Disrespected by a fellow nurse

[SoundofMusic]

Was coming off my shift tonight, trying to wrap everything up on a heavy day, as usual. A new admit comes in and the drop off ER nurses were asking for the nurse that was going to take the patient so they could give her report -- and report on drips on other what seemed like more complicated issues.

I went and got this nurse, told her the nurses were here to give her report, and she then proceeded to bite my head off. "Why can't You do it?" She snapped. I told her I was sorry, but I'm going off shift and this IS your patient coming in. It was not a patient of MINE that I was handing to her -- it was an entirely new admit.

Later I approached her and told her it hurt to have her be so harsh over this matter. She immediately tore into me saying that I was being rude to her, that I should have been able to "take the report," and then she started in about how some of the night nurses complain that I pass work on . . . which seemed to me to be an entirely separate issue.

All I could follow was that she felt I should have taken the report, and done what? I dont

't know -- it was HER patient for the night shift!

This nurse has never liked me and I know that. But her manner of communication was to completely tear into me, and as soon as I tried to explain myself, she turned her back on me and walked off. This is typical for her -- seems to be a "cultural" thing -- which I don't get, I'm sorry.

You can have your "cultural" behaviors -- but some behaviors are just plain RUDE and immature -- as is turning your back on someone as they are trying to explain themselves and open up lines of communication to resolve the matter.

Anyway, I really, really want to bring this up to someone in management. I just absolutely am not going to tolerate someone, a fellow nurse on my unit, treating me that way. I can take jabs, I can take teasing, I can take a lot -- but I am not going to take someone treating me this way.

Fellow nurses, all I can say is when coming onto a new shift, realize that nurses may have worked very hard that day, and to tear into them for something without even giving them the benefit of a doubt is just passive aggressive nonsense. Just makes me SO mad that anyone would treat another co-worker so rudely.

But I really want to lodge a complaint against her -- one because it is wrong, and two, because I don't want to tolerate it. I don't believe that sort of behavior belongs in the workplace. What exactly should I do?

[NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN]

I've learned to pick my battles, sometimes it's worth it to report. It sounds like she was just whining randomly. Write down the date/time and exact words said and any witnesses. Keep it in a file. When you lodge a complaint it's more worthwhile when it's occurred several times versus just a one-time incident.

[SoundofMusic]

Thanks for all your replies.

I actually was in this a.m. to turn in some other papers, and just decided to sit down with my manager and talk to her about it. She listened fine and got the facts. The fact that it was NOT my patient to receive during change of shift was key. If I had been assigned that patient, it definitely would have been my responsibility to take report -- but it wasn't. The offgoing nurse should have taken the brief report and then given it to her once she was done listening to her report. I guess my only fault is that I bothered her during report. I should have found the responsible nurse who was assgined to the patient.

But instead of just asking me to go find the offgoing nurse, this nurse just bit my head off. She's pregnant and they say she gets testy when she's pregnant -- well, sorry -- that's a personal issue and not appropriate to make everyone else suffer for it. I feel it's a personal thing and she hasn't liked me much since I've worked on the unit - but whatever. I'm not out to get everyone to like me, but I sure as heck am not going to be disrespected to such a degree over such a small thing.

I felt my manager was fair and she said she'd talk to her. We'll see what happens. Whatever -- I'm not going to play doormat.

Why people have to be so nasty is beyond me.

[lpnonline]

Well I would just walk away and ignore it. People has some bad days and good days and my rule of thumb is If there is anything that I can do I do it. So in this case, you can just handle it because you can and not bother to figure out if it is her duty or not.

I find that being right is not always the same as being at peace and getting a lot less stress.

If you are continuing to be nice to her -- something good will be bounce back to you.

[rn-jane]

I think when you go to the manager things can get out of control. People feel like they have been tattaled on and bad feelings can really develop whether it's in a conference with both of you or in private. I think you need to sit down with this nurse and say I don't appreciate being talked to in that manner. Perhaps you can have another nurse give an objective opinion during the conversation, about the situation and what she expects you to do. I would pick someone that both of you trust such as the head nurse or a senior nurse. Stick up for yourself. Face it even though our shift may end, our workload will overlap and it has to be passed on the oncoming nurse. Granted if a patient is having trouble, docs need called that is your job to see things through but the er should be giving report to her the oncoming nurse and like one said instead of second handed.

[SoundofMusic]

Well, unfortunately, I had to "tattle" on her, because she proved to me she was unable to communicate with me appropriately to resolve the issue. Therefore, I had to take it to the manager. I don't really care -- let the manager deal with her -- because that's the only way it will get through.

I believe every nurse has an obligation not to blow their top, to speak to everyone with basic respect, to make requests in a professional way. Anything else is just purely immature and either bullying or disrespectful. Too many nurses I see out there just think they can bulldoze.

This particular nurse I feel just hates her job anyway. She's cross and complaining a LOT, she has never tried to be friendly or to get to know me in any way. We've worked together for almost 2 years now and it's no way to treat another staff member. I honestly don't care what comes of it -- I've just had it.

[kittykatty]

Just ask her to step out in the parking lot for awhile.