Doctors Say the Darnedest Things

OBnurseFisk · May 4, 2017

"Why did you call CPS on my patient? I'm the Captain of this ship!!"

HburgRN07 · May 4, 2017

Some people are just plain rude! The anesthesiologist came in before my husband's procedure to go over everything. He leans over, looking over his glasses to look at my badge, and asks, "Oh, where do you work?" He said, "A school nurse...so you're like the 'mall cop' of nurses?" Seriously? #blesshisheart

rnsrgr8t · May 4, 2017

I used to work in a pediatrician's practice. The owner of our practice was the only male pediatrician (we had 4 females as well). Summer is a crazy busy time for well physicals. Most the the teenage boys elected to come to our only male pediatrician. He did a lot of teenage boy well exams in the summer. At the end of a busy day, I was collecting all of his charts (this was way back in the day before EMR). They wanted the nurses to check each note to make sure they signed and were done with it before putting it back in the rack. On one particular chart, a teenage girl he had done a well exam on, he put in the GU comments "testes down bilaterally". We had a good laugh over it when I showed it too him with my saying, "I hope not!!!". Any idea what he had been seeing all day? LOL!

ohiobobcat · May 4, 2017

Had a gyn patient present to the ER with a complaint that started "Well, 2 years ago...." and continues to talk for 5 minutes. I tried to redirect her to a shorter story, but she just had a lot to say. I summarized as best I could, finished the triage, and brought her back to a room.

The doctor goes in the room to start the exam and asks her what brought her in today, and I go in as a "2nd" (it was a slow night) and she starts her story. "Well, 2 years ago...." The doctor holds up his hand, says "Wait a minute...". The patients stops talking. The doc grabs a chair, sits down and props his legs up on the stool, and leans back. Looks at the patient "Ok, go on..." The patient is oblivious, and continues her story. I, however, had the leave the room momentarily so I wouldn't get caught laughing.

nursetiffany · May 4, 2017

I had a patient that was going bad on me. I called the doc, proactively did some things and then waited for his orders. While waiting for results he looked at me and said "Did I do everything I was supposed to?" ðŸ˜³

Sued05 · May 4, 2017

Open up I'm going to stick it in. He was talking about a tongue depressor. Ha!

ReadyToListen, CNA, EMT-B · May 4, 2017

Charge nurse: I think [new resident] will catch on quickly, he's done well so far.

Me: Yeah I like working with him so far. He should call you back pretty quick.

Resident (coming off elevator behind a wall): Well good because here I am.

CKAYTHOMAS · May 4, 2017

This has me laughing!!

BabyRN_Mom · May 4, 2017

While working with a Neonatalogist, who was new to our hospital, I explained to him that I could not access an IV site so he asked me to assist me while he looked at this newborn. As he was able to get it, Dr K looked at me and said, "Well, what do you know-how about that?" It was like this was his first time sticking a baby!

audreysmagic, RN · May 4, 2017

(for context, he was talking about stereotyping people on how they look and how it leads to harmful conclusions) "But, be honest - who looks more like a terrorist, him or me?"

CKAYTHOMAS · May 4, 2017

How about when the paramedic intern brings an EKG to the ER doc for his opinion on the interpretation and he looks at the intern with a serious face and says "it means she has very large breasts. Wouldn't you agree?" the paramedic intern's face was white as a ghost! LOL

audreysmagic, RN · May 4, 2017

We had a Lebanese doctor and a Syrian doctor on staff at my place of employment, who were the best of friends, and at the time, relations between the two countries were heating up. The President had issued a statement that advised them to cool it off, and this was in the news...I walked in to find the two of them in the staff lounge, poking each other like small children and saying, "President says you can't touch me!"