phone calls no outsider would believe

Specialties Emergency

Published

Got a call the other night, demanding to know if a man could still have an erection when he was dead, if it happened automatically.

I told him that was not something I was going to answer, he demanded to know why I didn't know, wasn't I a nurse??!! Go get another nurse!!

Told him again, this is not something I was going to discuss with him, so he told me he would be reporting me to both our local newspapers!

What's yours?

Last night, someone called and asked to speak to "an attending". The charge nurse directed the phone to the attending. The person calling then asked the attending what the relationship was to tooth pain and rectal pain. When the attending realized it was not another doctor on the other line and refused to answer, the pt called the doctor a "communist" and threatened to "blow his brains out". Crazy people out there. Same person called back later to ask when the "communist took over medicine".

lolol he should have asked him if he was kissing to much orifice at work??? roflamo - my bad - sorry couldnt resist.

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I was interning with a nurse in the ED. The phone was ringing off the hook and my nurse was doing med count so I thought I would help the unit secretary out and answer a few lines for her. The very first call I got was from this man that sounded very frantic. He asked if we picked up his friend and how was he doing, he had been shot. Knowing there were no gun shots victims at the time I asked him if he knew what hospital he was at b/c we had no one here at that fit that description. He said he knew it was our hospital b/c he dropped his friend at the entrance...which was closed at the time. It took me a moment to figure out what he was saying... The poor guy almost bled out on a bench. I never knew I could run so fast! They just dropped him off and left...didn't even wait to see if he was going to make it or not.

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I was interning with a nurse in the ED. The phone was ringing off the hook and my nurse was doing med count so I thought I would help the unit secretary out and answer a few lines for her. The very first call I got was from this man that sounded very frantic. He asked if we picked up his friend and how was he doing, he had been shot. Knowing there were no gun shots victims at the time I asked him if he knew what hospital he was at b/c we had no one here at that fit that description. He said he knew it was our hospital b/c he dropped his friend at the entrance...which was closed at the time. It took me a moment to figure out what he was saying... The poor guy almost bled out on a bench. I never knew I could run so fast! They just dropped him off and left...didn't even wait to see if he was going to make it or not.

holy crap - youd think theyd have at least went to the emergency doors - yikes - thank god you figured it out - hope the guy lived!! i could NEVER be an ER nurse in the big places where this stuff happens - my aprreciation goes to all who can deal with ER, OB, ICU, and peds........ i tried em all and for various reasons just couldnt deal with em...................... we all find our nitches - but until i found it i was horrified by the little i did see - this stuff would have made me quit before i even found my nitch.....

thank you to those who are in these jobs.

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My mom yelled at me for a similar thing. I was painting the baby's room a few weeks before he came out, so I was stretching my arms up over my head. When he was born, he did have the cord wrapped around his neck 3x!! So, maybe there is some "truth" to a few of the old wive's tales. Who knows?

For what it's worth... by the time you painted your baby's room, he was running out of room inside and was quite scrunched for space. Those loops around his neck had been there for a while. They likely happened much earlier in pregnancy when he had room to swim about.

And, NO... You did not cause it.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

I think @ one of those downtown LA hospitals, there's a phone down the driveway, direct line to the ER, for those customers dropping off a GSW to use and TELL ER they dropped off their friend.

I used to love calls to NICU where you heard this little tiny voice asking you, "How's my baby?". So I'd whisper back (why, I don't know! :rolleyes: ), "What's your baby's name?" "Maria" or "Jose" l'm thinking, this unit has 40 beds, I'm sure I can eliminate some of them, but not all!

Where I work now, it's a much smaller unit. Moms register under their own name, whether they're married or not. (Hispanic thing) Then the dad's relatives don't know her last name. They try to visit mom, and we won't let them if they don't know her last name. Confusion reigns, especially when you're dealing w/the 80-something greatgrandmother/aunt, etc.

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Well, working in a children's ER shields me from some of the stupid crap people ask, but we still get our share of crap because we also do OB/GYN.

I am so tired of people calling asking "Should I bring my baby (8yrs) in??", I start off my answer with the standard we can't give out any advice, etc... and if they still continue with the crap about should I bring my baby in, I give them this one.."Like Bill Cosby said, You brought them into this world and you can take them out", so, do whatever you want (since you are calling me from your cell phone only a few blocks away!).

Since when did a few hour history of fever or constipation become a medical EMERGENCY?? I just remember having to stay home with fever until your parent could get an appt with your PCP. Those days are long gone..

Just my 2 pennies.......

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Specializes in Telemetry, CCU, ED.

I work in a rural hospital ER, which is affiliated with a larger hospital about 30 miles down the road. Whenever we get phone calls from them, the caller inevitably says something to remind us of our "country bumpkin" status such as....." Hi this is ______, from down here at the main hospital....blah blah blah blah......"

So one night, we were extremely busy, every bed full, 10 patients in waiting at 0400, squads bringing new ones as soon as one gets discharged.....you get the picture.

Phone rings.....unit clerk says...."it's a nurse call from out of town, right down there in the vicinity of the "Big House" "

I am the lucky nurse who is between tasks at the time. The call went something like this....

me- "Hi, this is Lori, may I help you?"

Caller- "yeah......I've got these uhhhh.....bumps.....uhhhh.......all over me....down there....."

me- "okay...."

caller- " I was just wonderin' if they might be them there uhhhhhh.......general warts.....my wife has 'em too.....down there......."

me- "well, sir, we are unable to diagnose things over the phone, that is something that you would have to be seen for.....blah blah blah blah...."

caller- "well.....I uhhhhhh.......cheated on my wife about a year ago and now these here uhhhh...bumps have started coming out...uhhhh....down there..... and I just wanted to know if it was them there general warts......"

by this time, the Doc is standing there near me and is overhearing parts of the conversation, so I excuse myself and tell the Doc what's going on, explaining that this person had called the ER at the "big house" and had gotten transferred to us because they were "too busy to take the call"

The Doc says to tell the patient that it is a dire medical emergency and they should go right away to the NEAREST emergency department to be seen.....

We never heard back from the patient, nor did we see him.

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Specializes in ER/ ICU.

I could never do the nurse line. I would laugh too much. I mean seriously people, we have nothing better to do than go out and look in the lobby to see how busy we are tonight? They have learned to call 911 just because they think they get right in that way. I am usually very happy to tell them their cold sore can wait and go have a seat.

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Specializes in Emergency.

When I take one of those phone calls, "How busy are you", I always tell them that we are busy. If it's an emergency, they'll come anyway - and if it isn't, they'll just stay home.

I also instruct the rest of the staff to say we are busy. And if any of the staff have a problem saying that because they AREN'T busy, I tell them that I can always find them something to do so that they ARE busy!

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:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
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The most common and aggravating call I get is, "Are you guys busy tonight, I was in there earlier and the waiting room was full?"

I give my standard answer, "I cannot tell you how busy we will be when you get here because things can change at any time, this is the EMERGENCY department."

If it's an emergency come in, if you can wait for a less busy time to decide if you are going to come in GO TO THE CLINICS!!!!

That is my most unbelievable calls also----I am right with you!!!!!! If you have enough time to call and worry about how long the wait is ---then you obviously have NO EMERGENCY!!!!!!

I do like your answer!!

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One thanksgiving I took a call from a guy who wanted to know how much Jack Daniels he could safely drink while taking percoset, because he wanted to have a drink or two before his famly arrived.....Sir, I am sorry but I can't tell you that it is safe to drink any JD while taking percoset...Happy Thanksgiving!

Then there was a guy who thought that the steroids that we gave his son were the same kind that body builders used and was very upset with us because he didn't think that was safe....granted he waited til he got home to decide that it wasn't safe...didn't bother to ask while still IN the building...

One time there was a call from a woman inquiring about her husbands "test" results they of course were for some std...I told her that I couldn't share test results with her that I would need to talk to her husband, wife stays on the phone on another line, I inform them both that our policy is that people have to come get their results in person, we do not give those results over the phone. O.k. they will come in to get them....I pull the results which are positive... the couple arrives and suddenly the guy ( who is in his 70's) starts to have "chest pain" wife gets detained at the front desk registering him while he gets whisked away to our cardiac room...he gets his std results while alone in the room and then suddenly feels much better and needs no further tx, and he is going home. Awfully exepensive bill to get the results for a test that we wouldn't have let his wife in for anyway!

A sad one was another std scenario...the client could not be reached to be told he had to come in to get his results so we sent a certified letter saying he needed to come in, we get a call from his girlfriend begging us to leave them alone...then she starts asking what the results were etc. we can't say anything...the guy had convinced her that the results would be neg and that he wasn't cheating on her...after several phone calls in an hour from them they finally demanded to be left alone, no calls, no letters etc. they were convinced that the results were neg. unfortunately they were actually pos. girlfriend in total denial over the fact that bf was cheating.

I needed this thread after the night I had at work! :lol2:

soooooo grossed out by the dog semen thing :barf01:

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