Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

I think they're really scrambling to shut Davey up and maintain the status quo. Davey now has to hold their feet to the fire and try not to get too scorched.

The word "scrambling" brings to mind something Jason Hiney RN said to me. And, like my high school sweetie use to say, "If I've already told you this story, shut up and let me tell you again!":

A patient who was on anticoagulant therapy suffered fall trauma in the dayroom on geriatric psych back around December 2018, and bled from her nose like a stuck pig. ER could not get the bleeding stopped and the patient was evaced to a major St. Louis hospital and diagnosed with anticoagulant toxicity.

I don't know all the specifics, but there was the threat of a lawsuit, or something, blaming Wrongway. Part of the blame was because the patient's entire body looked something like one big bruise and I believe the receiving hospital was alleging Wrongway's responsibility.

Jason was a House Sup at the time and he told me, "We were scrambling around for disproving evidence". It turned out that I had admitted the patient and in my narrative admission note, I had documented the skin condition and had asked the patient if this condition was typical. The patient affirmed that this condition was status quo.

It was after a meeting, and after I had sent an email to Mia requesting that she not use profanity in a mandatory inservice, that approached ma she gave a vague synopsis and stated, "Your documentation saved our a**!"

When it comes to me and what I do, I like to know that administration is scrambling.

2 Votes
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
5 hours ago, RNNPICU said:

I forgot to quote this. I think this is an excellent strategy. I think that Wrongway has been trying to stall this and table it further because they still want to keep you, but at the same time do not want to deal with any infractions.

Again wishing you all the best

Agree with this also, that is always the MO, stall until next week, repeat until said person goes away

5 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

I agree with this. I think they're really scrambling to shut Davey up and maintain the status quo. Davey now has to hold their feet to the fire and try not to get too scorched.

Agree, they are probably stalling until Davey either quits or quits sending complaints. Although I am sure they are also simultaneously getting all their ducks in a row due to the specific complaints of hostile environment etc. They will then have a paper trail (in case of a lawsuit etc) and can say that they offered meetings to address the issues etc. Good thing Davey also has a paper trail!

3 Votes
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
3 hours ago, Davey Do said:

I don't know all the specifics, but there was the threat of a lawsuit, or something, blaming Wrongway. Part of the blame was because the patient's entire body looked something like one big bruise and I believe the receiving hospital was alleging Wrongway's responsibility.

Jason was a House Sup at the time and he told me, "We were scrambling around for disproving evidence". It turned out that I had admitted the patient and in my narrative admission note, I had documented the skin condition and had asked the patient if this condition was typical. The patient affirmed that this condition was status quo.

It was after a meeting, and after I had sent an email to Mia requesting that she not use profanity in a mandatory inservice, that approached ma she gave a vague synopsis and stated, "Your documentation saved our a**!"

When it comes to me and what I do, I like to know that administration is scrambling.

Seems like admin is always scrambling but IMO usually for the wrong reasons. If they were proactive instead of reactive there probably wouldn't be so many lawsuits.

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
23 hours ago, Davey Do said:

I do not believe that a short, scheduled last minute meeting with HR can, or will, resolve these paramount matters and I base my belief on the above documentation.

Therefore, I am respectfully requesting that a higher level official, such as Ted Bumblingham, CEO, oversee this resolution process.

I also request that copies of all of our email correspondence be forwarded to Mr. Bumblingham.

1 hour ago, Daisy4RN said:

Good thing Davey also has a paper trail!

Speaking of paper trails, I put together a nice eight page chronological packet and faxed it to the CEO with a cover letter basically stating that I thought he may want to be aware of these situations.

When we are motivated by intuition, we need to follow that higher form of reasoning. I was motivated to put together the packet but was unsure of the reason.

I took a break from all this to shovel about a 1/2 ton of rock to smooth out my driveway and thought this: Informing the CEO will prove my attempt in resolving these matters by reaching out to the highest administrative official. Informing the CEO also goes over the HR Director's head and should slow her down a bit and simultaneously call her to task.

Jason Hiney RN has told me, that when he was a House Sup and would sit in on administrative meetings, the CEO would sometimes tell the other administrative officials, in no uncertain terms, that they needed to do their jobs.

If it should so happen on the off chance that my criteria for accepting work assignments is met, I believe I might just seriously consider returning. After all, I do enjoy being a nurse. I merely desire to work in a safe, relatively BS free workplace.

And making good money causes me to feel secure.

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
10 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

Seems like admin is always scrambling but IMO usually for the wrong reasons. If they were proactive instead of reactive there probably wouldn't be so many lawsuits.

Yeah, Daisy.

The administrators cause me to think of them as a bunch of kids trying to put out fires.

4 Votes
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
20 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Yeah, Daisy.

The administrators cause me to think of them as a bunch of kids trying to put out fires.

Why did I just get a mental image of flaming bags of dog poop? And management frantically trying to stomp them out.

2 Votes

Just out of curiosity, DD, could there be viable alternative places of employment for you?

2 Votes
Specializes in Dialysis.
4 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

Why did I just get a mental image of flaming bags of dog poop? And management frantically trying to stomp them out.

You just caused me to have a fit of giggles!

3 Votes
Specializes in PICU.
6 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Yeah, Daisy.

The administrators cause me to think of them as a bunch of kids trying to put out fires.

Well... they are in a sense. They know that the issues you raise are significant, yet really do not like having to deal with adversity or anything that rocks the happy boat. They may not be truly equipped or trained to deal with issues such as this, especially when it is someone's "golden child". I mean who do you let go... the one who has friends in "high" places or the one with friends in"low' places.

4 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
16 hours ago, caliotter3 said:

Just out of curiosity, DD, could there be viable alternative places of employment for you?

Yeah, I've got a few places in mind that are within 10 to 20 minutes away, caliotter. That's really good, bearing in mind that I travel at least 10 minutes of country roads before reaching a major thoroughfare. One is a brand new Dementia Care facility that's is located at the end of the country road and major thoroughfare. The other is a LTC facility that caters to psych clients. Anomaly Memorial, that's 20 minutes away, has a geriatric psych unit.

If and when I leave Wrongway, I'll probably want only PRN or part time employment. I'm ready to retire.

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
10 hours ago, RNNPICU said:

I mean who do you let go... the one who has friends in "high" places or the one with friends in"low' places.

I really like the way you worded that, RNNPICU, and chuckled when I read it.

I'm thinking part of the criteria for me to return to Wrongway will be that I will not have to deal with Clark, unless other criteria is met.

So it's not a case of "either he goes, or I go", it's a case of "either he jumps through the P&P hoops or I go".

There was something else I was going to say but now I've forgotten.

Senior Moment.

2 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

"IMPRUDENT PRIORITIES"

I came up with this phrase, that I plan to use PRN, to describe administration's, and especially HR's, take on Wrongway's workings.

Last August, I had a thread titled something like "Called Down to HR", which basically was about being written up for propping the new nurses station door open with a wastecan, so that I could hear out into the hallway.

I had to meet with RoofElmo and Ricky from HR after what I verbalized at least three times...

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I attended the meeting and full color photos were shown of me propping the door open. And I must say, as I did then, "The camera really does add on 10 lbs!"

I argued that around that time I had been attacked by a patient in the quiet room adjacent to the nurses station, had called for assistance, but no one came to my aid.

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My argument didn't matter. I was still reprimanded.

I feel unsafe due to administration's imprudent priorities which meets criteria to quit a workplace and receive unemployment benefits.

1 Votes
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