Do you help other students out?

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Ok, maybe the question should be reworded like this:

Is this girl using me to teach her?

I met this older student, she's 32 years old and she has like 2 kids to look after. I was originally friends with another girl, but this 32 year old woman decided to join our group. I only wanted to make 1 friend, instead of sticking to groups, because I have my own study schedule, work schedule, and life etc.. and I didn't want to get into this group pressure thing..

Anyway, this 32 year old woman asked me if I was heading to the library after class, and I said "yes" and she followed me. She then sat next me to in a group table, and then started asking me all these questions on A&P, and BASICALLY RELYING on me to teach her.. I ended up explaining to her all the concepts, and she did not contribute at all, basically she is LAZY to do the READINGS on her her, so she's pretty much reliant on me to teach it to her? lol..

I also felt that it was a waste of time, I could have been working on my assignment or reading my textbook.

I thought that she would study on her own, once we got to the library but NO..

The thing is it feels like she is using me, to teach her. She doesn't even sit next to me in class, and then asks me if I'm going to the library.

I don't know if I have an obligation to TEACH HER and make her pass the course even though she's my classmate.

Today, she asked me again, if I was going to the library...

I'm now thinking that, I can't get INDIVIDUAL STUDY done, because she's basically relying on me to "teach" her the materials, so that she can study them at home.

Am I being selfish or reasonable here?

What do I say to her the next time she asks me if I want to go to the library?

Do I just say " I want to work on my assignment, or I want to study on my own..."

I don't want to tell her at her face that I don't want to study with her..

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I would say, "I haven't decided what I'm doing, yet."

And if she kept asking, I'd keep giving the same non-committal types of answers until she stopped.

It's also perfectly fine to tell her you're more inclined to study alone ...but you don't owe her any explanation, and it's possible she'll try to talk you into becoming part of her duo if she knows your plans.

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That is really annoying... And I have come across little things like that from certain people. I also have a problem with being a little to blunt so after that they stop talking to me haha but ultimately, you are paying a lot to get YOUR education and that needs to come first before being polite...

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Specializes in ICU Stepdown.

You should let her know that you don't have time to go everything with her, and that you have limited time at the library to do a and catch up on your own work, but that she can study (quietly) with you. Anybody should understand that. She might not realize that she's taking advantage of you.

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Put head phones on the next time she sits with you in the library? Or just tell her you study best solo.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

32 years old as an older student. ;). Made me smile. Age/older is relevant. I had 23 year old classmates that did the same thing or at least tried to. I was older than 32 and clearly had an extensive background when I entered nursing school. I did very well academically. I don't mind guiding you in concepts or alternative material to understand a concept. Not my job to teach you.

One 23 year old classmate was excellent. She asked for "directional" help as in where can I find.... If having difficulty she'd say ok for ___ the book says ____ does that mean _____. I apparently had a way of explaining things that helped her "get it" but she always did her reading, answered chapter questions and did our workbooks. It was a pleasure to work WITH her. She was smart enough to not call me "mom" or "mama".

I understand your not wanting to be confrontational or blatantly telling this classmate to bug off. Try being vague. Say you aren't sure what you are doing. If she finds you at the library put in earphones and even if not listening to anything act like you are... Move to another table. Get up and look for a book. Find a crowded section.

I get not wanting group study it doesn't work for me either.

Another classmate was a leech. Drove me batty. Also a major gossip. Subtlety didn't work. Being an "older" student I would use my young son as an excuse. Finally I started making crap up. She didn't get the hint. It became a joke. I told her if she was having a hard time to go to the instructor. Finally I went to my instructors who approached her.

It is not your obligation to teach or tutor classmates. That is what instructors and tutoring centers are for.

I has no issue helping others in occasion if they at least made an effort. At one point I had "office hours" is tell my 25 year old pal that is be at the local library from 10-11:30 on x day with my kiddo if they wanted help. Classmates would drop by for help navigating some of the online resources (library has free wifi whereas school did not). Some were grateful and would buy me a cup of coffee or kiddo a cookie though it was totally unnecessary. By guiding a few classmates I would reinforce my own knowledge.

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Specializes in Postpartum, Mother/Baby, Comm. Health, Geriatric.

Yea "older student" is funny. I'm 28, engaged, with a 1 y/o of my own (18 & 15 y/o step-daughter and son) and some people consider me an "older student" as well. It's cool, I'll take it. I age fine like wine! LOL!

I would simply tell her (the pest) that you are not trying to be mean or rude, but that you study better alone. Some people do not catch hints. And some people just don't give a damn until you tell them in a blunt manner.

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I am 37, and this past academic year attended school full time while also working full time in Special Education. I LIKE to teach, most of the time. IF people are willing to make the effort on their own. I don't mind explaining things over and over, if someone is TRYING to learn. There was a girl in my Anatomy classes who treated me very much like the OP's Pest. The final straw was when she missed class 2 weeks straight (A total of 4 classes), found out there was a test, and texted me to ask me to bring my notes to her at work so she could study. This was at 11:30 at night, which is well past my bedtime. I told her that I needed my notes to study, that she had missed a lot of class material being out for two weeks, and that she needed to go talk to the teacher. Much to my relief she hasn't spoken to me since, even when I've seen her out and about.

OP, don't let someone take advantage of you. Tell your personal pest that if she needs tutoring, she will have to talk to the teacher, because your time in the library is time when you need to study. Some people just can't take a hint, and it has to be stated plainly. Yes, she may never speak to you again, but is that really a bad thing?

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I help people out. I don't mind going over information with someone because I fel like it's another way of studying. If I explain it to someone it helps me to remember it better. I can only do that if I have studied alone first. I don't think age or kids have anything to do with it. I'm 37 with 4 kids. I have passed nursing class studying alone.

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I'm an older student . Personally I'll take my time and help out whomever needs it. It may take some of my time but helping someone out is worth it. In the end your changing someone's life by helping them

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I'll be 31 next month and never thought of myself as an "older" student lol!!! I'm a strong student and help when I can but I've made it very clear that in order for me to be successful I have to study alone. I don't think anyone has taken offense to that and if they have, it isn't my problem. Just let her know you need to study alone to avoid distractions. Maybe point her in the right direction as to where to find answers. I always offer advice on how to study but school is intense and time consuming. You are only responsible for yourself, don't feel bad about that!

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I remember I ran into an old high school friend in my summer school chemistry class. She has two kids and was going through a divorce. I was excited to have someone i knew in the class and took upon myself to email her study tips and things that will help us to pass. I may have went over board because she emailed me back with 'I DONT NEED YOUR HELP." I was a little devastated because I thought we were friends. Anywhoo, later that week a young girl in the class came to me and said "hey lets study." so we would meet twice a week and study. Although I was doing all the talking and reciting the information, i loved it because it helped me study as well. She would say "thank you for helping me." and I would reply back "oh no, you're the BIG HELP." I loved having a study partner , but then again, i love teaching in general lol. In my conclusion, having someone with no children and a lot of free time, like myself, was better for me because we had the same schedule to meet whenever at whatever time.

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