Don't Know Where Else to Ask This

I'm hoping that your personal relationship preceded the professional one.

But putting that aside, and without going into detail about the level of animosity involved in the breakup ... maybe you could be proactive and say on the phone, as a patient, "I understand that this is very awkward for both of us. I need to continue care with Dr. X at (time interval) for treatment of (your condition). Is there someone else who could take this call for you?" Hopefully that will establish new professional/personal boundaries for both of you.

If it does not, you are going to have to call the practice manager/administrator directly, or seek out some other solution, including considering transferring your care to another provider. Keep conversations civil, and from the perspective of your patient relationship with your physician.

A very messy situation.

To address something that already came up--I don't really think the relationship was inappropriate on the OP's part. The nurse was the one who had the duty to not engage in a relationship with a patient from the practice for which she works.

My 2 cents…if it is possible, try and find another physician/practice. This is the easiest solution; however, it may not be possible or practical for any number of reasons. If you have a good working relationship with this physician, and he/she knows your hx. and treats you well, it is unfair for you to have to find another doctor because this nurse is being a stinker. If you choose to stay with that physician, I agree with Altra--go to the nurse first and see if there is some other solution so the two of you don't have to have any more interactions. If the nurse refuses this and continues her unprofessional behavior (i.e., not scheduling you), speak directly to the the physician or office manager. If neither of those people help you and the situation remains unresolved, then, no matter how great you find the physician's care, I really don't think you want to be a patient of that practice. Again, just my opinion which you can take with a grain of salt.

Thank you to all who responded. This was an ex-coworker who only scheduled me upon having planned to move out-of-state due to ethical concerns. The move didn't work out, and a what was initially billed as a 3-or-fewer month stay on my couch (just a friend) led to a stay in my bed. This person has access to my chart notes online (I know because I've been shown) and, as I say, acts as a gatekeeper to all appointments. Were I to contact the Dr.'s second office, for example, on one of this person's day's off, he would nevertheless be able to cancel, view and / or modify new appointments even from his home. I've thought of leaving a note on the Dr.'s windshield or something, but I'm sure psychiatric providers deal with all sorts of stalkers & psychos, and that's no doubt how I'd come off. I really think I'm just going to try and find another provider, even if it's just a GP at first to continue on with my meds, and never, ever, ever, ever sleep with anyone who works in a provider's office again.

If you bring it to someones attention that you had a relationship with said person, they should no longer be allowed to have any access to your record or be able to schedule/un-schedule you. Especially if you do call on their day off and let someone know that you're concerned any appointments you make could be altered later. Access to charts is traceable and a huge no-no for any reasons other than patient care.

Try to speak to the office manger about the issue and the p-doc about the situation; if you are seeing the p-doc for a continual basis, try to continue seeing this doc; try to walk in and personally address the issue, possibly see if the doc can personally schedule you appointment and keep the appointment separate from the regular schedule if possible.

If impossible, try to transition to seeing someone else during this ordeal, to ensure continuity of care.

Best wishes.

Send the physician a letter outlining your concerns by certified mail requiring the signature of the addressee. That way you are sure that it is received by the provider.

This behavior from the office staff is totally unacceptable and the provider should be made aware.

I had the accessing my chart problem once. The mother in law, who can not stand me, became my doctor's nurse. She wasn't the scheduler but did have access to my medical record and would lie to my doctor about things that were not true (the worst being alleged drug use by me when I asked for some help relieving pain from a slipped disc) and I didn't find out about this until another nurse asked me if I had an addiction problem when she read it in my chart. She knew the nurse that entered it was my mother in law and that we did not get along. The office personnel were able to lock her out of my chart, my hubs chart, and our kids' chart. We then switched providers in the same office (small town) so she was no longer our nurse. Haven't had issues since.

I had the accessing my chart problem once. The mother in law, who can not stand me, became my doctor's nurse. She wasn't the scheduler but did have access to my medical record and would lie to my doctor about things that were not true

Would this not be a HIPAA issue, as well? If the nurse doesn't have a reason to access your medical record (treating you directly) then they shouldn't be in it, period. I would look into that and approach it from that direction.

This is a screwed up mess.

I get that you may be in a place where you like the MD which you are a patient of. However, given the circumstances, I think that I would move on.

With that being said, what the employee is doing is unethical. Most MD offices are affiliated somehow with a larger hospital or company. Each of which has a risk management, compliance, and complaint departments, most of which can be accessed online. I would think that it be more pointed for you to go above the local office. The IT department at the corporate level can also see when this person is obsessing over your medical record, and there are ways of them looking back, seeing when you have called, and a digital footprint of when the appointment was cancelled and by whom.

Be mindful and careful. For a couple of reasons. If this person was your co-worker, and you are a licensed nurse, this could come back and reflect on you--protect yourself. Secondly, what this person is doing is stalkerish and creepy, to say the least. Keep yourself safe--get any and all support you can.

The bottom line is that this person is doing the wrong thing. It can be dangerous. Protect yourself. You are 2 consenting adults. You had a relationship. That did not work out. How your former friend is acting is outrageous, controlling, and not at all rational. And needs to stop. But do get some support surrounding this.

Best wishes and keep us posted.