Do you ever say no to calling home?

[Kittery]

I used to when I worked elementary. I would say, "At this time, I don't see a need to call your parents, but you're always welcome to come back if you don't feel better." A second visit will prompt a call, and surprisingly, they didn't always come back!

Now I'm in middle school and it's a lost cause as they will just call from their cell phones if I say no (as we've thoroughly discussed in other threads.) Unfortunately the parents in my community will pick up more often than not even if I state that the student has no symptoms requiring exclusion from school. I sense that some teachers think I call/allow students to call home too often (which yeah, I do) ... but in the same way that teachers send students with silly complaints down because they don't want the parent to come back and say, "Johnny said he asked to go to the nurse and you wouldn't let him and he was really sick when he got home!" ... I don't want to hear "Well my kid said he asked to call me and you wouldn't let him!" ... so I'll call if a student requests to.

Unfortunate effect of our society being over-litigious and also not teaching children that they can tough things out, providing "instant fixes" all the time. How about you? Have you found a good balance or remedy to this?

[SchoolNurseTXstyle]

I do exactly the same thing! Middle school, high socioeconomic community - they all have cell phones. I am not sure if some of the moms ever even leave the parking lot after drop off. It seems like these parents are always ready to pounce for something. I would never deny one of their little darlings a request to call home. I give my opinion, I let them know what I will exclude for and then the decision is up to them. I document as such in my notes. However, I never offer to call for mild symptoms - only if they specifically ask.

Some have gotten into attendance situations where they now have to provide a doctor note for every absence. Their kid, their decision, their time, their money! I have learned to just let it go.

[Farawyn]

NO!!!

It is by far my biggest pet peeve here.

[RatherBHiking, BSN, RN]

When I worked middle school: I'd just say you don't meet the principal's criteria to be excused (vomiting, fever, etc which is also mine but it holds more power if I say principal) but I will call mom in front of you and explain that to your parents and see if they want to pick you up even though it won't be excused. Most wouldn't come to get them. Our students are NOT allowed to call parents to pick them up and if they do (without going through me they get automatic detention) which helps. I rarely will tell kids to return if feeling worse unless I'm truly concerned about something because if they are feeling that bad they will come back anyway. If they do not have a fever and aren't vomiting then they don't go home period unless i can see obvious distress. If word gets out they can go home for a bad cold, stomachache, etc I will have half the school trying to go home. Plus kids need to learn that just because they don't feel good doesn't mean they need to go home. We're raising a generation of whimps otherwise!

[Kittery]

When I worked middle school: I'd just say you don't meet the principal's criteria to be excused (vomiting, fever, etc which is also mine but it holds more power if I say principal) but I will call mom in front of you and explain that to your parents and see if they want to pick you up even though it won't be excused. Most wouldn't come to get them. Our students are NOT allowed to call parents to pick them up and if they do (without going through me they get automatic detention) which helps. I rarely will tell kids to return if feeling worse unless I'm truly concerned about something because if they are feeling that bad they will come back anyway. If they do not have a fever and aren't vomiting then they don't go home period unless i can see obvious distress. If word gets out they can go home for a bad cold, stomachache, etc I will have half the school trying to go home. Plus kids need to learn that just because they don't feel good doesn't mean they need to go home. We're raising a generation of whimps otherwise!

Believe it or not, detention doesn't really exist in my school! And if parents pick up, the absence is excused even if the student doesn't meet exclusion criteria. I guess I need more of a culture change than anything, but that's not gonna come from me.

[tining, BSN, RN]

I tell them like the others - you don't have anything to send or call home for, but since you are concerned (or mom said call if you go to the nurse) I will call your mom in a little bit, but go on back to class for now. I do call parent and tell them they are good enough for school and are back in class, if they return I will call you back. This usually stops the "I am on my way" and if they are on the way then they have to go through the attendance office for an unexcused early release.

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

I tell them like the others - you don't have anything to send or call home for, but since you are concerned (or mom said call if you go to the nurse) I will call your mom in a little bit, but go on back to class for now. I do call parent and tell them they are good enough for school and are back in class, if they return I will call you back. This usually stops the "I am on my way" and if they are on the way then they have to go through the attendance office for an unexcused early release.

I have done pretty much the same thing.

However, I do have a few students that ask to call their parent (all the time!) who are frequent fliers and have no medical need to be dismissed. I have a good relationship with the parent(s) and know the parent(s) does not want me to call unless I really need to. (Sometimes the parent has already called me that morning telling me they have a feeling their son/daughter might be visiting me but was fine at home.)

With those students, I explain there is no medical need to call their parent at this time, but if needed we can reach out together for a check-in at lunch, so that the student isn't missing class time. Most of the time, those student return to class and are good for the day. Sometimes they do return at lunch and we call together, they have that check-in with no missed classwork and they finish the school day no problem.

[fetch, BSN, RN]

Just now I had a student who bit the inside of his right cheek yesterday, and did the left cheek today. Rinsed mouth, no bleeding, yadda yadda . . . as I'm getting ready to send him back he asks "aren't you going to call my mom??"

Um NO.

In general though I try to follow a similar path as tining says. Send them back to class and call the parents afterwards. Unfortunately for most students if the parent puts "sick" on the sign out sheet the attendance clerk will mark it excused, whether or not I really think they need to go home.

[CalNevaMimi, LPN, LVN]

"You are not E.T. You may not phone home." Nah, they probably wouldn't get it. My standard line for certain situations is, "This student does not meet the criteria for a phone call to parents at this time." I also tell kiddos who appear to be just fine that if they don't have a fever, they can stay at school -- I tell them this before I take their temperature. That works beautifully with elementary school-aged kids. It makes for a quick trip in and out of this busy office. For the myriad of stomach aches that equal "can't poop" I write back to the teacher "no fever, restroom issue." That helps big time.

[kidzcare]

I often tell the kids no to calling home.

If a student says "My mom said you should call if I come to the nurse's office" I will call and say that to the parent. ex- "Susie is here in my office complaining of [xyz]. She says she let you know about it this morning. There is no [fever, swelling, other objective symptom] but she told me that you had requested I call if she came to the office. Usually that is when the parent says "Um, no. She is fine. Have her go back to class please" or "Oh, my poor, sweet child!!! I'll be there as fast as I can!!!" At that point, it is the parents' call.

If a student requests to use my phone I tell them that the rules of using my phone are that they can call home and report how they are feeling. They HAVE to say that they don't have a fever and they CANNOT say "come pick me up", "I wanna go home", or anything that means those words. Also, once mom or dad has made a decision, that decision is final-- no arguing. And then I sit next to them while they call. I have had a few students that are no longer allowed to use my phone after violating my TOS. :)

[kidzcare]

Also, I designed new passes with little checkboxes for

__No/small breakfast

__No fever

__No vomiting

__Rested

__Called home

so the teachers can see that i did not simply turn the student away.

[SnugglePuggle, MSN, RN]

I am in a Middle School. The policy here is that student may not call home due to illness. They can, however, come to the clinic and request a call home. If I feel they really need to go home I call myself. If a student comes to me with issues that do not warrant dismissal - No fever, vomiting or diarrhea - I use some judgement. If it is a student the I have never laid eyes on, has great attendance, and appears to be in discomfort, I usually will call home, report my assessment and let the parent make the decision - I generally excuse them. If it is one of my regulars or one who is absent regularly, and they have no medical documentation of a health concern, I will not offer to call home. I hate to say that I operate this way but this is a classic situation of the "Boy who cried wolf". If the student insists that I call home anyway, depending on the kid I often allow them to use the clinic phone to call. I make them fully aware that if the parent chooses to pick them up that it will not be excused and the parent is informed of this as well. Our policy states that only the school nurse can excuse a student from school due to illness. So it is MY call.