add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts

Medic2RN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Nov 20, 2008

Complaint: "Clob Boob"

I called the patient back and asked him what he wrote. He had no idea.

"Did you write this?"

Pt: Yes Maam

"It looks like you wrote 'clob boob'. Is there something wrong with your boob?"

Pt: No

Ummm, okay, so why did you come here today??

Mommy_of_3_in_AL..RN · Nov 20, 2008

Nurse: " What brings you to the ER today?"
Pt:" Something going on down there"
Nurse: "Down where?"
Pt: "Down there" Pointing below the counter
Nurse: " Mamam, where down there?" (Pointing for effect)
Pt: " You know down there where I heat hotdogs"
Nurse: "What?"
Pt: " I warm hotdogs for my babydaddy down there and I think one is stuck and stinking"
:barf01:

OH MY GOD! I am working an ER rotation, only my second ever, tonight, and this both humors and scares the crap out of me.

A friend works in an ER a few counties over, and the had a lady come in complaining of a yeast infection a few months back. Come to find out she had rotted strawberries stuck down there. With maggots.....

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Nov 20, 2008

pt wrote "boil on bot chick". Triage nurse copied it verbatim. Get some mileage out of it, "so, how's your bot chick feeling? Any pain?"

RN2be.... · Dec 11, 2008

A ED triage nurse once told me that he brought back a patient with the chief complaint of "chapped lips".

Medic2RN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 12, 2008

Complaint: Nothing, I have no problems now.

:confused:

NessEDRN · Dec 15, 2008

" i think i caught a seizure"

me: "who threw it?":wink2:

Linds0094 · Dec 16, 2008

Young female at triage...

"I know I am pregnant"

ER RN- "How do you know?"

"My baby's daddy can feel two heartbeats in my wrist, mine and the babies"

Michellem0322 · Dec 16, 2008

Mom and Dad brought 9 month old to the ER.
Complaint?
The baby isn't reading

OMG Are they serious? :confused: :icon_roll

ncemt · Dec 16, 2008

I work as a tech in a peds ER triage area, and one time the chief complaint on the computer came up as "wants chile chicken." I couldn't believe it so I went over to registration, turned out there was a misunderstanding and the mom wanted her child checked :).

spookynurse, RN · Dec 17, 2008

I liked reading about the triage note that took 3 minutes to read.

My little incident was amusing as well. I got the triage slip and started towards it when I could see from afar that it was filled! It was only the front but it was a spiral of words starting at the bottom and going around the entire paper :yeah:

I thought oh yeah....this triage process is going to be fun!

Medic09, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 18, 2008

Had a little old lady yesterday who stated "I stopped breathing for 3 seconds last night"...um, if you are waiting 3 seconds between breaths, you are breathing 20 resps/min...??!?!?

Okay, I'm being obnoxiously pedantic here :icon_roll, but...

With a 'standard' respiratory cycle of 3 seconds (RR of 20), we have a usual ratio of about 1:2. One second inhalation to two seconds exhalation. Genuine pauses are from end-exhalation, and don't count as part of that cycle. No matter how you count those, however, if her exhalation (plus pause?) is three seconds, then any inhalation time means a respiratory rate less than 20. If she's doing 1:3, then the rate is about 15. If her inhalation side of the ratio is less than 1, then the RR is a little higher. If her inhalation is more than 1, then the RR is even less than 15.

I know, pedantic. Sorry! But when you go to set up or manage a vent, the cycle and ratio do become relevant...

Either way, of course, your position is correct. A 3 second pause doesn't qualify as apneic episode.

Now, how did she know how long she'd paused? Hmmm....

navynurse06 · Dec 21, 2008

We had a guy came in at about 0300 on am stated he couldn't sleep. b/c coming to the ed will cure that!