Do i look tasty???

nambour51 · Jun 16, 2006

I can feel your frustration. This sosrt of treatment can seriously undermine your confidence and performance. Try and keep things in perspective. What were the other nurses like? The situation you encountered can occur in any walk of life not just nursing. This nurse may have been having a bad day or may be diffcult even on a good day. The challenge is to learn how to respond without escalating the situation. This can be difficult when you are still trying to establish yourself in a new environment. Hang in there. Think about ways others have encouraged/supported/assisted you, rather than focussing on the one who upset you.

Jupiter Crash · Jun 16, 2006

UGH!! This is a vent and my first posting...
Why do nurses eat their young?????? I am so frustrated!!!! I am a new nurse.... but I am not new to life.. this is my second career path (I am 30 years old and was in the military)... I recently started on a floor and I swear I almost lost it today.... I was seriously almost eaten alive by this one nurse (I was about 10 seconds away from tears)... I just don't get why people think they can stomp over other people.... I would never treat anyone badly.... ever... I think part of the problem is that I look very young... I am also very small so I probably look pretty "tasty."
Have any of you been eaten alive? How did you handle it? Did you say something to the person? Did you go to your director? Share your stories... I need to feel that I am not alone and really kind of looking for advice...
Thanks....

Sorry this happened to you.

I have been chewed out by a superior before, the tears were exercised.

Some do it to newbies other are just that kind of a person. I personally just took it and later after things died down and I felt emotionally ready I approach the person and told them how I felt and calmly and professionally asked what had caused them to act in the manner they did. If you feel that they really crossed the line then you should let a director know. Maybe she was having a horrid day and you just happened to be there and she vented on you.

I hope something in there helped :) Dont feel to bad it happens to everyone

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2006

In what way do you get "eaten"?

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2006

Off topic: Nurses don't eat their young. As you say "I was seriously almost eaten alive by this ONE nurse." Don't generalize her evilness to the entire profession and perpetuate the myth "nurses eat their young".

On topic: I can't say I've ever been eaten alive in the nursing profession. But I have been eaten alive in the restaurant business.

It's hard for new grads to learn to stand up to these bullies and send the message, in a professional manner, that we are not anyone's door mat and there is a way to professionally talk to us. It's a skill you learn with time.

I think when you get your bearings, you need to have a one-on-one with this nurse and say "when you said...........it made me feel..........and I don't appreciate feeling this way. Did you mean this." This will nip future attempts in the bud.

Good luck!

imamommynurse · Jun 17, 2006

Off topic: Nurses don't eat their young. As you say "I was seriously almost eaten alive by this ONE nurse." Don't generalize her evilness to the entire profession and perpetuate the myth "nurses eat their young".
On topic: I can't say I've ever been eaten alive in the nursing profession. But I have been eaten alive in the restaurant business.
It's hard for new grads to learn to stand up to these bullies and send the message, in a professional manner, that we are not anyone's door mat and there is a way to professionally talk to us. It's a skill you learn with time.
I think when you get your bearings, you need to have a one-on-one with this nurse and say "when you said...........it made me feel..........and I don't appreciate feeling this way. Did you mean this." This will nip future attempts in the bud.
Good luck!

Yeah.. I understand what you are saying about generalizing... and honestly I would have said that up until today... It is so funny because literally I have heard so many people saying when I am introduced "oh and don't eat her alive please." To so many people... I wonder how I would be treated if they were not given the instruction to not eat me alive... I have spoken to friends in other hospitals in other states even and they said the same thing... Yes, it is usually a select few... And that can ruin your whole day... You could have 20 people saying you are great but then that ONE person can jack it all up... You are right.. I will say something to her if it happens again... I was in the military for petes sake.. it isn't like I have never had to stand up for myself.. and I know my place... She is not my supervisor... She is a colleague.. She was not having a bad day.. she is always like that... to everyone but her "buddies." But I cannot let someone walk over me... Especially when i try so hard to be nice to everyone... no matter what is going on in my life....

I guess I am just taking it personally when I should not... it is just HER problem with her baggage... I spoke to my hubby today and he basically told me the same thing... take her aside and say that "I am a professional and I don't need to be spoken to in that manner.. If you have a problem with me, lets clear it up so there is no miscommunication in the future.. if you have a problem with me personally and just don't like me that is fine as well... but we can have a professional relationship and do our jobs." or something like that.... I wish I had his cajones though... he has cajones of steel... lol....

LauraF, RN, ASN, CNA, LPN, RN · Jun 17, 2006

I was in clinicals and I got one like that. Except she did not say anything to me or my instructor she went to her supervisor. I was so angry. She had been nice to my face. I told her that I was pregnant and having blood sugar problems, that we were trying to adjust. She kept disappearing, and not getting supplies that I needed to do my job. Thankfully my instructor was there on 3 different occasions when I asked for things, that she turned around and complained were not done. And again thankfully my instructor took up for me. Maybe she and the nurse you encountered were both just having bad days. But I know I will always remember that day, when working with students and new grads. Because I would never do something like that on purpose.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 17, 2006

I will say something to her if it happens again... that.....

It sounds like you're gaining some perspective on things.

I would encourage you to borrow your hubby's cajones and confront her now. By ignoring it and saying something if it happens again you gave her permission to treat you this way and let her know it was o.k. with you, and you are now her doormat. This person needs to know that how she behaved wasn't acceptable to you.

You're giving her permission to do it to you again by waiting for it to happen again.

Guest717236 · Jun 17, 2006

..
it is just HER problem with her baggage... I spoke to my hubby today and he basically told me the same thing... take her aside and say that "I am a professional and I don't need to be spoken to in that manner.. If you have a problem with me, lets clear it up so there is no miscommunication in the future.. if you have a problem with me personally and just don't like me that is fine as well... but we can have a professional relationship and do our jobs." or something like that.... I wish I had his cajones though... he has cajones of steel... lol....

Good insight, good judgement and good plan!!!!!!!!!!

Most of us have been through this foolishness. Stay strong.

She may be confronted at some point. When nurses leave (and in

some situations they do), and management sees a trend in how

this individual affects treats her peers-------she may be history.

There is no excuse for her behavior, period.

imamommynurse · Jun 17, 2006

Thanks you guys... I appreciate your support and encouragement... I will keep you updated on the situation..

epiphany · Jun 17, 2006

Why do we not hear phrases like doctors eat their young or accountants eat their young?

Why, is it time and time again we have new nurses crying in this forum about being harassed by their new coworkers?

If this is an untrue stereotype, why won't this phrase go away?

My heart just goes out to these new nurses who post here - you can virtually feel their anguish, and yet time and time again, they are told to be careful not to stereotype. Why is this happening?

ortess1971 · Jun 17, 2006

I think people have a problem with the general nature of the statement. I think bullying of this nature is still alive and well, however. It's unfortunate that some people feel the need to make others lives miserable. Bullying and hazing were tolerated and in some cases, encouraged for many years. The nice thing is is that these bullies are essentially cowards. This means once you stand up for yourself, they usually slither away and find someone else to snack on. And feel free to talk to a higher up about this-that's the other thing bullies count on, that you'll be too afraid or ashamed to say anything. They need to know that their behavior is unprofessional and unacceptable.