Pt's C/O in the ER (funny)

1savvydiva · Apr 21, 2004

The patients at our ED have to write their own cheif complaint...we have a running sheet of some of the stuff we've seen:
""burned lip from salt and vinegar tater chips"
QUOTE] O my gosh-we need a Life flight stat!!!!
LOL...yeah, that's what the ED doc said. He said, "Oh shyt, I don't think we can handle this one, somebody dispatch LifeReach so they can take them over to the trauma center."
:rotfl:

nursebedlam · Apr 21, 2004

9pm at night, patient comes with pain in the knee, "how long you had this pain pt" aarrh about 6 months now,,,,,,,,,,, blah

zudy · Apr 21, 2004

Sorry,Nursebedlam, got you beat,abd pain "for 6 years now."

She came in during the Super Bowl "coz I knew you people wouldn't be busy now,and I don't care anything about football."

Our ER doc says"Guess what? I don't care anything about abd pain."

dx: PID

my dx: PID w/ mets to the brain

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2004

Sorry,Nursebedlam, got you beat,abd pain "for 6 years now."
She came in during the Super Bowl "coz I knew you people wouldn't be busy now,and I don't care anything about football."
Our ER doc says"Guess what? I don't care anything about abd pain."
dx: PID
my dx: PID w/ mets to the brain

was she blonde :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

zudy · Apr 21, 2004

was she blonde :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Only her roots were blonde.

newgrad2004 · Apr 22, 2004

Omg that is tff

LoL!!

I liked the 17 yo boy who was at a skinny dippin party and was showing of on the diving board. On his way down his Johnson smacked the diving board
His friends called EMS over it
the medics were laughing so hard they could hardly get the radio report to us
Then we had to call his parents to get consent for treatment, that was interesting to say the least
Dx-----one bruised wanker

nialloh, RN · Apr 22, 2004

50 YO male transvestite comes to the triage window and states that "I am pregnant because its been a long time since my last period." After biting my lip, I suggested that he/she might be menopausal and not to worry. Satisfied with my explanation he actually said "thank you" and walked out the door.

OMG, I would love to have seen that :rotfl:

abnurse · Apr 22, 2004

The 25 yof c/o "I had a zit in my ear on Monday and I popped it and now my neck is swollen. Do you think the zit juice drained into my neck?"

"Is your throat sore?"

"yes"

Same day another female in her twenties:

I had some dental work done and when the dentist numbed my gum with the needle I think he hit my eardrum, b/c I have had an ear ache ever since.

My favorite frequent flyer that I see at least 3 times a week called EMS b/c he had been hit by a car 60 miles from the hospital in his home town. Upon arrival to the ED he tells me that he walked into a parked car and needed a ride home. :nono:

BuffyRN · May 4, 2004

I had one the other day... of course we were extremely busy with no open beds or any hope of getting one soon... 3rd ambulance in line comes in with a 40 something female, in obvious manic state, complaining she is pregnant and contracting every 2 minutes. We have nowhere to put this patient but the lobby, but before I do, I want to make sure she doesn't need to go directly to OB. She is not obviously pregnant, but that's not always required; not having any obvious signs of contractions during the 10 minutes I am talking to her nor did the paramedics notice any the entire time they were with her. I had to ask..."Ma'am, have you had sex in the past 9 months?" She answers affirmatively as the paramedics are picking themselves off the floor from laughing so hard. She tells me her water broke, but there is no sign of that either. So, after checking with the ER doc, I send her to the lobby to wait for triage, which could be quite a while. Triage nurse comes back in a while later and tells me when she called the OB dept., the midwife, who knows this patient well, laughingly tells her that the patient has had a hysterectomy several years ago. When she finally gets brought back to the treatment area hours later, we confirm with a negative HCG. It was not at all what we needed at the time, but it's sure funny now when I think about it.

Also, I got a call a couple of weeks ago:

Caller: What can cause your fingernails to turn yellow?

Me: Well, do you smoke?

Caller: Oh, that can do it? I thought I had yellow junnis.

These people certainly keep me laughing! :chuckle :chuckle

Beth

border rn · May 4, 2004

I'm STILL LOL!!!
:rotfl: :rotfl:

That is fabulous I so want to work in the ER:rotfl:

shanRN · May 4, 2004

pt came to ER c/o "bugs" in her stool. lab report of stool sample reported.."no parasite present. contaminent identified as 'bean sprouts'.." she was embarrased! i laughed forever!! :chuckle way too funny!

mommatrauma, RN · Mar 7, 2005

We've heard some good ones...

my Virginia smells...(lady parts)

I'm bleeding heavy and there were blood clogs (clots)

I have wheat legs (weak)

spiny metal jesus (spinal meningitis)

ackdominal pain

fell out

vomicking...we're convinced this is the phenomenon when it comes out both your mouth and nose...

Are you having diarrhea? Yes. How many episodes? Just one yesterday...

...here's your sign... :)