Do patients/families that are hostile, rude affect your morale?

[smartynurse]

Do patients and families affect your morale? Have you encountered situations which left you feeling demoralized, insecure or denigrated? For example, how many of you have had family members write down everything you do, from the moment you come in to the room? Do you feel harassed? Are there resources available to you such as debriefing programs, one on one counseling, unit meetings or managerial back up? Does the nursing staff provide support for one another? Or do you just "suck it up", being that the "customer is always right" ? Have you left a facility due to these type of experiences? Do you think this is a problem in the nursing profession?

[RN34TX]

And you are assuming something about me because........????

I don't see where I indicate I ASSUMED anything.

HOWever, if you want an answer to your most unusual reply to my post, just WHAT was it anyway.....an assumed statement about me, but turned around to masquerade as a question.....then here is my answer...................

I DO think that MOST people are educated, aware, and reasonable.

There are people who are nitwits with half a brain and some of those are patients. It's reality....the world we live in.

But never did I say that ALL were nitwits.

I never said that you claimed that ALL were nitwits.

Sorry for the offensive "unusual" reply. I was being sarcastic, but intended no harm or offense toward you.

Back to topic, I might agree with you that most are aware, educated, and reasonable. Maybe. But out of those, many just don't care, IMHO.

Long before I was ever even a nursing assistant, I visited people in the hospital and followed the rules. Never even questioned them.

Now I get people who are put off, offended, and shocked when I tell them that no, you can't just waltz into a recovery room and visit someone fresh out of surgery still completely out of it and unstable.

Back before I was a nurse, I would never have even asked if I could come into the recovery room. Common sense told me at the age of 19 with no nursing background that the recovery room is probably not a place for me to just walk into and visit. Common sense.

People just think that they are paying customers and that the entire hospital is theirs to take. Next they'll be demanding to watch their loved ones being cut open in the OR suites, with notebook and pen in hand, to catch mistakes that they could take to an attorney.

[Diahni]

How many work situations do you know of where the abuse of workers is tolerated, expected and perceived as part of the job? When a customer in a restaurant is rude to the waitstaff, the boss will intervene. When a patient is intolerable, nurses are expected to swallow it. After a really bad day with a real jerk of a patient and equally jerky wife, the charge nurse says to me, "It must have been the way you presented yourself." I have taken a year off from nursing school to reconsider my choice of a second career. Women have made great strides in the United States, whereas women in many parts of the world are treated very poorly. The culture of nursing with regards to how women are treated remains in the dark ages.

[singe]

One of the worst situations I ever encountered was in PAR after an emergency procedure. I was one of the few people in the department, so when my patient began to be very combative and verbally abusive w/ me, it was upsetting and frustrating-she wouldn't keep her BP cuff on, kept plucking at her IV, and scratched and gouged me w/ her fingernails when I tried to disconnect her EKG electrodes b/4 transferring her to the floor. I did call the attending to see if her mentation was changed from pre-op, if there were dementia issues or whatever, but refused to medicate her in any way to make her easier to control. She wasn't restless or agitated except when I came too close to her. She denied pain, her sats were good-she was just showing me a side of her that maybe she repressed under different circumstances. Found out she'd ben a bartender for about a hundred years, maybe all that time dealing w/ drunkenbehavior left a bad taste in her mouth for humanity in general. It was hard not to be impatient w/ her when I was really trying to help, and I was relieved to turf her to the floor. You can't let any one person make you feel bad, there's so many out there, it'll get to you. All we can do is the best we can. Not everyone will appreciate it.

[OneThunder, BSN, RN]

TRUE - I used to make it a point to use ONE family member as a contact point. All other family members should get their information from this person. Made my life simpler- I could actually spend time on my PATIENTs instead of the telephone. NO>>>>>>> nursing management dictated that we are "sympathetic, concerned, had time to answer questions to all 15 family members>>>>>>' I seriously considered give them her HOME phone number....

[clee1]

LOL!!!!!! My husband, who is a paramedic, said I should have gone clinical on his butt, and start questioning his mental health thinking this was a hotel! LOL!...Yeah, I should have said..."okay Sir..ummmmm...can you tell me the date? Who is the Pres? The Season? Where are you? Why are you here?"....LOL!!!!!!!!

I think I will use that one next time! :)

D@mned great idea!!

[clee1]

I just think if we would start being more firm that people would start being a little more respectful; we let it happen to ourselves by not speaking up, not all the time, but a lot of the time.

:yeahthat:

EXACTLY RIGHT!

People are alot more hesitant to abuse those they know are not going to take it quietly.

Be nice, be professional.... but be FIRM. We are there to take care of the HEALTH needs of our patients, primarily. All other considerations for excessive comfort measures, family information, and hot coffee for visitors are WAY down the priority list. I'll not work for any facility that thinks/acts otherwise.

I am NOT a maid, I am NOT a matre d'hotel; I am a NURSE (to be). I am here to treat illness; not kiss-@$$ ill-mannered brats.

[spidermonkey]

!

[Brita01]

I would still like to go to their job one day though and sit across their desk and tell them they don't know $hit about $hit; just to see how they would react at their profession.

And follow them around, stare over their shoulder and question everything they do. Write it all down and tell them they'll be sued if you don't think they're doing their job right. See how THEY like it.

[FossilRN]

I very much agree with you, working in an ICU the restricted visiting time is a bonus. Also, it is much easier to tell a family member to step out during a procedure or when giving care. I worked in PACU for a stint and didn't have to deal with families but ICU/CCU is my niche. I could never go back to a med sur or telem floor!

We are never going to change the percentage of people that we deal with that are just plain a-holes. I find it draining enough to deal with the patient, all the work and decision making and then have to deal with a difficult family for an extended period of time. I will say that that some families can be very nice and rewarding to know.

It also irritates me that some people think that you have never suffered a hardship in your life just because maybe you have delt with better. I, too, have been on the receiving end of not-so-great care givers and tried to just grit my teeth rather than be a complete p.i.a.

I think that because we are on the front line we just experience the raw emotions of people in a very difficult situation. I remember when I was in high school and working in food service. I used to think that eating must bring out the beast in people because they could be so rude. Then as I gained more life experience I realized this was the tip of the iceburg of dealing with people in general.

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

After 30 years of dealing with patients and patients families I just had to get myself out. Over the years the problem has gotten progressively worse. I think part of the reason is that they are more informed than ever and want to ask questions (which is a good thing) but then they don't understand your explainations or they think they know it all. They get bolder and ruder by the year. I have been doing HH and have found all the patients to be very gracious and friendly. I think being back in their home enviroment has alot to do with it. They've been just wonderful and I'm enjoying my job once again. I do miss the work at the hosp, the co-workers and the docs.

It's just like the saying: "A little knowledge is dangerous". They see something on TV or read about it in Reader's Digest, and suddenly they're experts...and we're blithering idiots. And, yes, the majority of my HH patients I used to care for didn't have a pot to pee in (quite literally) or a window to throw it out of, but they were the first to offer me a glass of water or a cup of coffee.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

There's too many nice ones for the rotten ones to affect my morale.

I've even had other families realize when someone's being a butthead. When i had one pt. scream (yes, scream) at me (when i was an aide) about the fact that we didn't have "down feather pillows", apparently this screaming could be heard through the door. The family next door, soon as i came in the room, said "What an *******, i really hope you all don't get that treatment all the time" Just smiled and said "it's happens sometimes, but i can understand their frustrations since this place isn't as comfortable as home" then focused my attention on their family member.

However, i was laughing inside, since they pretty much said outloud, what i was thinking to myself. :)

[RNgonewild]

Well I have to say that I have been on both sides of the "bed". This week my mother has been in the hospital for a serious operation. I have been a nurse for many years and have put up with most of the situations that everyone has mentioned. And I'm not going to attribute it to poor nursing care or ignorant families. What I see is that in nursing we are generally short-handed, which leads to frustration on both sides of the bed. I have been polite and as inobtrusive as possible, but when I see bleeding from the incision, and respiratory distress, I'm going to call for the nurse, which my mother could not, due to her condition and the call bell being out of her reach. Most families are in a heightened period of stress, due to something they have never come across before, which is the potential loss of a loved one. So I have to think about that when I come upon a situation. As for the other nurse above saying he was going to be confrontational from now on, well I don't think that will enhance his career any. What most of these situations is a nurse being put up against a wall of time and not being able to do everything that is expected of her or him.