Disappointed in myself and feel like a failure in nursing.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Tele/SNF-LTC/Supervisory.

I just don't think I'm cut out to be a nurse. Well ... my patient interactions/assessments/care etc are very good. But I have no spine when it comes to dealing with many of my coworkers. I can't stand the undermining.. yet I say nothing to confront it, can't stand the bad mouthing of others, yet I say nothing about it, can't stand the feeling that I'm always having to watch my back so noone drives a knife into it.

Maybe because I don't get involved in the gossip.. I don't fit in. I just don't like the gossip and feel bad for the person they're talking about. And it's 90% of the time downing their capabilities as a nurse. It's very disheartening. I find that.. I just want to cry sometimes. And mostly because I'm ****** off at MYSELF for not having a spine and standing up for myself.

I'm tres sensitive, I know this.. even though I portray myself to be a roll off the shoulders person and happy go lucky.

I just don't know how to go about this anymore. I find I'm losing the battle...I'm TIRED of feeling like this. I do love my patients and letting them see a smiling face and happy person amongst many unhappy people...but I just feel so defeated.

Thank GOD for this forum. Thank you for any advice or support or just plain hugs. I really need it today.

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

My guess is you are not alone in your workplace. There are others that do not want to speak up.

Do you hear these people talking about you or other people? If it's you, talk to your NM or HR if needed.

If it's about other people, just simply walk away.

Push comes to shove, find another floor or hospital. Not all are like this.

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Specializes in Dialysis.

Get out of there ASAP. These nurses are adults and they developed that way of interacting long before you arrived. Start putting in applications, don't badmouth your employer, and don't look back.

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Specializes in MED/SURG STROKE UNIT, LTC SUPER., IMU.

Oh honey, I have had those feelings before and it doesn't feel great by any means. Is there a way you can transfer to a different unit? It sounds like a pretty toxic work environment.

I tend to let things roll off my back, but when it is constant and coming from differenct directions you may need to get into a differenct environment all together.

Good luck and make sure you take care of you with relaxing things at home and moments to destress.

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I completely agree with the two previous answers.

Also, I'd like to add that I don't think you should question whether or not you're cut out to be a nurse. It sounds like you are a fantastic nurse. Even if you change fields from nursing, the reality is that you could encounter colleagues like you describe in any other field.

Sending you hugs, from one sensitive soul to another! :-)

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The only actions you can control on your own. If you hear these people saying things that bother you you can simply say "I don't feel that you should be saying that and if you have an issue with another person you should discuss with them first instead of everyone else". It's hard when you are surrounded by a bunch of bad additudes but try to set an example with you having a positive attitude and being the bigger person. Don't let other people's attitudes bring you to their level. And I always remember the 3 B's "No ********, bickering, or backbiting". It doesn't benefit anyone, sounds like they need to learn them! Good luck and stay strong, it's not about them and if it doesn't improve talk to your supervisor and they may need to have a talk about attitudes.

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Specializes in Pediatrics 100%.

hey NocturneNrse,

I too am in an environment that I would say is less than ideal. Just starting out the techs would say to my face I don't know anything, point their fingers in my face screaming, and just the other day yell at me to behave because I didn't say HELLO right when I walked into the breakroom where they were sitting. I hear nurses constantly talk trash about the techs and how they are lazy, but don't ever say anything about it. Listening to what other people have posted here is helpful, but it really is difficult to get out of the situation when it is SO hard to find a job nowadays. I'm the same way, I just walk away, but it just builds up and I just want to quit.

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Specializes in ICF-MR.

:redbeathe **hugs**

I'm sure you are a great nurse. I am like you that I don't want to get involved in drama or gossip and feel bad for the others that are getting talked about.

I tell myself that I'm still gonna be me, know matter what, no matter if they don't like me for it. I know who I am and don't need anyone's approval. Although yes, it may sting a little when you feel like your the odd one out.

People will talk about you either way. Even if you compromise yourself and gossip in order to "fit in" they will still talk about you when your not there and about whoever's not there at the time. Nature of the beast.

Please don't question your nursing abilities on that trivial stuff! Keep ya head up! :D

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Specializes in Cardiac.

I think that if you truly like being a nurse, you shouldn't give that up just because of some rude people. You worked a lot of hours and put in a lot of hard work to become a nurse and no one should have the power to take that accomplishment away from you!

Definitely try what the above posters recommended and try looking for a new position. It may be a different facility all together or even just a different unit. (heck, you may even decide to swap specialties and change it up some!)

You can still be that nurse who is there to give a patient a smile, but you also need those around you to be supportive and give YOU a smile once in a while. Just keep an eye on those job openings and see what's available, nothing wrong with looking! :)

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Where I work there is gossip or talk about other nurses, but most of the time what is being said is totally truthful, and it impacts everyone that that particular nurse works with. If you act like a moron or are rude to everyone, including the patients, other people are going to take notice and talk about it. The one person who I don't believe has any right to criticize or badmouth the nurses is our uneducated, foulmouthed clerk who thinks she knows it all; but until she walks a day in a nurse's shoes I won't give any credence to her nasty remarks. Do I think these people talk about me when I am not there or down the hall? Sure do. The only thing I can do is try not to give them any ammunition :D.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I don't have anything to add but hugs {{nocturnenurse}} Not every place is like that, so don't give up hope. And please don't throw in the towel --- we need more nurses like you. ♥ ♥ ♥

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Specializes in ER.

I can totally relate. I don't like the gossip - never have - even in high school, I did not contribute to this and it does exclude you from certain groups that might be larger and more of a "follow" type mentality. Do not feel bad. Do not change who you are or compromise your personal values for the majority of the clique/group.

I find work to be tedious, many days, because of whom I am working with/near. There are other days where I am working with some nurses that I love and are of a like mind. Don't dispair, because you're not alone. Just do your job, keep your nose to the grindstone and when push comes to shove, push a bit back, then go see a patient/family member and offer a blanket/drink, etc. Sometimes I scan other rooms to see if a patient looks uncomfortable and offer some help. Just to get away from my area that might be chalk full of PIA's.

I do relate. I think many many nurses out there do.

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