drug diversion vs practicing without a license?

1sttime · Nov 17, 2015

Sorry to hear about you circumstances- depending on the employer they might not report you- but it is likely that they are mandated by law to report any activity "unbecoming the profession of nursing".

Depending on the state you are in you might be able to contact the IPN, TPAN, HPSP, (whatever it might be called in your state)- and enroll. If you do this before the BON gets involved there will likely be no real involvement from the BON.

I was a fantastic Nurse for 15 years- this gets you no points with the BON.

I can say though that for all of the pain that being in a monitoring program caused, and all of the stress of being investigated by the BON- I am in a much better place in life. I have grown up, made amends with myself, and moved on... perspective has shown me that this is a blip on the radar.

Seek counsel- find out what is available to you resource wise- gather your support system- take the first steps to getting back on track (its hard)- and the rest will follow.

whodatme · Nov 18, 2015

Hang in there. Look, EVERYBODY has some sort of vice or issue in life. You'll take it one day at a time and learn to be ok with being you. And that is something i'm trying to understand. Alcohol and drugs weren't the real problem. It was me. I didn't know how to just be myself without stuffing it full of whatever. All of the BS that I worry about is something I can't control and it will pass. Good luck and God bless.

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Nov 18, 2015

I was in a similar position fifteen years ago. I had been a nurse for 12 years. I was facing a mountain of my own making coming down on my head.

At the time, I thought I'd just walk away, stay away, and start over doing something else. I got an additional college degree, a BA in Political Science/Minor in Philosophy with Paralegal training. I was unable to really get anywhere, even though I had two college degrees. The sense of shame never left me, knowing I walked away from that which I had worked so hard for, given so much to, the career in nursing that to me was a double edged sword.

Do what you will. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have wasted 15 years in No Man's Land, feeling like I was a ship cast adrift. I'd make the phone call to the State Assistance Program and get started before the Board even hears about it. Most states provide that if you contact the assistance program first, follow their directions, and can demonstrate compliance, your involvement isn't reported to the BON and the State's Attorney doesn't get involved. If your employer does report you to the BON and you are already signed up with the assistance program, it looks far better for you. I'd think long and hard before walking away from all the years you've put in. I thought I wouldn't miss it and I was very very wrong.

A few years ago I decided I wanted to give it another try. Happily, I'm in my state's monitoring program now, and will be able to apply for reinstatement soon. At one time I never thought I'd be here, but I am.

Good luck to you. Let us know how things turn out.

meloo1969 · Nov 18, 2015

thank you all for your advice and understanding. I'm still waiting for result of my urine drug screen. I'm a nervous wreck in the meantime! All my coworkers and Dr's are angry hearing about my firing and threatening to write letters to the board, etc. that only makes it worse because when the truth comes out , they will be so shocked and disappointed. I'm not sure whether to stick with my first story, saying I just forgot to get an order and gave them to the patients, or to admit to taking them. It's been such a tough year with my daughter having an undiagnosed sickness and my husband having heart problems, but of course none of that is taken into consideration. I just know a little about how the BON works and what they've done to friends of mine who have been reported. I too have just thought about giving up my license as I am so drained from nursing and so over it, but my husband says he thinks I'll miss it. But like you said "whotame", I have to be ok with myself and learn not to drink or take drugs to relive my stress and depression and know that God loves me and therefore I should love myself. Just wondering if I should get an attorney or wait? thank you all!

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Nov 19, 2015

Definitely get an attorney, preferably someone that specializes in professional licensure issues and isn't from your small town :)

allnurses Guide · Nov 19, 2015

Just wanted to wish you the best in this and say that further untruthful statements will most likely backfire, so do get an attorney and follow their advice before committing yourself to any voluntary statements.

elkpark · Nov 19, 2015

It's been such a tough year with my daughter having an undiagnosed sickness and my husband having heart problems, but of course none of that is taken into consideration.

None of that is taken into consideration because none of that is an excuse for what you have been doing. I don't mean to sound harsh, but one of the best things you can do for yourself (in addition to getting an attorney) is to stop minimizing and making excuses for your actions. You've been stealing controlled substances from your employer for your own, illicit use for, by your own account, over six months. I would guess that "an ugly reputation" is probably the least of your problems at this point. The sooner you face up to that and take responsibility for it, the sooner you can start dealing with the situation in a realistic and healthy way. Denial will only get you so far ...

Best wishes!

Psychcns · Nov 19, 2015

Sorry to hear about this. You are not the first to steal drugs from work to self medicate. You owe it to yourself to take charge of this situation. Try some AA or NA groups. If you like these programs you will learn about your addiction and how to better cope. Find a therapist who knows how to work with people with drug issues. There is a LOT of help available when you are ready. Best wishes!

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 21, 2015

It's critical you are truthful from here on out, with yourself, your employer and the board. I am sure it will be a rough time in the next weeks and months but it will get better. I know addicts and love many of them and the thing I have learned from al-anon (for those of us who know/love addicts and alcoholics) is that it's critical to be honest with ourselves and others to begin to get well. So I just leave you with that advice. I am horrible enabler and addicted to enabling and other vices like food myself, so I have a lot of the same thought processes as any addict. Honesty has been a problem for me many times.

I wish you well. I am sorry you find yourself in the place you are and I hope it gets better for you soon.

It does sound as if you are an addict, so it would be a good idea to find some AA or NA meetings SOON.

BeachsideRN, ASN · Nov 21, 2015

Why wait for the drug screen? You have a problem regardless of the results of that test. Seek help. Now.

Omaapecm, ASN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

An attorney is always a good idea but I don't know how you could convince your employer not to report it. We are all human and make mistakes but part of learning from our mistakes is taking responsibility and suffering through the consequences. Why would you want to give up a great 20 year career. Maybe it's the disease of addiction rearing its ugly head , maybe it's not. Unfortunately, BON doesn't care about our struggles and they surely don't make it easy. You can pray for a miracle and give it to god. That's what I did. I still got nailed by the board but I was more accepting of it in the end. Good luck!!!!