We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Working in LTC the ladies go to "beauty shop" every Wednesday. On resident "had" to get a perm and due to this missed a breathing treatment that couldn't be given because her next scheduled one was about 2 hours after she returned. Fax was sent to MD notifying him of why she didn't receive it.
His response "Well I hope she's breathing okay.....and that she is beautiful."
Specializes in neuro/trauma ortho/trauma/mental/chemical dependen.
So I was taking care of an older male who was a large man who was bedridden, incontinent, with Alzheimer. It was my third day with him and the previous two days he adored me so I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary. I go in to see him and find he has tied his oxygen tubing to the side rail so I go in and start to untie it and suddenly the patient is strangling me with my own stethoscope. I eventually get out of it but I'm obviously upset and this patient definitely needs to be restrained and medicated so I call the doctor to get orders. I explain everything and what I feel that I need and I get the response of, " Well why do you need to go near the patient". Needless to say I sat there for a second dumb-founded wondering if I had really heard what I thought I heard or if I had some slight brain damage from lack of oxygen. After a moment I stuttered out because he is my patient and I have to provide care to him. To which I received the response of "Oh Okay" and orders for restraints and medications I had asked for.
We were doing a colonoscopy on a man when we seen written on his bottom "go fishing". After the colonoscopy the Dr was talking to the patient and the patient asked did you find anything?...the Dr said no, but we caught a crappie.
When my mom had to have a sten put in her heart, the surgeon was talking to my brother and I about the dos and don'ts and he mentioned that she needed to quit smoking and my brother asked, well what if she doesn't and the doctor said, without missing a beat, well, then, I'll just pay off my house sooner!!
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I in CCU and was caring for a patient who had an intra-aortic balloon pump, a ventilator and a few more odds and ends of invasive monitoring. The patient was scheduled for a CABG (in the days before interventional cardiology) and the anesthesiologist was there to evaluate the patient. It was just before 7am shift change, and the attending anesthesiologist had shown up instead of one of the residents. He wasn't pleased to be doing the pre-op evaluation himself, and was pretty unpleasant. Finally, he told me to "Sit him up so I can listen to his lungs."
The patient was large, had a tube in every orifice and the big fat line from his femoral artery into his aorta made sitting him up a very bad idea even if I could have managed. Balloon pumps were relatively new then, and it was possible that the anesthesiologist didn't understand the contraindications, so I started to explain that "If you help me roll him over, I'll hold him so you can listen to his back."
The anesthesiologist threw a tantrum the likes of which I have rarely seen, screaming that he was a very important doctor, "Just like Dr. Aardvard (our medical director), and if you wouldn't ask HIM to help you turn a patient, you shouldn't be asking ME."
At that point, I heard a voice over my shoulder -- Dr. Aardvard -- asking, "Ruby would you like me to help you turn that patient?"
In nursing school on a L&D rotation, my patient's lady partsl birth was quickly turning into a c-section situation. The patient was reluctant as that wasn't her birth plan. The doctor said "Rectal incontinence is not something you want for the rest of your life." The patient tore off the O2 mask and yelled "Take me to surgery, now!".
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shlay51
51 Posts
Working in LTC the ladies go to "beauty shop" every Wednesday. On resident "had" to get a perm and due to this missed a breathing treatment that couldn't be given because her next scheduled one was about 2 hours after she returned. Fax was sent to MD notifying him of why she didn't receive it.
His response "Well I hope she's breathing okay.....and that she is beautiful."