add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts

10MG-IV · Oct 20, 2008

A friend who works in the BAYOU, sent this to me.I had to pass it along after reading "names"

How do you pronounce this name Le-a?

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again.

It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes...you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something

come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent". :no: :typing

mmutk, BSN, RN, EMT-I · Oct 23, 2008

I wish I had the sign in sheet from this one time, she filled it out on the sign in blank and then trailed off the line until the entire page was filled up with like this 800 word description of her "complaints", she then flipped the page over and wrote all over the back of the sign in sheet too, it took me a good 3-4 minutes to read it all.

ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2008

I tell my pts when I am triaging them and they have a series of multiple unrelated complaints that they get 1 complaint. They get to pick their favorite. This is triage, not your PCP's office. God forbid.

A mother brought her 4 year old in for constipation and she states, "He ain't gone to the bathroom since Monday. I gave him a depository yesterday and I gave him another depository today and he still ain't gone."

Made me wonder where she was depositing it....

Fallenangel_85 · Oct 23, 2008

How about:

Pt: "I felt something that felt like some sort of an insect bite the area was red for a few seconds, I put some ice on it... now it's gone"

Me: And why are you here then sir?

Pt: I had a stroke 4 years ago

That's when I get a blank face trying to link the 2

Pt: I had cardiac surgery last year

Me - Still with a blank face. I am sorry sir but I can't see the relationship with your current presenting complain.

Pt: The doctor said to come straight here if I felt any chest pain and/or numbness in my arms especially if its in my left arm.(and he took out a list of symptoms he should be watching out for). Well the area went numb after I put ice on it, so I thought I'd come straight here. I was going to call an ambulance but I figured my wife could drive me since I only had 1 symptom.

ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2008

How about:
Pt: "I felt something that felt like some sort of an insect bite the area was red for a few seconds, I put some ice on it... now it's gone"
Me: And why are you here then sir?
Pt: I had a stroke 4 years ago
That's when I get a blank face trying to link the 2
Pt: I had cardiac surgery last year
Me - Still with a blank face. I am sorry sir but I can't see the relationship with your current presenting complain.
Pt: The doctor said to come straight here if I felt any chest pain and/or numbness in my arms especially if its in my left arm.(and he took out a list of symptoms he should be watching out for). Well the area went numb after I put ice on it, so I thought I'd come straight here. I was going to call an ambulance but I figured my wife could drive me since I only had 1 symptom.

AAUUUGH!!!!!!!

And it's people like this that survive strokes.

USIJurgy · Oct 24, 2008

Oh man, I am usually one of those people who just browses, but this one caught my eye!

So I was working triage one day when a gentleman came in who had been in the ER 3 days ago for urinary retention secondary to BPH. We sent him home with a leg bag and told him to follow up with the urologist.

On the sign in sheet for his chief complaint he put, "Here to be decathinated."

Just thought that was too funny!

Fallenangel_85 · Oct 24, 2008

AAUUUGH!!!!!!!
And it's people like this that survive strokes.

Unfortunately for our gene pool YES!

Hilinenursegrl · Nov 2, 2008

" I was bit by a raccoon" True

"I was bit by a gopher" True

"I locked myself out of the house when I went out to have a smoke and had to break the window with my elbow b/c my baby was in there" Not true

"I need a Hcg test" This from a girl who had a baby 2 weeks ago and a hx of more than 15 hcg's in our ED in 2 years.

"I'm sure I have a blood clot in my vein I can feel it. I find this an emergency. I'm going to take a bath before I come in" This was a phone call I received after he explained to me what Lasix was.

twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN · Nov 3, 2008

We had one come in yesterday for OD by ambulance, took about 20 xanax. When asked why he did he states slowly "for an experience of a lifetime". I told the nurse that told me that, "he must just be making his bucket list"

twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN · Nov 3, 2008

Me: "what brings you to the ER today?"
Pt (with flat affect): "I need my peanut butter balls."
Me: "I see. and what happens when you don't get your peanut butter balls?"
Pt: "I fall out"
here began a lengthy Q:A session filled with repetitive questions (from me-sounding like i had a concussion) and vague, non-descript answers from him (because he wasn't much of a conversationalist), it was finally determined.....he wanted phenobarbitol because "falling out" was a seizure (in my defense i thought it was syncope).

Thank you, that made me laugh today:yeah::chuckle

mmutk, BSN, RN, EMT-I · Nov 4, 2008

I can't remember the exact details of the conversation, but i'll never forget this 17 year old girl. She came in and once I got her back to the triage room she broke down on me and wanted me to talk her through having sex for the first time with her boyfriend. She said they tried earlier in the week and they just didn't get it right and wanted some advice and to let her know what to expect.

Being a male nurse and over the age of 18, I immediately triaged her to a female nurse in fast track.

The_Squid · Nov 4, 2008

We just started having pt's list their complaints, we were triaging backwards before, registration taking cheif complaint and insurance then seeing triage. I laugh mostly at the spelling so far "Vomintin"