Do Mean Girls make Mean Nurses

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Oct 19, 2013

First off, OP thank you for your service to our country.

Sencondly, you are not wrong. There should be zero tolerance for any sort of bullying behavior. But I have yet to see in my multiple years this ever happen.

Even thought there's all sorts of "policies" in place to safeguard against it.

It is sad in any profession of adults that one has to go to work to be undermined every step of the way. However, in the military, you do junk like that and you could lose your life. It is unfortunate that people don't realize that in a hospital if one is so consumed in making a co-workers life miserable, it can come at great cost to the patient. Mesh that with inconsistent practice and policies that are not worth the paper they are printed on and people can and do run far, far away.

CSARmedic · Oct 19, 2013

Is it just me, or did "bullying" just recently become a thing?
I'm not saying that it doesn't really happen, or that it's okay for people to behave that way... but it seems like it's become a buzz word as of late.

I agree entirely only because that I think that nurses have only recently figured out what the problem was and has been. I don't restrict my analogy to just the term bullying as it is also unprofessional conduct and/or just plain rudeness and disrespect. But it all amounts to the same thing (to me).

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Oct 19, 2013

OP I am in complete agreement with you. Nursing attracts that type of person because the profession has people that will put up with their behavior. It's a never ending circle.

Bullies only have power because bystanders don't speak up. It doesn't have to be confrontational. If they're describing an error anyone can pipe up with "we've all made mistakes," or "when you're busy it's so easy to miss things." Try and send the conversation in a new direction, and if everyone gives a gentle nudge things change. Of course some units are entrenched in a bullying culture, and the only solution is to leave.

Coffee bean · Oct 19, 2013

Bullying in my opinion has always been a problem,but with all the resources we have now,internet,Facebook,it's just more public then it has ever been.The bullying commercials make me cringe,saying to myself WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?I walked off my job of 9 years,2 months ago because I was being bullied and management refused to do anything about this particular woman,she had been employed there for 20 plus years and was consistent with her bullying,(there were many others that she bullied).My last week there I decided my career was going to end in one of three ways,I was going to quit,I would be fired,or I would go to jail for physically attacking her,I am not a mean person but this woman had pushed me to the point that I curled my hands in a fist whenever she would get anywhere near me,I dreaded going to work.I had never ever walked out of any job in my 25 years of employment,but I felt I really had no other option.I was told by a former coworker that after I walked out she was reprimanded for bullying other employees,and given extra work to keep her busy so that she wouldn't have so much time to invest in her bullying.Shes a sad sad woman,and I have moved on to bigger and better things!Leaving there was the best thing I've ever done:smug:oh and I sold heavy truck part,my other employees consisted of 99% men,and I never had a problem with any of them.

Retired APRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Oct 19, 2013

Nursing is a female-dominated profession, yes, and I am sure it can be difficult for a man to integrate himself into an estrogen-charged atmosphere. It can also be difficult for people to make mid-life career changes and it can be very difficult for someone who has held a relatively senior position (like First Sergeant) to take on an entry-level role.

I don't think I'm going to surprise you when I say that you sound very angry to me. I'm sorry you left the profession instead of staying and channeling the energy of that anger into effecting a change in what you characterize as "the deceitful and unprofessional behavior which is so predominate in nursing". There is a very strong and active movement among nurses of both sexes and at all levels to move from the "we eat our young" mentality to an anti-bullying mindset. There are is a lot of nursing research going on about bullying in the profession that looks at ways to change the trend.

Unfortunately the one that leaves doesn't get to influence things any more.

proud nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 19, 2013

When I think of mean girls, I think of people who have their little cliques and make it very hard for anyone to fit in. I see this in nursing, but that's only because I'm in nursing. I'm sure it exists in other professions as well.

There is a group of nurses (about 9) on my unit that all graduated from the same college within a year of each other. They are very cliquey, and to me act as though the education they received is superior to others. They look down on anyone who earned their degree from an online college, anyone who doesn't have a BSN or higher, anyone who took the NCLEX more than once, anyone who is trying to move up the clinical ladder.

I've always been my own person, and was never a follower. This scenario is just very annoying to watch. I'm hoping in due time, these ladies will mature.

OP, I understand what you are saying. I also want to thank you for your years of military service.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Oct 19, 2013

Want to take any more leaps there Evil Knievel

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 19, 2013

Are mean girls getting meaner? Teens open up about bullying
Are mean girls getting meaner? Teens open up about bullying - TODAY.com
I just read this article and starting thinking if some (many) of these women will gravitate to nursing. I know that nursing is full of bullies and unprofessional behavior so I got to thinking if there could be a correlation. I mean OF COURSE there is a correlation but nothing based on emperics. Just a hunch and gut feeling. I was basically run out of nursing by these behaviors (I refused to put up with it after a while and the different standards of behavior I was subjected too) but was wondering how many other people experienced it also.

What a sweeping generalization! I question your assumption that nursing is full of bullies and unprofessional behavior. Bullying is a hot topic these days, and some are seeing it everywhere they look -- because they're looking for it. A lot of what I see whined about as "bullying" is nothing more than a negative interaction . . . for which both parties are to blame.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 19, 2013

Is it just me, or did "bullying" just recently become a thing?
I'm not saying that it doesn't really happen, or that it's okay for people to behave that way... but it seems like it's become a buzz word as of late.

You are exactly right!

Altra, BSN, RN · Oct 19, 2013

I'm a bit perplexed at an adult male of middle age, having years of combat experience, using a USA Today article recounting the behavior of 12-14 year old girls as a parallel for his work experiences.

Many vets find there are adjustments needed to flourish career-wise post-discharge/retirement from the service. In the civilian world, rank is a little less clear. Management directives often do not carry quite the same weight as orders from a superior officer. Even in the same line of work, the sense of purpose may be somewhat diminished.

But if you wish to dismiss all that and attribute your lack of acclimation into civilian nursing to "mean girl" behavior ... that is your prerogative.

Thank you for your service, BTW.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Oct 19, 2013

Bullies are going to exist in any profession. It's not a phenomena that is specific to nursing or the female gender. It's not acceptable regardless of where it occurs or the ages/genders of the persons involved.

vera4130 · Oct 19, 2013

The problem with zero tolerance policies is that they become knee jerk reactions.

Anything can be taken as bullying these days. Some people cannot take any sort of criticism and will run to tell anyone who will listen that they're being bullied anytime they get their feelings hurt.

And no one is excluding men from the profession, there just happen to be fewer men in it. I don't think simply adding more men would fix anything. If you think that this is a female or nursing unique problem, remember all the men who stepped on people during their climb up the corporate ladder.