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when an employee "tattles"

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How do you handle when an employee comes in and tells you "Sue said she is quitting", "Mary says you are piling too much work on her", "Jane says if you assign Mr. Jones to her again she is walking out"?? What do you tell the employee who is telling you this? Do you address it with Sue, Mary, or Jane?

New to a management role, looking for some advice...

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN

Has 6 years experience.

Ignore it. Their statements may or may not be out of context, but in any case, they were not meant for your ears.

If I want my manager to know something, I'll tell him or her myself. I don't appreciate anyone speaking for me and don't know anyone else who does, either.

I agree! I guess I am looking for ways that I can tell the employee "next time Mary tells you stuff like this, tell her that you can't do anything about it and send her my way". I feel like it is a form of gossip and I would like to get them to cut the crap. :/

HappyWife77, BSN, RN

Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student. Has 20 years experience.

Make up a little picture that says......" What Sally says about Timmy says more about Sally than what she's trying to say about Timmy." Maybe she'll get the hint.

Or you could ask her if she's seen a copy of the etiquette handbook lately....maybe ask if you can get her a copy?

We all seen this behavior addressed going through every syllabus in nursing school. She has to know better. If not...time to re-educate her. Also let everyone know they can come to you. One person can poison the atmosphere if not handled with care.

I appreciate when management can call someone out.

What ever the case, address it immediately as you don't want her to think it's ok and acceptable. We need leaders.

Good luck!

Edited by HappyWife77

HappyWife77, BSN, RN

Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student. Has 20 years experience.

Ignore it. Their statements may or may not be out of context, but in any case, they were not meant for your ears.

If I want my manager to know something, I'll tell him or her myself. I don't appreciate anyone speaking for me and don't know anyone else who does, either.

I agree with this....don't address the third parties from hearsay. However....do deal with the one offering up info to you. Let her know....hey thanks Sally, but i don't thinks it's your place to be letting me know these things. Is there anything I can help YOU with?

it is called brown nosing....

You know, I am usually not naive by I think you have hit the nail on the head!!!

it is called brown nosing....

This. She hopes to get somewhere with you by providing you with this "useful" information. Be direct in letting her know that the tattletale and rumor carrier game won't work with you. Consider this behavior at job evaluation time under "coworker working relationships" or "team player" categories.

Don't ignore it, address it directly by letting her know that she is crossing a boundary of privacy with her coworkers. Let her know that this type of behavior erodes trust and is destructive to good and healthy team function. Tell her that such hearsay will NOT result in you seeking Mary or whomever out for a discussion but does will result in you watching her more closely to be certain that other violations of privacy are not occuring during her work.

I am maybe not as nice as some but this type of behavior doesn't float well with me.

K+MgSO4, BSN

Specializes in Surgical, quality,management. Has 12 years experience.

I tell the person that if the other person has an issue they want to talk to me about they know where my office is. Its like when jo tattle's to me about Bob not taking bloods or whatever I say you are both adults in a professional environment, talk to each other.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma. Has 40 years experience.

I agree! I guess I am looking for ways that I can tell the employee "next time Mary tells you stuff like this' date=' tell her that you can't do anything about it and send her my way". I feel like it is a form of gossip and I would like to get them to cut the crap. :/[/quote']Tell them cut the crap.

Seriously....when they say Mary says she is going to quit. Say Thank you but Mary will have to say ti herself. Then explain....some people say that out of frustration and I encourage everyone to try to not take things out of context as that can become gossip and gossip is hurtful.

I had a meeting do go over ground rules and expectations. I told them my pet peeves and expectations and allowed them to do the same. I also had a whining box in my office. They could place things there when they felt the needed to overshare.

MrChicagoRN, RN

Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care. Has 30 years experience.

"If Sue-mar-Jane has any concerns, she is welcome to come to my office & talk to me about it."

jdethman

Specializes in Nephrology. Has 6 years experience.

I treat it like all information, consider the source and file it away.

One way I learned to handle this situation is to ask the person "Why are you telling me this?" or "What is your intent?"

nurse2033, MSN, RN

Specializes in ER, ICU.

Ask the "teller" if they are modeling the professional behaviors of nursing. I would inform them of how destructive gossip can be and how that behavior can negatively reflect on an evaluation. You would love to hear meaningful input and information.

amoLucia

Specializes in LTC.

OP was new to management, so I'd bet that tattletale was just trying to cozy up to win points. I just so dislike those kind of people!