I'm curious to hear what you all have to say. I'm a Pagan (nothing to do with Satan), 45 y/o male. Been a RN for 13+ years and primarily work ER. I was just informed last night by a former coworker from my very first job that I ran into while doing agency work that I was "pegged" as a drug abuser/stealer while working as a new grad. The reason I was given that label, I'm told, is solely because I have tattoos on my forearms. I have never stolen drugs or been accused of stealing drugs. This, however, set the "tone" for my career. I was treated very badly by my coworkers and became very untrusting of my peers as a result. I have been dealing with this lack of trust since then. I have always felt isolated and alone. The only reason I've remained in nursing is because of the effort and work to get here.
The person that told me about this label said they would be willing to testify to this. My dilema is this: Should I pursue those that (as I perceive) ruined my career before I really got started? Should I just let it go? I have to say there is no doubt in my mind that I continue to face this type of prejudice to some extent because of my tattoos and also when I do allow it to be known I (my family also) am Pagan.
I worked in a hospital some years ago when we still had to wear white uniforms. I have a couple of small tattoos on my back (butterflies) that showed through the uniform, and one nurse asked me 'are you a lesbian or on drugs?'.. HUH?!
We have a nurses aide that has tattoes down her arms. I always thought she was an excellent nurse assistant and still do. I honestly never noticed her tattoes.
A couple male patients noticed--both were in their 40's. One was asking about her--the girl with tattoes--the patient wanted to send her flowers--he said b/c she helped her so much. I honestly didn't know who he was talking about.
Then a month later another patient was in his 40's too...he didn't like the tattoes and let it be known. I was surprised he felt so strongly. This man brought the tattoes to my attention. I said, "you're the girl with tattoes"--she had short sleeves on that day--( If she always wears short sleeves--I'm pathetic b/c I honestly never noticed to this day--though I don't work there often)
I told her about the man wanting to send her flowers--she never received the flowers.
I've never heard any staff talk about her tattoes--or say any prejudice things--
If they are going to make decisions on a persons character based on tattoos- geez- their opinions would not hold much water with me! Another possibility is that ONE person said something stupid jokingly and the person who reported to you misinterpreted it. Some people just like to stir the pot.
I'm not sure what I'd do either. I can certainly understand your anger and frustration. I hate hate hate being misunderstood, being labeled.
Use it as a lesson learned and grow from it. Perhaps now that you know why you can be more trusting of your coworkers. It's so easy to fall into the trap "they mistreated me, so I'll be untrusting and act a certain way", when others keep their distance because you are distancing yourself, you might say "see, I'm right, people can't be trusted and treat me bad". Am I making any sense?
Sad, because not only did you miss out on some good people in your career, so did they. But they don't pay your rent, they don't hold the license, you're there for the patients, not to make friends. Who cares what anyone thinks. Be yourself, be professional and have a great life!
I think I'm working too much overtime and need some more coffee because I'm babbling. :)
Certain people need to build themselves up by putting others down. It's their own insecurities that fuel them. It's time to stop being hurt by these people and their vicious rumors. Don't be a victim for them anymore. You're letting them ruin something that I'm sure you loved doing at one point. Have you considered going to therapy to work out some of these issues? I have no idea why your former coworker even brought it up after all of these years. Take care of yourself.
"I was "pegged" as a drug abuser/stealer while working as a new grad."
It is not clear what you mean by this. Do you think that your were formally, if covertly, accused of this and somehow when future prospective employers phoned for references these people passed along this information, and that cost you jobs. If so, and you can prove that this is true, you have a legal cause of action. The case would probably take 3-5 years, at best, before you would collect a dime.
If not, let it go, and move on. If you make a point of announcing to one and all at your job interviews or soon thereafter that you are a pagan (or an SUV owner, or a whiskey drinker, or whatever), then you are simply asking for hostility in response by offering this irrelevant information. Who cares whether you are a pagan or a 7th Day Adventist? Do your work and leave politics, religion, sexuality, and yo' mamma out of it, I would suggest.
Who cares whether you are a pagan or a 7th Day Adventist? Do your work and leave politics, religion, sexuality, and yo' mamma out of it, I would suggest.
Could not agree more. :roll
Giving too much info to casual coworkers is just a recipe for disaster, in my experience. Coworkers are not necessarily your friends. I've made a few big mistakes thinking so. :stone
It's been my experiece that coworkers can be one of the biggest drags on any type of job. It's best to do your job, watch your back, and not get too involved with them, like Mattsmom said, they are not your friends.
featherzRN, MSN
1,012 Posts
I worked in a hospital some years ago when we still had to wear white uniforms. I have a couple of small tattoos on my back (butterflies) that showed through the uniform, and one nurse asked me 'are you a lesbian or on drugs?'.. HUH?!