Disrespect & Profanity

Nurses General Nursing

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I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:

I believe:

Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.

Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"

It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.

My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.

In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".

"Bullhockey!" say I.

In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.

I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"

Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".

I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"

Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.

What do you think?

do you guys all work together or something?

or did I just miss out on an important part of the thread?

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
6 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

Well, it ain't over till it's over. At this point, Davey, if they don't fire you, it's going to be so anticlimactic. Either way, some of us are very proud of you because colleagues like you don't grow on trees.

Your words warm my heart, TriciaJ.

I'm in a rather precarious place and I know it. I now have a confirmed reason for resigning and getting unemployment benefits when Rita wrote "your apprehensions". Fear at work is a justifiable reason to quit and be found eligible for benefits, however, I will need to prove grounds for my feelings of fear. That shouldn't be too hard, but if I get fired, Wrongway has to prove there was a just cause for my termination.

The precarious position is that if I do too well and win the case against Clark, I will have the opportunity to return to work at Wrongway. I've pretty much decided that that's not what I want to do- fight a never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way. I feel like I'm ready to hang up my guns and quit.

I was so intent on responding to your first paragraph that I didn't careffully read your last, TriciaJ!

6 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

I hope you're not planning to go quietly. Do you have a union? Please do file for unemployment and wrongful termination. Just as hobbies while you get used to retirement. Of course if they're rotten enough to reinstate you, you'll have to quit after all.

I am sure of this: whatever happens will ultimately work out in your favour.

You, Daisy Hoosier, NurseBlaq, and others have been such a great source of perspectives, support, feedback and I want you to all know how much this means to me. Without you all, this would have been a lot more of a struggle.

I don't plan to go out quietly, but when that battle is over, I'm not going to be a John Wilkes Booth.

No union, but I'm going to request EAP's presence, only if to attempt to throw a stumbling block in Rita's path of progress.

Specializes in Dialysis.
6 hours ago, caliotter3 said:

And may Clark step on his tie!

I gotta funny feeling that his tie is small. He makes himself important in this way. Cocky little jerk!

Specializes in Dialysis.
8 minutes ago, SansNom said:

do you guys all work together or something?

or did I just miss out on an important part of the thread?

Not that I'm aware of. We're from different locations and specialties. But we've supported each other through ups and downs and have shared stories that we hope will help others. It's the best kind of support system!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
13 minutes ago, SansNom said:

do you guys all work together or something?

or did I just miss out on an important part of the thread?

THIS is great and I'm laughing as I type this!

No, SansNom, we don't work together, but we are, if I may be so bold as to say, very good virtual friends.

I loved your post!

Specializes in PICU.

Davey Do:

Just wishing you all the best. I would be interested in hearing how your other co-workers have responded. I have found your responses to Rita to be very clear, succint, and detailed. I apprecited that you did not use specific names, rather titles and roles. Using those terminology make the situation even more real. Especially because when you are using roles you are defining authority which, in the case of the CPI examples, a CPI is an authority to give information that is to be followed.

Unfortunately I think this situation will not end in your favor, sigh. Hopefully others will also stand up and speak out as well.

I am wishing you best wishes and look forward to seeing your posts.

Specializes in PICU.
37 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

No union, but I'm going to request EAP's presence, only if to attempt to throw a stumbling block in Rita's path of progress.

I forgot to quote this. I think this is an excellent strategy. I think that Wrongway has been trying to stall this and table it further because they still want to keep you, but at the same time do not want to deal with any infractions.

Again wishing you all the best

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
58 minutes ago, SansNom said:

do you guys all work together or something?

or did I just miss out on an important part of the thread?

The best thing about this forum is being able to support one another without getting targets painted on our own backs.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
21 minutes ago, RNNPICU said:

I forgot to quote this. I think this is an excellent strategy. I think that Wrongway has been trying to stall this and table it further because they still want to keep you, but at the same time do not want to deal with any infractions.

Again wishing you all the best

I agree with this. I think they're really scrambling to shut Davey up and maintain the status quo. Davey now has to hold their feet to the fire and try not to get too scorched.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, RNNPICU said:

Unfortunately I think this situation will not end in your favor, sigh. Hopefully others will also stand up and speak out as well.

I knew I'd be reminded of someone specific when I said "and others" in voicing my appreciation in an earlier post and, dagnabit, you are most definitely one to who I was referring, RNNPICU!

Thank you, as always for your kind words and support, RNNPICU. As far as "will not end in (my) favor", I see a few probable outcomes: 1) I get what I want: "my concerns are validated and addressed and I am reasonably sure that I will be respectfully treated while working in a safe, non hostile environment where established laws, codes, guidelines, policies and procedures are enforced". 2) I'm terminated and receive either unemployment or social security benefits. 3) I resign and get benefits.

I'm okay with all probable outcomes and will attempt to be Zen about any one.

Que sera sera.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, TriciaJ said:

The best thing about this forum is being able to support one another without getting targets painted on our own backs.

Yes, TriciaJ.

And I want everybody to be aware of the fact that "all characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental".

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, RNNPICU said:

I think this is an excellent strategy. I think that Wrongway has been trying to stall this and table it further because they still want to keep you, but at the same time do not want to deal with any infractions.

The EAP stumbling block.

Yeah, thanks. No matter what they do, even if "my concerns are validated and addressed and I am reasonably sure that I will be respectfully treated while working in a safe, non hostile environment where established laws, codes, guidelines, policies and procedures are enforced", I am not going to make it a cakewalk for them.

Newton's Third Law of Motion.

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