In the news this week, a newborn was found in a ditch at around 6 a.m. naked buy still covered in bodily fluids. It was around 20 degrees here when this baby was found.
HOW does this happen?
The mother for lack of a better word has not come forward yet. The police are saying they are not interested in pressing charges at this time.
I don't understand for the life of me how someone can bring a life into this world and then just toss the child into a ditch...no blanket, no bath...nothing
Even if she were very very young, most 10-11 yo girls won't even put a pet out in this frigid weather...so how does one toss a baby out?
I'm glad I wrote my post... but I disagree will whomever stated the some of rich use it as a form of b.c. between getting their nails manicured- I think, that opinion is simply narrow-minded. Passion should not over rule reason and common-sence. A child is not created from conception, a child is born and should be born loved. It is the child's quality of life is at issue and should be the paramount of this disscussion. Women should not be chained down to be baby machines and simply be forced into motherhood because of rape, failed b.c. or societial pressure to be a mommy. Families should have choices- to have and keep, to have and give away or not to keep, without the fear of judgement and perscution. I've seen adoption painted as some wonderful thing and I'm sorry, I'm going to burst your bubble its not-- I've been told otherwise.I once thought adoption was wonderful and even thought of doing it myself but the friends I have talked to only one said it was wonderful to be adopted the others have yet ever gotten over being discarded. It plays into their adult lives and even when they can get through the red tape and get information about their birth parents, it isn't always what is going to settle those demons.
My birth cousin, who was adopted out, has issues of being given away, but understands the reasoning but there will always have some impact. I think one has to question a woman who can give a child she carried for 9 months away.... god knows pregnancy is hell and the protective bond is strong for most, so I have issues with the concept. I know I couldn't go though it especially having miscarried before.
Yes, I agree that one has to mature to keep their opinion to themselves at work but I really wonder if one can proform their duties completely without bias. I know I will never want an OB doc or nurse who doesn't believe in the women's choice to be involved in my care. I'm lucky, I have had doctors and their staff who are non judgemental.
Well, now you know 2 adoptees who think adoption is wonderful. I think perception of adoption has to do with how a child is raised. As far as I was concerned, my birth mother didn't give me away, she gave me a family. The adoptive parents generally set the tone and mine are my real parents.
And if you think animals are more caring, you haven't been around that many. Same thing if you think there are millions of women out there just looking to get laid and have abortions
Remember, everyone - the two touchiest subjects for ANY discussion - nursing or no - are probably politics and religion, because everyone has their (usually deeply ingrained and immovable) opinions (and I am no exception) -
(Whew!) That said, if I ever came face-to-face with the birth mothers of my 2 nieces, I would get down on my knees and kiss their hands in gratitude for all the joy they have given my family over the years. I would like to think their hearts were in altruistic mode when they made the greatest sacrifice of all bygiving those kids opportunities they never otherwise would have had.
But even if these young ladies' motives were selfish and driven to rid themselves of the responsibility and inconvenience parenting would bring, I would still have the same immense gratitude to them.
Yes, I am sure the kids will have issues regarding the "Why was I given away" thing. But, hey, look at our society!! Many kids have issues today that certainly might equal or exceed this, yes? For that matter, so do adults!
I certainly don't "know it all" - nor will I ever. I guess we all just need to do the best we can do, and to try not to make blanket statements about situations wherein we have not "walked in their shoes". Heavy advice, and VERY difficult for ME to follow, being extremely opinionated myself! But, I shall try....
A 15 y/o skipped school and went to a party. She was given a drink and had no memory of what happened next. When she woke up, she found that she was bleeding....this girl was a virgin, did not have a boyfriend. We all felt that her story was true, never any changes in it. Later she realized she was pregnant, went through this pregnancy without telling anyone...they just thought she was getting fat. The day she delivered she called a relative, in tears, and was brought in, in labor. She was determined to give the baby up for adoption, without telling her mother. She picked out parents from the local adoption agency, and gave her beautiful baby girl to her new family. She said that she wanted her baby to have two parents, and named her baby girl "Hope". I wish more of our teen moms where as mature as this mom. She knew that she could not take care of it herself, and did not want to be pressured into keeping the baby, by her mom.
She told me that she briefly thought about abortion, but could not do it. Her relative was very supportive, and I felt that she must have had a very good reason not to tell her mom.
It's a much better ending than the first story in this thread!
Specializes in Case Mgmt; Mat/Child, Critical Care.
Originally posted by NICU_RNwantsFL
Moondancer and SmilyBluEyes -
Who is this individual you are referring to who has hateful attitudes and does not belong in nursing?
I hope you do not mean me?
No, no, no...as Deb already pointed out, there was another individual that stated something very derogatory about women choosing/seeking/contemplating abortion.
A friendly discussion/debate is always welcome, people w/that attitude are not.
"I think one has to question a woman who can give a child she carried for 9 months away.... god knows pregnancy is hell and the protective bond is strong for most, so I have issues with the concept."
Ok, I'll bite. When I was 24 I gave a child up for adoption. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. However, my reasons were all based in a deep love of that child.
Here's the story: I found out I was pregnant while my fiance was over in Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War. He was an Army medic and from what we could tell of the timing, the baby was a good bye present. Now, when I told him, he was thrilled. We had all kinds of plans for the baby, and he was trying to be able to be home to be with me for the birth, but it didn't happen that way. When I was 4 months pregnant, he was KIA. At the time, I was a college student trying to go full time while not overdoing it. you see, I was a high risk pregnancy due to an injury to my uterus when I was 19, and it was rough going at times, so I had to quit working because the added stress caused me to have a couple close calls early on, so I had to go on welfare when he died. Why? He had been sending me his pay from Saudi while he was alive, so I had had an income, but since we weren't married, I didn't get any benefits from the military, and his family, who didn't approve of him marrying out of his religion, cut me out cold, not caring that I was carrying another member of their family within me. I took a long, hard look at where I was and what I could offer a child in that kind of position. It wasn't much. Love is many things, but it doesn't put food on the table nor keep a roof over one's head if something bad happens beyond one's control. So I chose to give my child up for adoption. I worked with an agency where I got to learn about the prospective parents and pick a family I thought would be good for my child. I sent them letters, and they replied. We talked on the phone, and they even visited a few times. They did help me some financially with things welfare wouldn't cover like maternity clothes. I felt very good about the people who adopted my son. They were even there for the borth - not in the room mind you, but at the hospital at my request. I just didn't want a cast of thousands in the room with me as time closed in because it was a teaching hospital, and I'd had my fill of people coming and going, so at the end it was me , my coach, my nurse (I still remember her name , it was Becky.), and the doctor who was there since my doc was doing an emergency C-Section.
Afterwards, I had my son with me for the time I was in the hospital. As crazy as it may sound, I had him room in with me. I wanted to give him all the love I could while I was able to. I even nursed him. When I left, I wrote a long letter to him and gave it to his new parents to give him when they felt he was ready for it. In it I told him how much I loved him, and how I chose these people to be his parents because they could give him a life that I couldn't at that time. I left the door open for him to contact me if he ever wished to, and I got pictures from his parents for quite a while. Sadly, we fell out of touch a few years later because the Dad got transferred several times by his job, and I was in transition at the same time due to being stalked by an obsessive ex. I still think about him, and love him very much. If I can ever find them again,. I will reestablish contact, and let him know about his little brother. I think Craig and Tadziu would really like each other.
Specializes in Case Mgmt; Mat/Child, Critical Care.
tinnekke, my heart goes out to you. I think what you did was very brave and the most UN-selfish thing I have heard in a long time! It is true, most women who give up their children via adoption do so out of great love for their child.
How heart wrenching your life was at that time in your life...I can only hope things are better for you now. I pray that your son and you re-connect in the future. I know you will treasure the time you had w/him as a newborn, and I'm sure he will know what a sacrifice you made for him. :kiss
"I think one has to question a woman who can give a child she carried for 9 months away.... god knows pregnancy is hell and the protective bond is strong for most, so I have issues with the concept."
Ok, I'll bite. When I was 24 I gave a child up for adoption. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. However, my reasons were all based in a deep love of that child.
Here's the story: I found out I was pregnant while my fiance was over in Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War. He was an Army medic and from what we could tell of the timing, the baby was a good bye present. Now, when I told him, he was thrilled. We had all kinds of plans for the baby, and he was trying to be able to be home to be with me for the birth, but it didn't happen that way. When I was 4 months pregnant, he was KIA. At the time, I was a college student trying to go full time while not overdoing it. you see, I was a high risk pregnancy due to an injury to my uterus when I was 19, and it was rough going at times, so I had to quit working because the added stress caused me to have a couple close calls early on, so I had to go on welfare when he died. Why? He had been sending me his pay from Saudi while he was alive, so I had had an income, but since we weren't married, I didn't get any benefits from the military, and his family, who didn't approve of him marrying out of his religion, cut me out cold, not caring that I was carrying another member of their family within me. I took a long, hard look at where I was and what I could offer a child in that kind of position. It wasn't much. Love is many things, but it doesn't put food on the table nor keep a roof over one's head if something bad happens beyond one's control. So I chose to give my child up for adoption. I worked with an agency where I got to learn about the prospective parents and pick a family I thought would be good for my child. I sent them letters, and they replied. We talked on the phone, and they even visited a few times. They did help me some financially with things welfare wouldn't cover like maternity clothes. I felt very good about the people who adopted my son. They were even there for the borth - not in the room mind you, but at the hospital at my request. I just didn't want a cast of thousands in the room with me as time closed in because it was a teaching hospital, and I'd had my fill of people coming and going, so at the end it was me , my coach, my nurse (I still remember her name , it was Becky.), and the doctor who was there since my doc was doing an emergency C-Section.
Afterwards, I had my son with me for the time I was in the hospital. As crazy as it may sound, I had him room in with me. I wanted to give him all the love I could while I was able to. I even nursed him. When I left, I wrote a long letter to him and gave it to his new parents to give him when they felt he was ready for it. In it I told him how much I loved him, and how I chose these people to be his parents because they could give him a life that I couldn't at that time. I left the door open for him to contact me if he ever wished to, and I got pictures from his parents for quite a while. Sadly, we fell out of touch a few years later because the Dad got transferred several times by his job, and I was in transition at the same time due to being stalked by an obsessive ex. I still think about him, and love him very much. If I can ever find them again,. I will reestablish contact, and let him know about his little brother. I think Craig and Tadziu would really like each other.
You did what you thought was best, with the purest of intentions for your child. Too heck with what anybody else thinks. Children are not possessions. If you love your child and you can't care for that child-regardless of the reason it is the most loving thing to do to ensure that all their needs will be met. THAT'S love IMHO.
SmilingBluEyes
20,964 Posts
was this supposed to be funny?