I just don't think I'm cut out to be a nurse. Well ... my patient interactions/assessments/care etc are very good. But I have no spine when it comes to dealing with many of my coworkers. I can't stand the undermining.. yet I say nothing to confront it, can't stand the bad mouthing of others, yet I say nothing about it, can't stand the feeling that I'm always having to watch my back so noone drives a knife into it.
Maybe because I don't get involved in the gossip.. I don't fit in. I just don't like the gossip and feel bad for the person they're talking about. And it's 90% of the time downing their capabilities as a nurse. It's very disheartening. I find that.. I just want to cry sometimes. And mostly because I'm ****** off at MYSELF for not having a spine and standing up for myself.
I'm tres sensitive, I know this.. even though I portray myself to be a roll off the shoulders person and happy go lucky.
I just don't know how to go about this anymore. I find I'm losing the battle...I'm TIRED of feeling like this. I do love my patients and letting them see a smiling face and happy person amongst many unhappy people...but I just feel so defeated.
Thank GOD for this forum. Thank you for any advice or support or just plain hugs. I really need it today.
You do need to learn to be more assertive and toughen up but you're not going to change the gossipy nurses, just your reaction to it. If you absolutely can't handle the culture of your unit I would look for a department that has more male nurses in the mix. It totally makes a huge difference! I work with a good group of professionals, men and women, that I've rarely heard speak ill of other co-workers.
DookieMeisterRN
315 Posts
You do need to learn to be more assertive and toughen up but you're not going to change the gossipy nurses, just your reaction to it. If you absolutely can't handle the culture of your unit I would look for a department that has more male nurses in the mix. It totally makes a huge difference! I work with a good group of professionals, men and women, that I've rarely heard speak ill of other co-workers.