add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts

Babs0512 · Dec 21, 2008

True triage story: I had a clean cut, neatly dressed man in his 30's come in complaining of "discharge from my member". I asked all the pertinent questions, was he sexually active - "yes", did it hurt to pee - "no", then I asked, "Does your scrotum hurt?" So help me the man answered "Well Mam, I'd love to answer your question, but I don't know what a scrotum is!" I don't know how I kept from laughing. I said "Do your balls hurt?" he replied "oh, no mam"

Gotta keep a sense of humor!!

Pecked2DthByChickens · Dec 27, 2008

Admitting Dx: "Can't Stop Crying" :cry: (for 3 days straight)...and she was right. She sat in a bed in the hall and cried for hours!

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Dec 28, 2008

Admitting Dx: "Can't Stop Crying" (for 3 days straight)...and she was right. She sat in a bed in the hall and cried for hours!

what do you do for that, i assume call psych, but is there anything else

Babs0512 · Dec 28, 2008

You don't say how old this person is or his/her history. I've seen stroke patients who cry and cry, and they don't know why. I've also see it as a side effect of some medications, SSRI's and even benzo's. FYI.

BroadwayRN, ASN, RN · Dec 29, 2008

I'm having a bad reaction to the mammogram I had last week. What symptoms are you having? Breast tenderness, missed period and nausea. Could you be pregnant? Gee, I truly never thought about that. (She was pregnant) :rolleyes:

aidan13 · Dec 29, 2008

On Christmas evening I had a 30 yr old male who comes for a cut on his finger he had for 2 wks, occasional numbness to his arm and a bump on his sub-clavicular he had for 20 yrs. No pain, pt is in good condition. When asked why he specifically came on dec. 25 to see a doctor, he said it was his Christmas gift, to get checked out so he could start the new year knowing he was healthy.

yogie197 · Dec 30, 2008

This weird guy signed in "I want a nurse to look at my member".....at least he was honest. lololol:D

qcumba · Dec 30, 2008

One very common complaint we have is when parents bring in thier infants and when asked what thier complaint is they reply - Crying! yes unfortunately thats what babies do - and usually said child is in the parents arms grinning from ear to ear

Editorial Team / Moderator · Dec 31, 2008

My favorite ever, during a busy strep season: "Sore trout." Upon reading it, our triage nurse came up to our doc and asked if he had any veterinary experience.

Of course, there's always that variant of "pus-like," coupled with "discharge." Looks funny on our sign-in roster! LOL

EffinP_Meg · Dec 31, 2008

I work in a peds ER. My favorites have been:

"Got caught smoking pot" (sent via EMS from school...and we've had 5 or 6 of those!)

"menstrual cramps" (via EMS)

"He's not eating" (as he sits on mom's lap sucking on a lollipop)

"Not pooping" (the problem resolved itself prior to seeing the dr)

"passed out 2 days ago"

"stomach got stuck in zipper" (via EMS from school. Her tummy got pinched in her pants zipper...no trauma, no bleeding, no mark of any kind. The school aide told me "you know, schools have to be careful; there could be some sort of internal bleeding or something." Uhhhh huh.)

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Dec 31, 2008

"stomach got stuck in zipper" (via EMS from school. Her tummy got pinched in her pants zipper...no trauma, no bleeding, no mark of any kind. The school aide told me "you know, schools have to be careful; there could be some sort of internal bleeding or something." Uhhhh huh.)

wow we would never do that...I work at a preschool and we would not do that. There was a time that i worked that we probably should have child fell on head from 5 feet up (4 or 5 year old) teacher moved them (to my dismay) on to her lap and they were ok.

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2008

Oh
my
gawd.....................

Well if he burns his privates off then logically he can't get an std! And the darwin award goes to............