Disrespected by a fellow nurse

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

Was coming off my shift tonight, trying to wrap everything up on a heavy day, as usual. A new admit comes in and the drop off ER nurses were asking for the nurse that was going to take the patient so they could give her report -- and report on drips on other what seemed like more complicated issues.

I went and got this nurse, told her the nurses were here to give her report, and she then proceeded to bite my head off. "Why can't You do it?" She snapped. I told her I was sorry, but I'm going off shift and this IS your patient coming in. It was not a patient of MINE that I was handing to her -- it was an entirely new admit.

Later I approached her and told her it hurt to have her be so harsh over this matter. She immediately tore into me saying that I was being rude to her, that I should have been able to "take the report," and then she started in about how some of the night nurses complain that I pass work on . . . which seemed to me to be an entirely separate issue.

All I could follow was that she felt I should have taken the report, and done what? I dont

't know -- it was HER patient for the night shift!

This nurse has never liked me and I know that. But her manner of communication was to completely tear into me, and as soon as I tried to explain myself, she turned her back on me and walked off. This is typical for her -- seems to be a "cultural" thing -- which I don't get, I'm sorry.

You can have your "cultural" behaviors -- but some behaviors are just plain RUDE and immature -- as is turning your back on someone as they are trying to explain themselves and open up lines of communication to resolve the matter.

Anyway, I really, really want to bring this up to someone in management. I just absolutely am not going to tolerate someone, a fellow nurse on my unit, treating me that way. I can take jabs, I can take teasing, I can take a lot -- but I am not going to take someone treating me this way.

Fellow nurses, all I can say is when coming onto a new shift, realize that nurses may have worked very hard that day, and to tear into them for something without even giving them the benefit of a doubt is just passive aggressive nonsense. Just makes me SO mad that anyone would treat another co-worker so rudely.

But I really want to lodge a complaint against her -- one because it is wrong, and two, because I don't want to tolerate it. I don't believe that sort of behavior belongs in the workplace. What exactly should I do?

1 Votes
Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

You really need to learn how to stick up for yourself. You can do one of two things: 1. you can report her. 2. you can tear right back into her the next time she snaps. You were going off shift, she could have taken report. Next time she asks why can't you take report, say you are leaving and walk away. Don't give her time to even react. I don't like confrontations but I have been in a couple where the other nurse felt she had every right to tear into me like that nurse tore into you. Well, I let her have it and tore back into her and she never talked to me like that again because I told her that I wasn't going to tolerate it.

1 Votes

I was peeved at someone who turned their back on me while I was talking to them and walked away. Because of the context of the situation I reported it. Later on I found out that this person was receiving psych care. Might have explained the behavior.

1 Votes
Specializes in Emergency Medicine.

You are describing a situation and problem that has been going on for ages.:chuckle

Disrespect? Whatever dude. You're not going to get along with everyone you work with....ever.

I see your point with respect to her receiving report instead but that makes sense, right?

To actually get a clear report from the person that was actually taking care of the patient rather than second-hand information from you after the fact.

HATE the end of shift transfers? We all do. I just wish we in the emergency room could blow off the hordes of people that are coming through the front doors ALL TIME like the floor does. Not ready for report? Need a few minutes... 10...15...30. (but I digress):banghead:

The problem is that direct confrontation will lead to hurt feelings and a hostile work environment. Trust me on this one. I say that if she isn't up to the task of receiving a quality report. Take it yourself and omit all the fine details. Just gather the who, what, where, why and leave the rest to the 1st hour and a half for her to figure out because she was too busy to take the report directly when she took the floor.

SURE! it's a passive-aggressive approach but it is poetic in its results. It makes the beginning of her shift hell and it only costs you less than a 2 minute report from the ER. You can go home smiling because you know that you work SMARTER not HARDER.

Good luck with that...

1 Votes
Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

You have to do what you feel is right for you. If you feel speaking with management is the best option, go with that.

1 Votes
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

I would recommend that if you are having ongoing communication issues with this woman, that you make an appointment with your manager to have a sit down between the three of you with the goal being that you will come out of this meeting with a better way to communicate and meet the needs of the patient. My first question is why are patients being brought up at change of shift? Is this normal? On my unit, we try to avoid this but when it occurs, I take the report and then pass it on to the oncoming nurse who is in the process of getting report already on her other patients when the new pt arrives. I don't call her out of report to get report on this one. But everyone does this different.

1 Votes
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

If and only if you decide to pursue it, write down exactly what happened: date, pt arrival time, other nurse already clocked in, you were on verge of leaving. Do is dispassionately, strictly professional description. Describe her reaction, put her words in quotes if you can, and own your own statements. That means saying "I do not appreciate being spoken to in what feels like an accusatory tone of voice, nor being ignored when I attempted to discuss the situation with her. While I was answering her complaint, she turned and walked away as I was speaking. This is creating a hostile work environment, when I do not feel that I can speak reasonably and professionally to the nurse I am reporting to." You haven't called her any names, or attributed any motives to her; simply described what happened and your own reactions.

Or blow it off, if she isn't worth any more of your time.

1 Votes
Specializes in A myriad of specialties.

I feel that you DID stick up for yourself but are obviously still upset about it--it is NOT preofessional behavior--I'd go to management too!

1 Votes
Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.

If it were me I would have bitten her head off. LOL Its my Spanish temperament. But honestly just let it go. you don't know if she had a bad day or had just gotten bad news. Yes it wasn't professional behavior and yes if it happens again then report her but its not really worth your time imo.

1 Votes
diane227 said:
I would recommend that if you are having ongoing communication issues with this woman, that you make an appointment with your manager to have a sit down between the three of you with the goal being that you will come out of this meeting with a better way to communicate and meet the needs of the patient. My first question is why are patients being brought up at change of shift? Is this normal? On my unit, we try to avoid this but when it occurs, I take the report and then pass it on to the oncoming nurse who is in the process of getting report already on her other patients when the new pt arrives. I don't call her out of report to get report on this one. But everyone does this different.

From my own experience, having to discuss a matter such as this in the presence of the manager is a very bad thing. One party will most likely feel attacked and immediately become defensive; the other will also feel uncomfortable. Let's face it, if the other nurse were mature and reasonable, this would have never happened.

A better approach would probably be for you to talk to the manager in private; s/he can then choose whether she wants to talk to the other nurse as well. A much less threatening approach if you want to involve the manager.

I don't think your speaking to this nurse about this issue again will do you any good as she has already demonstrated that she cannot discuss matters in a professional way. Unfortunately, every unit has bad apples (I'm starting a new job next week and am already dreading that part! I won't even know yet who to look out for, LOL).

Good luck to you!

DeLana

1 Votes
Specializes in jack of all trades.
DeLana_RN said:
From my own experience, having to discuss a matter such as this in the presence of the manager is a very bad thing. One party will most likely feel attacked and immediately become defensive; the other will also feel uncomfortable. Let's face it, if the other nurse were mature and reasonable, this would have never happened.

A better approach would probably be for you to talk to the manager in private; s/he can then choose whether she wants to talk to the other nurse as well. A much less threatening approach if you want to involve the manager.

I don't think your speaking to this nurse about this issue again will do you any good as she has already demonstrated that she cannot discuss matters in a professional way. Unfortunately, every unit has bad apples (I'm starting a new job next week and am already dreading that part! I won't even know yet who to look out for, LOL).

Good luck to you!

DeLana

I'm with Delana's advice on this one. Also it all depends on your manager. Is she one that listens to both sides and stay objective? Or does she tend to side. Maybe start off asking her what the policy is on transfers at shift end first and go from there with the conversation. Make it a "I"m not sure how to handle this situation, what would you recommend?" so that she is aware you are willing to attempt to resolve it on your own with her knowledge.

1 Votes

This has happened a few times where I work. Each time I did report it to the Nurse manager. Her response was always a story about her experiences in a much more difficult incident than I experienced. Not much help but be aware that others are aware of this nurses attitude and I'm sure she is not well liked. Best thing to do is stand your ground, smile and say "have a nice day". These people are everywhere!!! Don't let it get to you.

1 Votes
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