Eating Their Young

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Hey everyone!

I'm curious- which nursing specialty do you think has more nurses that eat their young and is more likely to have a toxic work environment? And why?

I am not talking about nurses who just straight shoot and are wrongly accused of bullying... I am talking about the actual bullies. I am an RN (a newbie here and a newbie in general - I have been practicing for 2 years). I have experienced bullying first hand and it actually came from someone I take seniority over - an LPN. I confided in my work mates about what she did and they ALL validated my "she's a bully" opinion... I left work crying a few times because of the callous things she would say. She did not even have a hate on for me... she was just entertained about getting under my skin. She stopped eventually but I know as soon as she sees a fresh face she can bully, she will. I feel sorry for her, because no happy person can do that. You can bet that I have explored both sides. I only think some nurses bully because they are sad and oppressed. Happy nurses do not. And yes - I know people know it's a trend but it's a trend every where and it's frustrating to see. And YES it is hypocrisy for those that are guilty.. The Canadian Nursing Association's Code of Ethics' very first value is, "Providing Safe, Compassionate, Competent and Ethical Care"... that should not just mean that your patients get your compassion.. your coworkers should as well. At any time your coworkers can become your patients. It's time we get mad at who we actually should, the ones who are causing our anger. I am not attacking anyone on this board... do not assume my opinion is invalid because I am new. I am attacking the normalization of bullying of nurses (people who have been making jokes about nurses eating their young as an example). It is not funny, it is not healthy and it is not okay.

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And I am a new member but I have been looking at the topics for probably about a year. I know it looks like I just waltzed in here... the knowledge I wish to share has come from a whole lot of suffering.. and while there were some people who had more of a hand in it then others, I do not blame them. I blame the system.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
Nurses eat their young because young nurses continue to post items about nurses eating their young. You see, it drives us to it.

I find that the special snowflakes are the yummiest. They melt in your mouth.

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interesting video i found earlier.

Thank you for posting this video. I don't disagree with any of the ideas presented in it!

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Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
I am not talking about nurses who just straight shoot and are wrongly accused of bullying... I am talking about the actual bullies. I am an RN (a newbie here and a newbie in general - I have been practicing for 2 years). I have experienced bullying first hand and it actually came from someone I take seniority over - an LPN. I confided in my work mates about what she did and they ALL validated my "she's a bully" opinion... I left work crying a few times because of the callous things she would say. She did not even have a hate on for me... she was just entertained about getting under my skin. She stopped eventually but I know as soon as she sees a fresh face she can bully, she will. I feel sorry for her, because no happy person can do that. You can bet that I have explored both sides. I only think some nurses bully because they are sad and oppressed. Happy nurses do not. And yes - I know people know it's a trend but it's a trend every where and it's frustrating to see. And YES it is hypocrisy for those that are guilty.. The Canadian Nursing Association's Code of Ethics' very first value is, "Providing Safe, Compassionate, Competent and Ethical Care"... that should not just mean that your patients get your compassion.. your coworkers should as well. At any time your coworkers can become your patients. It's time we get mad at who we actually should, the ones who are causing our anger. I am not attacking anyone on this board... do not assume my opinion is invalid because I am new. I am attacking the normalization of bullying of nurses (people who have been making jokes about nurses eating their young as an example). It is not funny, it is not healthy and it is not okay.

And I am a new member but I have been looking at the topics for probably about a year. I know it looks like I just waltzed in here... the knowledge I wish to share has come from a whole lot of suffering.. and while there were some people who had more of a hand in it then others, I do not blame them. I blame the system.

I appreciate the clarifications, and I just want to let you know that I don't think your ideas are invalid, I just wanted to give some suggestions/cautions on how to proceed with the post you said you intended to make. I completely agree that lateral aggression in the work place isn't good, and that it isn't unique to nursing. I think "bullying" has become a buzz word that isn't always very accurate, but certainly there can still be aggressive and abrasive personalities without it being what I would call "bullying".

When I was a new(er) nurse, there was a veteran nurse (both former military and the oldest/most experienced nurse on the unit) who was pretty gruff and blunt. Our interactions were uncomfortable for me sometimes, but it wasn't bullying. It was just different personalities, and I think it can be a big adjustment to learn how to function as an adult and a professional in an environment with all these different personalities....especially in a high stakes job like nursing. Anyway, that's just a random anecdote, I don't really have a point to it - just sharing :)

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If you want to change a cultural thing in your unit, realize that it didn't get that way overnight and you're not going to change it overnight even if you're reaeeeealllly passsssionnaaaate about doing it. This is actually one use for the scientific method you had beat into you by your mean instructors.

Start by studying. Learn what bullying is and what it is not (to coin a phrase LOL). Don't reinvent the wheel-- learn the simple techniques for turning away wrath and foiling bullies.

Then go to observing. Data are critical before you can develop an hypothesis and a possible intervention. IS everbody a little uncivil, or are there one or two people who are the main culprits driving the tension?

If you're the target du jour, make a plan. Enlist one coworker to stand by you and call out bad manners prn. Or if you identify a target, you stand by him/her. The bully will move on to someone else-- but now there are two people to let him/her know that the behavior is not going unnoticed and is not appreciated.

Next year, when the next crop of new hires comes in, now there are three people who have made the commitment to demonstrate better cultural behavior. This whole thing takes time, but it can turn around a unit, and from there, an institution (if needed).

ALL THAT SAID, I wholeheartedly agree with RubyVee and the other old bats who have seen this rodeo once or twice. If you expect bad manners, you invite them. No, this is not "Blame the victim." People pretty much get out of life what they expect. Carry yourself as a non-victim, meet bad manners with bemused smiles and not confused tears, and you'll be doing your part for better interpersonal hygiene in the workplace and elsewhere.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
Sriracha!

Buffalo ranch dressing for me. Hot and cool all in the same bite.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
Someone has noticed a trend with this "Nurses Eat Their Young" crap. So many people feels this way for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with nurses eating their young. In fact, the majority of bullies I've seen in my career have been newbies trying to (or succeeding in) tearing a chunk off the older nurse whom they've decided isn't NICE enough to them. We've had threads here from newbies complaining that they've been bullied because the preceptor declined to discuss her family issues with the newbie she met last week while "she talks to all her OLD friends about it!", because the preceptor declined to have lunch with the newbie, because the newbie encountered the senior nurse in the lobby at 0630 and "she never said hello" (never mind that the newbie didn't say hello, either and the senior nurse might not have even noticed her), because the newbie wasn't invited to go to the baby shower for a nurse she's never met, because the newbie was told that she needs to come to work on time and she didn't like the way she was told, because after signing multiple performance plans the newbie was terminated "for no good reason", because the newbie did not understand that adding an extra zero on an insulin dose (especially an IV insulin dose) is a really big deal and thought the preceptor was being unjustly picky in criticizing her harshly the third time in a 12-hour shift that this happened . . . the list goes on and on. Do a search for some of the threads here if you doubt me.

Usually, there are clues in the posts as to why the poster may have difficulty in getting along with her new colleagues. Referring to them as "old dogs who can't learn new tricks," "old dinosaurs who ought to just retire and get out of my way so I can rock the ER," "mean old biter nurses" and "crusty old bats" might possibly be clues as to the identity of the REAL bullies in those situations.

This sums it up very well, IMO.

Sorry about the intermittent internet issues, Ruby.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
This sums it up very well, IMO.

Sorry about the intermittent internet issues, Ruby.

Nah, it's all good. (Except that I miss some very good threads around here!) It's one of the "perks" of living on a boat. When the tide is low, the Wifi signal just goes right over our heads. We only have Wifi with high tide.

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Nah, it's all good. (Except that I miss some very good threads around here!) It's one of the "perks" of living on a boat. When the tide is low, the Wifi signal just goes right over our heads. We only have Wifi with high tide.

Living on a boat . . . that sounds good to me!

I'm surrounded by huge snow drifts that make it pretty tough to get around. But, we have wifi or internet access through the phone system.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Living on a boat . . . that sounds good to me!

I'm surrounded by huge snow drifts that make it pretty tough to get around. But, we have wifi or internet access through the phone system.

Surrounded by high snow drifts here, too. Our "front door" is a hatch cover on the cabintop that slides open and two 2-foot high companionway doors that open outward. The snow has drifted to the top of those doors, and there was snow frozen on the hatch cover so it wouldn't slide. It has taken my DH all day to get the "front door" open so that we can take the dog ashore -- his first trip ashore since it started snowing at 8pm Friday.

It's supposed to be much warmer on Wednesday and Thursday -- hopefully that will allow us to get further south.

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Good question! Maybe a nurse who works on a cruise? If the boat sank and they swam to a desert island they might have to turn to cannibalism.

:banghead:

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