplace. I disagree with that. You don't know how the conversation went between the OP and the person who responded that "gays should be taken to Nigeria to be killed". Part of hiding in the closet is not being openly gay by intentionally hiding one's sexuality in all aspects of one's life including their job for fear of discrimination.
Regardless of whether people agree with homosexuality or not, the response the OP received created a tone of hostility towards their sexual orientation. There should be no question about the aggression and inappropriateness of that response. It is similar to when a person stated that they are a born-again Christian and a co-worker said to them that they are ignorant or unintelligent fanatic. It is plan inappropriate however you look at it. No one is asking for approval, just a respectful interaction that does not involve name calling, or wishing harm on a group that someone identifies with.
1 hour ago, NurseBlaq said:
You can hide your sexuality, you can't hide your skin tone. Also, what about the people who are a POC and gay/transgender? They're both and more than likely experience double bigotry. I've also been on the receiving end of racism from LGBTQ members, not often but it does happen. What's the similarity in that case? Both communities go through issues but they are NOT the same.
And why should a gay person hide their sexual orientation?
I am not sure what posts you are defending because there were multiple responses to the thread that states that the OP should never bring up the topic of their sexual preference in casual conversation with co-workers because they are new to the workplace. I disagree with that. You don't know how the conversation went between the OP and the person who responded that "gays should be taken to Nigeria to be killed". Part of hiding in the closet is not being openly gay by intentionally hiding one's sexuality in all aspects of one's life including their job for fear of discrimination.
Regardless of whether people agree with homosexuality or not, the response the OP received created a tone of hostility towards their sexual orientation. There should be no question about the aggression and inappropriateness of that response. It is similar to when a person stated that they are a born-again Christian and a co-worker said to them that they are ignorant or unintelligent fanatic. It is plan inappropriate however you look at it. No one is asking for approval, just a respectful interaction that does not involve name calling, or wishing harm on a group that someone identifies with.
And why should a gay person hide their sexual orientation?
I agree with you that no one should be made to feel they have to hide their orientation, just as no one should feel they have to hide their religious or political beliefs. I think what some posters are saying is that one may want to feel out a crowd first, there are different ways of talking about these subjects and opening up. I did wonder if the OP brought it up in a very odd or aggressive way, which I have seen happen, almost as if they were attempting to get a rise out of someone. I also agree that it’s unprofessional to just go into any working situation and begin talking openly about personal matters, including sexuality. I personally do not believe someone’s sexuality is the most important or interesting thing about them. And I find it weird when in conversation someone feels the need to tell me who they like to sleep with if it doesn’t relate to the current topic. I’m always like, OK cool.... so as I was saying. It has nothing to do with me disliking that person’s orientation and everything to do with interacting in an appropriate manner with people you don’t know all that well.
I agree with you that no one should be made to feel they have to hide their orientation, just as no one should feel they have to hide their religious or political beliefs. I think what some posters are saying is that one may want to feel out a crowd first, there are different ways of talking about these subjects and opening up. I did wonder if the OP brought it up in a very odd or aggressive way, which I have seen happen, almost as if they were attempting to get a rise out of someone. I also agree that it’s unprofessional to just go into any working situation and begin talking openly about personal matters, including sexuality. I personally do not believe someone’s sexuality is the most important or interesting thing about them. And I find it weird when in conversation someone feels the need to tell me who they like to sleep with if it doesn’t relate to the current topic. I’m always like, OK cool.... so as I was saying. It has nothing to do with me disliking that person’s orientation and everything to do with interacting in an appropriate manner with people you don’t know all that well.
People responding: read the passage and respond. You can’t make up parts of the story! Should have learned this in grade school. Facts only. Continue on...
and thank you everyone with sense commenting. Not sure what small town some of y’all from but......I’m going to be my best gay self whether you like it or not like I said previously. ANYWHERE
And why should a gay person hide their sexual orientation?
They don't have to hide it but why go around throwing it in conversations randomly then feigning victim when they don't accept it. Is there not more to you as a person than your sexuality? Does that need to be the center of your initial interactions with people? I've worked with people who were obviously gay and/or transgender and said nothing about it as first, it wasn't important to me, second I didn't give a damn, and lastly, what the hell does that have to do with what we're doing at work? Nothing, so it needed to not be addressed. If they wanted to talk about it fine, but they didn't until we were actually acclimated and friends. Otherwise, it was irrelevant, as was my personal life.
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It’s not the only barometer, but it is an indicator of the gravity of racial inequality and brutality in contrast to LGBTQ matters. The seriousness cannot be detracted by drawing unreasonable parallels. I heard Ellen DeGenerous once claim that her oppression mirrors or is tantamount to racial injustice. I think such unfortunate, unthinking, and premature comparisons are quite foolish, if not dangerous.