Disappointing Career

[ERKev]

I'm curious to hear what you all have to say. I'm a Pagan (nothing to do with Satan), 45 y/o male. Been a RN for 13+ years and primarily work ER. I was just informed last night by a former coworker from my very first job that I ran into while doing agency work that I was "pegged" as a drug abuser/stealer while working as a new grad. The reason I was given that label, I'm told, is solely because I have tattoos on my forearms. I have never stolen drugs or been accused of stealing drugs. This, however, set the "tone" for my career. I was treated very badly by my coworkers and became very untrusting of my peers as a result. I have been dealing with this lack of trust since then. I have always felt isolated and alone. The only reason I've remained in nursing is because of the effort and work to get here.

The person that told me about this label said they would be willing to testify to this. My dilema is this: Should I pursue those that (as I perceive) ruined my career before I really got started? Should I just let it go? I have to say there is no doubt in my mind that I continue to face this type of prejudice to some extent because of my tattoos and also when I do allow it to be known I (my family also) am Pagan.

What say ye, peers???

[redshiloh]

You could pursue it, but I think it will be difficult to prove....you need something in writing by that first agency.

[iliel]

I would let it go.

I'm sorry someone would peg you like that, but I have to wonder why they would say it to you? Seems like someone just wanted to get under your skin. If you don't work with these ppl, then I wouldn't worry about it any more, it'll just cause you more undue stress.

I'm assuming if managment had any reason to think you were on drugs, they would have confronted you and taking care of the issue, but if it's just some ppl who like to talk, and that's what it sounds like, then I would ignore it.

I know there are many ppl here, students and nurses who have tatoo's, peircings, etc (I do and it's visable, on my wrist) they can probably tell you if they've felt any prejuidce because of it.

Good luck.

[Ned the Red]

You have two choices. Fight the world or work within the system. I'd suggest that you don't stand much chance of educating the rest of the world to what's behind the tatoos so.... wear long sleeves and shut up about being pagan until your co-workers really know you as a professional and are aware of how well you do your job.

Don't mean to sound rude or rough but, it's really none of their business so don't make it obvious. I've found that the more I treat my co-workers as fellow professionals and less like buddies the better things work. They have never met my wife, don't know my kids or religious affiliation, and I don't see them after work. Not that I dislike them but it goes to having another life outside work and keeping some professional boundaries.

[maureeno]

feeling isolated and alone and untrusting is rotten

and worse a cycle of reinforcement can easily be set in motion

you've been feeling bad for 13 years?

let go!

[i say this fully well knowing how difficult this will be]

good luck

p.s. many nurses on the West Coast are Wicca and even more have tattos

[renerian, BSN, RN]

Gosh I have tattoos too??? You can let it go or maybe you could relocate if that is an option? Clean slate so to speak.

renerian

[nurse62]

I would let it go. Your work should speak for itself. And I agree, your religious beliefs should be kept to yourself. I wouldn't care to know yours or anyone else's religious beliefs when I work with fellow nurses. Keep it professional. No one needs to know anything other than nursing skills and your professionalism.

[nurseygrrl, LPN]

My advice is to let it go and move on. Nursing is a tough gig and it seems sometimes that nurses try to attack one another just for kicks?! I am not one to judge others on their appearance alone, but unfortunately others can do that and come to ridiculous stereotypical conclusions in turn making you feel like crap. As I have gotten older, I have learned to really not care what others think of me and you should try the same. Do your work to the best of your ability, be friendly and who cares what others think? In the end, you only have to answer to your conscience and superiors and if there isn't proof that you've done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about. I also think that you're taking this whole thing a bit too far when you say your career was ruined, and it set the tone for your career...forget about it and move on! Don't let some ignorant people make you feel bad.

I also agree with Ned the Red who says:

shut up about being pagan until your co-workers really know you as a professional and are aware of how well you do your job.

Although you may be proud of who/what you are, there are certain things that are nobody's business and when people are ignorant about something, they are afraid of it and in turn may treat you differently.

Be proud of yourself and best of luck to you!!

[Gomer]

Friend will testify.....why? Are you planning on sueing someone? This all happened 13 yrs ago?....get over it, move on, and cover up the tattoos while at work (don't you have a dress code?) What am I missing here?

[ERKev]

Though not quite as simple as you suggest, Gomer, I agree it's time to let it go. I just found out last night about my GN days. A bad thing to let loose about someone you don't know. And, I suppose, feeling a little foolish for never having known what was said.

Thanks for your input.

[SCB]

That's nursing!

[Gomer]

OK, understand. You can grieve and feel foolish for the next 7 days; then move on. The past is never worth more than your future.