Dingy Barney

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Specializes in psychiatric nursing, med/surg adult care.

Attachment to inanimate object, say a toy, is cute and acceptable to a certain degree especially among hospitalized children who are in a great deal of stress. Cuddling a teddy bear is comforting and soothing, but when do parents need to consult a psychologist or a counselor for their child who just couldn't let anybody take away her precious rag doll?

I have a patient, 5 year-old Sally*, who came in with Dengue H fever. The case is on its critical stage (6 units of platelet concentrate is ordered to be transfused ASAP) with all the classic symptoms on surface, and I understand how difficult it must be for the mom to see her child go through all those agonizing blood extractions. And then I noticed Barney, sooooo dirty and dingy (yikes!:barf02: can't imagine the smell)

also tucked in the sheets with the patient. Sally has that Barney since age 1, which according to the mother, her daughter couldn't sleep without it and it goes with her practically anywhere, in the school, church, birthday parties, park, etc. The child does not allow even her mom to take the stuffed toy for laundry and the family used all means to bargain but to no avail. She would throw tantrums and one time when her father forced her to let go of the toy she got sick and didn't eat. They just gave up. I learned later on with the phlebotomist that each and every blood extractions, he has to "draw blood" from barney first so that Sally would cooperate. :eek: Yes seemingly harmless, but totally abnormal behavior.

She's a sweet little child, angelic even. But when asked about Barney, she just said defensively not to mind her and leave Barney alone.

If you are the parent, what would you do? Being the nurse, to what extent can you offer help with parenting concerns like this?

Nursing is a patient per patient challenge. :doh:

* Nmae changed to protect patient privacy.

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Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

Sounds like the little one is pretty ill. Last thing she needs is someone trying to have her let go of Barney. She'll do it when she's good and ready. My daughter was in martial arts at 4yrs and carried around what she called her Ukeee. It was nothing more than a cloth diaper I used to use under her head in her crib because she was a puker. I used to sweat it until her instructor told me that his college age daughter comes home and runs to her blanket. A grandmother told me she sewed what was left of her daughters blue blankie into a quilt because she never wanted to get rid of it.

Barney can be washed inside a pillow case. Being in the hospital is tough for an adult. I can't imagine being as ill as she must be at her age.

I can guarantee that by age 9 or 10 she will probably be done with Barney. Most kids grow to not like that purple dinosaur much by then. Of course this is just my humble opinion. I don't think it's a big deal at all.

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Specializes in NICU.

As a parent, I'd let my child keep hold of her toy until she was ready to let it go. Especially when she's sick--if it helps her feel better, then it's serving it's purpose. Most kids move on from attachments like this, but I don't know that I'd consider it abnormal at her age.

However, I would have made sure Barney made it through the washer every few days when my child was sleeping :).

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Specializes in Intrested in hospice & psych.

My little sister had a doll that was always with her. She spent most of her time in hospitals her first few years as did her doll. When she had to have a procedure so did he. When she was sick so was he. That was his opportunity to get a thorough washing! He would be there waiting for her when she was done and some times he would have band aids where "his IV" was or whatever to match the procedure she had done. Freshen the doll up, disinfect it, wrap it up in a blanket. Put a special bracelet on it just like (or similar to hers) give the doll a sticker and her a sticker for being brave. You can't rip a kid from their beloved what not but you coax them away from it for awhile. We did this through out my sister's life. All the nurses were very kind to both my sister and her doll. She was 22 when she died but she still had her doll and he was well loved. He was cremated with her because she was never with out him.

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Specializes in Gerontology.

Bring in another stuffed toy as a "stand in". Tell her Barney needs to go have a bath. Wash Barney and bring him back. Try to do this when she is sleeping.

Where I work, we let kids bring in theri favourite stuffed toy/blanket with them when they have surgery. The toy /blanket goes right into the OR with them.

can guarantee that by age 9 or 10 she will probably be done with Barney. Most kids grow to not like that purple dinosaur much by then. Of course this is just my humble opinion. I don't think it's a big deal at all

Don't know about this! I still have a stuffed toy I cuddle when I'm upset. And I'm closer to menopause than puberty!

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Specializes in psychiatric nursing, med/surg adult care.

I remember she was in good mood last night when I told her: " I see that you really love Barney, huh?" she suddenly she threw me a fierce look, with eyes blazing haha!

My only concern is that Barney harbors godzillions of germs and microorganisms that can harm the patient with already compromised health condition. But I agree that it would be wicked of anyone to take away that only thing she best draws comfort from.

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Specializes in Derm/Wound Care/OP Surgery/LTC.
My little sister had a doll that was always with her. She spent most of her time in hospitals her first few years as did her doll. When she had to have a procedure so did he. When she was sick so was he. That was his opportunity to get a thorough washing! He would be there waiting for her when she was done and some times he would have band aids where "his IV" was or whatever to match the procedure she had done. Freshen the doll up, disinfect it, wrap it up in a blanket. Put a special bracelet on it just like (or similar to hers) give the doll a sticker and her a sticker for being brave. You can't rip a kid from their beloved what not but you coax them away from it for awhile. We did this through out my sister's life. All the nurses were very kind to both my sister and her doll. She was 22 when she died but she still had her doll and he was well loved. He was cremated with her because she was never with out him.

That was a beautiful tribute to your beloved sister. Made me tear up.

Thank you for sharing that story.

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

Maybe Barney can take a bath when she does?

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Home Health.

My stepdaughter just turned 18 and still has her "bearo". she kept it with her for years, maybe until she was around 13. she still grabs him when she gets sick.

The bathing together is a good idea!

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Home Health.

If she is giving wicked looks when someone mentions barney, it sounds like maybe her parents or someone has harrassed her about him in the past and she feels defensive about him. I would suggest to the parents to allow the child to bath with the doll when she is able to.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

"Yes seemingly harmless, but totally abnormal behavior"

I think it's apparent that none of the responders feel that this behavior is in any way abnormal.

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Specializes in Telemetry, Case Management.
"Yes seemingly harmless, but totally abnormal behavior"

I think it's apparent that none of the responders feel that this behavior is in any way abnormal.

:yeah::redpinkhe:yeah::redpinkhe:yeah:

Absolutely normal behavior! Kids who are sick need their "lovey" more than ever. I wouldn't worry about it at the present time.

Barney may not be washable, my youngest had an "Angel Bunny" that isn't washable, but you might suggest to the parent that they see if the local 1-hour dry cleaner could do anything with it. (My youngest, she is now 26, still has Angel Bunny along with her own 4-yr old!)

And my thoughts on the "germ factor" is, if its dragged around by the kid all the time, he's exposed to what she's exposed to. Unless she is on reverse isolation for some sort immunocompromised state, its probably more aesthetic (eww, dirty barney) than anything else.

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