Do patients/families that are hostile, rude affect your morale?

[smartynurse]

Do patients and families affect your morale? Have you encountered situations which left you feeling demoralized, insecure or denigrated? For example, how many of you have had family members write down everything you do, from the moment you come in to the room? Do you feel harassed? Are there resources available to you such as debriefing programs, one on one counseling, unit meetings or managerial back up? Does the nursing staff provide support for one another? Or do you just "suck it up", being that the "customer is always right" ? Have you left a facility due to these type of experiences? Do you think this is a problem in the nursing profession?

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

LOL!!!!!! My husband, who is a paramedic, said I should have gone clinical on his butt, and start questioning his mental health thinking this was a hotel! LOL!...Yeah, I should have said..."okay Sir..ummmmm...can you tell me the date? Who is the Pres? The Season? Where are you? Why are you here?"....LOL!!!!!!!!

I think I will use that one next time! :)

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

:yeahthat: I had one patient who was on many different pills and all were either BID, TID, or QID which meant I was in her room alot. She expected me to write down my name, the exact time, and what I was giving her; dosage and all. I was very busy and told her I just didn't have the time but would come back later in the shift and try to write all her meds down (which I did) anyway.

You could always give her the phone number for the medical records dept so she could get a copy of her MAR. You don't have time for that foolishness.

[SmilingBluEyes]

What is it with patients comparing hospitals to hotels??

That's comparing oranges to apples. No comparison.

AH but you are wrong. Many hospitals are trying to project the image of 5-star hotel appearance and service. NO WONDER they (patients---woops "clients"----- and family are so confused).

[Cute_CNA, CNA]

It's not the fact that the patients and families are rude and nasty. It's the fact that I am supposed to accept it and that even if I've been as nice as pie some orificehole from management will call me at home and tell me it's my fault they were rude and nasty.

If there's one thing I've learnt is some people, regardless of pain and sickness are just nasty and there is bog all you can do to diffuse the situation.

So I'd say management are mostly responsible for the rude/nasty patient behaviour as they allow it to happen. The "customer" is always right and you will always be blamed for the doctor not calling back, the TV that maintenance should have fixed, the fact you can't shoot them full of IM demerol, that you didn't heat up a cup of coffee because you had another patient in resp distress, etc.

If I once had a nurse manager who would back me up not just to my face but to the patients/families face as well, I'd feel happier. But I never once have. All I get is, "well I know they're difficult and if I were you I'd have done the same but all the same I need to tell them it won't happen again/our goals are blah blah"

Exactly!!

[RN34TX]

If I once had a nurse manager who would back me up not just to my face but to the patients/families face as well, I'd feel happier. But I never once have. All I get is, "well I know they're difficult and if I were you I'd have done the same but all the same I need to tell them it won't happen again/our goals are blah blah"

So very true. Great post!

Just once, I too would love to see that. They always preach about "hostile work environments" when you first start a new job during orientation, but I guess that always excludes the abuse from families (and physicians for that matter).

[LPN1974, LPN]

AH but you are wrong. Many hospitals are trying to project the image of 5-star hotel appearance and service. NO WONDER they (patients---woops "clients"----- and family are so confused).

Well, that may be image they are trying to put forth, but if and until maids start handing out the pills and changing dressings, I don't think patients are going to get "hotel" service.

Any nitwit with half a brain ought to know that if he/she is sick they need a , not a maid.

But I suppose some nitwits don't have half a brain.

So I guess we are back to giving "hotel" service.

[RN34TX]

Any nitwit with half a brain ought to know that if he/she is sick they need a , not a maid.

And you're assuming that the vast majority of your patients and family members are educated, aware, and reasonable people with common sense because......?????

[shortsteph12]

Just yesterday I had a son of one of my patients come up to the nurses station and very rudely yelled at me because the doctor was not there yet to discharge his father and he had been waiting for two hours and he was sick of waiting. Then stormed off I said I dont even know who that guy is ( until he turned into his fathers room) which he wasn't there because I had been in his dads room right before lunch. Which everybody knows how much lunch breaks we get. I had answered him that I had paged the doctor but she hadn't called me back. The patient had no problems it was explained to him that the doctor was not on to make rounds in the hospital until the afternoon. Another time when on orientation I had taken a 20 min lunch break and my preceptor was "supposed" to be covering my patients when I came around the corner she said " oh good your back room so and so needs pain medication." I walked into a lions den with the mothers grown children pissed as he## at me because there mother was in pain. So assessed her got out the pain medication and gave it. Then while getting out another patients meds the daughter came and literally screamed at me that I know you were at lunch but someone should have been covering your patients (my preceptor who certainally wasn't) and that this will never happen again with so much anger.. Now that I have more experience I would have said yes someone should have been covering my patients obviously wasnt and dont you get a lunch break at your job? The abuse from the families is the worse part of the job... My sister worked in ICU for 6 years and she said she used to get screamed at by people all the time. I dont feel that we are peoples servants Nobody asks questions to the docs... I spend a good time of my day answering peoples questions or taking calls sometimes several family members call me about the same patient I have thought about saying " I spoke to Susie and do you have her phone number I updated her," I am afraid that I will get in trouble.. What does others people think..

[RN34TX]

Nobody asks questions to the docs... I spend a good time of my day answering peoples questions or taking calls sometimes several family members call me about the same patient I have thought about saying " I spoke to Susie and do you have her phone number I updated her," I am afraid that I will get in trouble.. What does others people think..

So true. I got to hear every last complaint/symptom that have been going on for several hours, days, weeks, etc. from vague numbness, pain, dizziness,etc. whatever. Did anyone tell the docs when they made rounds?

Spouses, adult children, etc. sprawled out all over the patients room during MD rounds and no one says a word or volunteers any info on these vague symptoms to the docs. No one asks about x-ray and CT scan results. No one questions meds, treatments, or what lab results mean.

In walks the nurse after the MD is long gone and all of these questions and complaints come flooring in. It's a big enough concern for them to mention to me every time I walk into a room, but not big enough of a concern to tell or ask their doctor. Makes sense to me.

I guess I'll page him yet again. Very inefficient way to use the doctors time.

I've worked for two hospitals that only allowed one designated family member to call the nurses station for "updates" and it was only allowed twice daily max. It worked well. Nurses do not have time to be updating every patients spouse, third cousin, and all four children whenever they feel like calling and badgering us.

But I guess that's all a part of customer service these days.

[JiffyGriff]

Personally, I think the rude families are getting out of hand. I'm about to graduate here in May and I've been working as a nursing aid for about a year now. I've dealt with all kinds of them, the screamers, the transcribers, the passive aggressives, the ones you would swear have a personality disorder.

With the more experience I gained with these types of people the more confrontive I've started being. For example when I first started out I remember I had a patient call me a little f'r when she thought I was out of the room, in reality I was standing behind the curtain writing down her vitals.........I chose to ignore it and informed the charge nurse, as I told the charge nurse one of her family members that had heard me leave the room was sneaking down the hallway with a guilty look on thier face to see if I was telling on them. A little later I stood outside the room as the nurse went in to assess the patient as I wanted to know the reason for what she said........the nurse flat out asked her, he heard you call him a little f'r, do you have reason for that? OMG if I happened to have taken her blood pressure on her FA. Holy crap. The nurses statement, "Listen here, he is not a blithering idiot, we don't allow that kind of people to work here, he can take your blood pressure on your arm, your forearm, your calf, and your thigh.......if he really felt like it he could take it around your neck, but that's not very compatable with patient comfort now is it? Next time before you feel like cussing our staff you might want to consider that they are educated in it a little more than you are." I was amazed, holy crap can't beleive she said that to her. But in most cases I've realized that confronting someone is just what needs to happen and I don't really hesitate to do it anymore. I don't do it in a mean way I just explain the theory behind what's going on and nine times out of ten people will shut up. I was in clinical a few weeks ago, and one of the patients was complaining that they had been waiting for hours to be discharged, it was more like 30 minutes. I said wait a second, let me explain something to you, nursing is all about priority, and the reason your nurse hasn't been in here to discharge you is because she is a few rooms down assessing a patient that just had a sudden onset of chest pain, would you like to tell me that you leaving is more important than a possible heart attack down the hall? That's all it took, he apologized.

I just think if we would start being more firm that people would start being a little more respectful; we let it happen to ourselves by not speaking up, not all the time, but a lot of the time.

I would still like to go to their job one day though and sit across their desk and tell them they don't know $hit about $hit; just to see how they would react at their profession.

[LPN1974, LPN]

And you're assuming that the vast majority of your patients and family members are educated, aware, and reasonable people with common sense because......?????

And you are assuming something about me because........????

I don't see where I indicate I ASSUMED anything.

HOWever, if you want an answer to your most unusual reply to my post, just WHAT was it anyway.....an assumed statement about me, but turned around to masquerade as a question.....then here is my answer...................

I DO think that MOST people are educated, aware, and reasonable.

There are people who are nitwits with half a brain and some of those are patients. It's reality....the world we live in.

But never did I say that ALL were nitwits.

[Mugwump53]

Just consider the source! Are they worth me ruining my day to be upset over? They are usually rude/hostile because of frustration or ignorance. Some of the time, you cannot help them out of either. Some people have to wallow in their frustration and ignorance. It is part of their personality. Just consider the source.