Does being a nurse make you feel like a good person?

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

Hi all, I have too much time to contemplate life during this quarantine! I have noticed some posters mention they recommend viewing nursing as your job and not your identity. I am guilty of having my identity wrapped up in being a nurse for the last 7 years, and I felt working with disadvantaged pt populations made me a better person than working at a for profit place or in a more affluent area. Therefore I worked at a community clinic serving low income residents and recent immigrants. Then worked at a county hospital working with similar pt population as well as pts with addiction and mental illness.

2 months ago I switched to working for a large nonprofit system in the town I am from, which is one of the most expensive areas in the country. Job is higher pay, less stress, and my mental health is exponentially better. The pts are mostly wealthy, healthy people coming for outpatient surgery. There is sometimes charity care done. I am much happier but have guilt about taking the easy road when I already come from privilege. Does anyone have similar feelings or prefer working with a certain pt population? If you do, is it because you truly enjoy the interactions more, or because of a sense of doing the right thing? At the community clinic I truly enjoyed almost all of the patients, wonderful people from all around the world. At the hospital, enjoyed some of them, did not enjoy gettin beat up and screamed at, but still felt I was helping the most vulnerable. Interested to hear other points of view.

[JBudd, MSN]

Getting a good job is nothing to guilt about.  If you want to make a difference, you can always volunteer somewhere; Salvation Army sometimes want people to serve meals, food banks need help boxing up supplies, homeless clinics, etc.  

I do enjoy helping out the vulnerable in the ER, but I think it is who you are before you are a nurse; nursing doesn't make you a "good person", you are a compassionate nurse because you are a good person.

[Emergent, RN]

Nursing, first and foremost, is a way to make a living. I have worked with the underclass, especially at my last job. It has its amusing side to it, but you can sure get burned out on the dysfunction of this segment of the population.

I see no reason not to enjoy the fact that you are dealing with a more functional group of people, who aren't totally destroying their health with disgusting habits. It's also nice to work with a population that has a better grasp of certain facts of life, because they actually pay co-pays, and have had to deal with the realities of having a job.

 

[SilverBells, BSN]

LibraNurse23,

I've seen those recommendations as well, as far as viewing nursing as a job, rather than a calling or identity.  I know that I have also struggled with this.  One of the things I like best about nursing is when you can come home from work, knowing you were able to give something a patient needed.   The days I've felt the best about myself are those when I've been actively involved with ensuring a patient received the care they needed, because it met I was a strong advocate for them.  It feels good knowing you've done the right thing.  

With that said, for me, sometimes the guilt I have had hasn't necessarily been that I haven't worked with lower income patients so much, but rather the fact that most of the patients I care for are of relative low acuity.  I've always felt a little bad about not having acute care experience and not being a nurse that cares for patients in urgent need of medical assistance.  

The thing is, all of the patients we serve are in need of care.   Income, level of acuity or any other factors really don't determine whether or not someone needs a good nurse or whether we are good people.   We simply need to do a good job providing care for any patient that comes our way.  Additionally, there is no need to feel guilty about working at a job that promotes your own health and well being.  As others mentioned, you can always volunteer if you feel the need, but you should also feel good about the work you do at your job as it is just as important. 

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, SilverBells said:

The thing is, all of the patients we serve are in need of care.   Income, level of acuity or any other factors really don't determine whether or not someone needs a good nurse or whether we are good people.   We simply need to do a good job providing care for any patient that comes our way.  Additionally, there is no need to feel guilty about working at a job that promotes your own health and well being.  As others mentioned, you can always volunteer if you feel the need, but you should also feel good about the work you do at your job as it is just as important. 

Thank you! That is so true. Thank you @JBudd for the volunteer suggestions. @Emergent I did feel sad seeing people unable to cope with addiction, and felt a connection with them due to my mental illness, which made me feel hopeless and think I would end up the same. However, I know income, childhood trauma, and lack of social support likely made it harder for them. And, the behaviors people exhibit while intoxicated or withdrawing can become draining.

You are correct that I can volunteer serving the patients I liked interacting with, especially those from other countries who need help navigating the American health system or lack access other than free clinics due to not being legal citizens. Working with people from all over the world opened my eyes to what goes on in other countries and why people risk it all to come here in hopes of a better life.

SilverBells, I understand the feeling of accomplishment you are talking about. And you are correct, patients of all income levels and all levels of acuity need care. Long-term care pts often receive poor care due to the conditions in long-term facilities, so to be a good LTC nurse is so important! But, it is also OK to put your health first and move to an area or job that doesn't cause you so much stress. 

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

I don't think you should feel guilt for finding a job that doesn't wreak havoc on your mental health and personal life. I can relate to you in the sense that I've always enjoyed working with the less desirable patient populations homeless, mentally ill, substance users, elderly, ID/DD, forensics, etc., Mainly because I just felt like maybe that's where I could do the most good. Nursing is just an occupation, but the fact that it allows me to help make a person's life a little bit easier, comfortable, or better is very important to me. Realistically you can do this with any patient population regardless of their income or privilege  , they still are deserving of high quality care and kindness.

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

10 hours ago, Emergent said:

Nursing, first and foremost, is a way to make a living. I have worked with the underclass, especially at my last job. It has its amusing side to it, but you can sure get burned out on the dysfunction of this segment of the population.

I see no reason not to enjoy the fact that you are dealing with a more functional group of people, who aren't totally destroying their health with disgusting habits. It's also nice to work with a population that has a better grasp of certain facts of life, because they actually pay co-pays, and have had to deal with the realities of having a job.

 

The more "functional" higher income non "underclass" have disgusting habits as well. Apathy, avarice, egomania. Except with their accumulated resources and influence their disgusting habits can effect all of society versus just one individual drown trodden person's health.

[Davey Do]

12 hours ago, LibraNurse27 said:

 The pts are mostly wealthy, healthy people coming for outpatient surgery. There is sometimes charity care done. I am much happier but have guilt about taking the easy road when I already come from privilege. Does anyone have similar feelings or prefer working with a certain pt population?

I've heard from reliable resources that one reason why Wrongway Regional Medical Center can stay open despite its reputation for being a Hellhole Hospital is because of the population it serves.

Eiffel Ill. is a town of blue collar steel mill workers who started the hospital, along with the Catholic diocese,  in 1921. The opening lines of John Steinbeck's Cannery Row reminds me of Eiffel... "is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream".

Eiffel is not a pretty town, filled with, as Steinbeck put it, men some would call SOBs while other would call them Saints. I really felt like I was contributing something, working with the screaming schizophrenics from the street, whereas I started my psych career administering Valiums to blue haired old ladies.

But would I feel guilty if I had landed a job at Anomaly Memorial where the clientele is of a higher class? Hell no!

LibraNurse, as the rain falls on the just and unjust alike, so does sunshine.

So, enjoy the sunshine!

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I don't really connect my view of myself as a person with my job. I try to be a good person, raise my kids to be good people, and I happen to be a nurse. As was already pointed out, all nurses are serving patient populations deserving of care. I would hope that in all areas, the nurses that are providing their care are good people. Who deserves a "good" nurse? We could run through every patient population from grandmas to babies, from homeless people to millionaires, from nuns to convicts, they all deserve a good nurse. But nurses also have to provide for themselves and potentially their families. Having a good job is nothing you need to apologize for. Your patients deserve a good nurse and you're there for them. Someone else is providing the care for other patient populations, but they're not a better person than you are because of it.  

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

Lord knows we've probably ALL worked with a few nurses that despite being there to "help others" also presented as some pretty terrible people!

[Emergent, RN]

3 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

Lord knows we've probably ALL worked with a few nurses that despite being there to "help others" also presented as some pretty terrible people!

As long as you get the job done and keep the patients safe, it doesn't matter what your opinion of the patient is. Whether you have disdain for the underclass, or you despise the wealthy, or you find repulsive people in all walks of life, you had better not show it. Put on your game face and do a good job.

[BrisketRN, BSN, RN]

You've really got me thinking.  I'm a school nurse at an affluent private school.  I'm not serving an underprivileged population in any way, but when I'm able to use my skills and expertise to help a parent navigating their child's new diagnosis or help a student better manage their chronic condition I feel like a million bucks.  I also feel that my identity is very wrapped up in advocating for community and child health because of extracurricular activities and organizations I participate in during my free time.  I do think there's a fine line between finding joy in using your knowledge for the greater good and thinking you're God's greatest gift to Earth, but most of us have patients who will knock us off that high horse pretty quickly ?