ER nurse dealing with bullying...

[guest1156666]

Hi guys! So background... I have been nursing for almost 10 years but new to ER nursing. It was a big learning curve but I’ve felt like I’ve found my groove and everyone has been giving me great feedback (I had no concerns on how I was reforming). Well until now I guess.. 

OK so I just need to vent.. I saw my manager today to ask about vacation time and we were talking and she’s like ‘how are you doing, are you liking it here’ so I tell her for the most part yes, obviously there’s days that are harder than others. She then says ‘oh I’ve heard from some Charge nurses that you like to go in the separate break room to chart or look up your patients and they were worried’ so I explained I like to go there sometimes on my break only for the peace and quiet especially on some crazy days and she’s like oh OK yep that makes sense.

So then I approached one of the charge nurses  who I knew was the one who told my manager this and she was so rude to me. I was completely taken back from her cold response. I explained to her that I hope she wasn’t worried that I wasn’t staying on top of things and she goes ‘ ugh yes quite frankly I am concerned because you’re the only one who does it and I don’t think you’re charting in real time’ and scoffs and walks away. I literally felt like crying. Just needed to vent and shake it off. It completely killed my morale and I am so upset. To the point that I just want to look for another job. I am usually one to shake things off but this is killing my morale. Any advice or similar experiences??

[MLTBB20]

I don’t care what others say you were flat out bullied and instead of talking to you like an adult they stabbed you in the back by going to your manager. You’re not liked by them and stop trying to justify you were getting great feedback when they clearly don’t care for you. They are nice to your face and then go right to your boss to try to get you in trouble. You know it’s wrong because you clearly came on a forum asking for an opinion and your gut was telling you it’s wrong. Ask yourself this, do you want to keep dealing with this nonsense or actually go to a place where nurses are going to accept you who you are and have your back at least? If they are like this then you also need to watch your back with the manager she’s probably a *** as well. You know what you have to do.

[Isaiah Jackson, ADN, EMT-B]

sorry

 

[BSN-to-MSN, ADN, BSN, RN]

On 9/15/2020 at 1:22 AM, MLTBB20 said:

You don’t fit in with there “clique”. I’m sorry this happened but you’re going to want to quit and find another job. If you stay they are not going to treat you well and will probably report you for every little thing. I’m sorry but the battle of a nursing job is fitting in with the crew and if you don’t they will make your life a living hell. Quit immediately.

Not necessarily true. I don't fit into any clique at work and my work life is not a living hell.

Quitting immideatly is easier said than done. Losing a source of income might be tough.

Speaking of tough, ER nurses are not going to baby anyone, so eventually OP will catch up to that.

Or quit.

[caliotter3]

All I have to add is that if OP actually did resign over this, with employment matters being what they are, she will have a difficult time maintaining a standard of living. Almost all jobs have their unpleasant moments dealing with confrontation. One can’t be quitting all the time.

[Chickenlady]

On 9/12/2020 at 8:25 AM, JKL33 said:

 

 And...what would the CN care if someone is keeping up with labs or even reading charts on break? There are many who don't use their break this way, because it's a break from all of that....but keeping up or reviewing charts/previous charting, etc., is not some kind of moral failure.

What is this "break" of which you speak?  ?

[BSN-to-MSN, ADN, BSN, RN]

10 hours ago, Chickenlady said:

What is this "break" of which you speak?  ?

Actually, 2 types of "breaks".

1. " I'm going to eat my lunch away from work"

2. " I'm going to catch up on work on my break" , aka " working lunch"

 

[Life Visitor]

You will be fine. Managers and Supervisors envision a well-oiled machine running seamlessly in the face of chaos and adversity. If you took that personally then good. Make an adjustment and prove that having you as part of the team was a great idea. My husband Mr. paramedic was horrible to me when we first met and his "suck it up buttercup" infuriated me at first so I proved to myself that I was a good one. Master your trade, ask yourself "How could I have been better today?" I do that every shift. Get back in there and shine. We know you will.

[Guest219794]

  On 9/17/2020 at 12:24 PM, Chickenlady said:

What is this "break" of which you speak? 

On 9/17/2020 at 11:04 PM, RN-to- BSN said:

Actually, 2 types of "breaks".

1. " I'm going to eat my lunch away from work"

2. " I'm going to catch up on work on my break" , aka " working lunch"

What is this "lunch" you speak of?

OP- Whether or not this is bullying is semantics- the CN should have handled this differently.  

But, I wouldn't read too much into it.  The nursing world is pretty complex, and stuff happens.  I suggest let it go and move on.

Best of luck.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

7 hours ago, hherrn said:

 

OP- Whether or not this is bullying is semantics- the CN should have handled this differently. 

I respectfully disagree with your point about semantics. Actual bullying is a legitimate and too common problem. Labeling any and every charged and unpleasant interaction as bullying dilutes the word, making it too easy to dismiss someone as a snowflake when it actually has occurred. (This is irrespective of the OP's scenario- just speaking to this point.)

Anyway, I agree with you about how the other nurse handled the situation; they weren't channeling their inner adult that day...

[Katie82, RN]

If this is the worst thing that is ever said to you, you will be lucky. Definitely not bullying. I have been a charge nurse - they naturally have conversations with managers - "how do you think so-and-so is doing?" " Fine, she is catching on,   but it concerns me that she is charting after the fact in the small break room". End of conversation. Not bullying, not back-stabbing, just feedback to an inquiry. Let it roll.....

[kdkout, BSN, RN]

Get thicker skin. This was not that bad, at all

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

On 9/15/2020 at 2:22 AM, MLTBB20 said:

You don’t fit in with there “clique”. I’m sorry this happened but you’re going to want to quit and find another job. If you stay they are not going to treat you well and will probably report you for every little thing. I’m sorry but the battle of a nursing job is fitting in with the crew and if you don’t they will make your life a living hell. Quit immediately.

Oh my goodness! So true! ???