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Did I already screw up my nursing career?

Nurses   (2,438 Views | 18 Replies)

Nursing2019BSN has 1 years experience as a BSN, RN.

1,256 Profile Views; 75 Posts

I graduated with my BSN in may and got into a nurse residency program in August. I quit after 2 months because I had a terrible experience with my orientation and I struggle with extreme anxiety. My preceptors were straight up yelling at me in front of everyone every time I made a mistake. One preceptor (i had many) yelled at me because a family wanted to speak to her and she said no because she wanted to explain something to me. Idk how that was my fault, as I never told her she couldn't help them. She actively chose to say "I'm helping someone right now" to them and then went around to yell at me bc she didn't help them first and blamed me for them being mad at her ?...but I hope you can see where I'm going with this. I could never have seen myself happy there and I'm glad I quit. 

I quit 2 months ago, and have been applying to jobs in my hometown (my original hospital was in another state) but I'm starting to lose hope finding another job. I got an interview with a really prestigious children's hospital in my area, but my last manager told me he wouldn't be a reference bc I was only at the facility for 2 months and he didn't know enough about me. I just feel like I ***ed up big time and i have no idea where to go from here. What should I do?

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ruby_jane has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

3 Followers; 2,639 Posts; 10,848 Profile Views

First, find out if you're re-hireable at the other hospital. You need to call HR. You may not have worked there long enough (don't know how long the orientation was) and it may not matter. People find out in orientation that they don't fit (for a variety of reasons) all the time.

In the meantime, see if any agency that goes around giving flu shots is hiring. You'll get some work, keep yourself busy, and sharpen your skills.

Finally - we are prohibited from giving medical advice but you said you struggle with extreme anxiety and I hope that you find success and a treatment that helps you.

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295 Posts; 1,157 Profile Views

@ Nursing2019BSN, BSN, RN 

I have a question to ask you and I'm going to PM you

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TheMoonisMyLantern has 12 years experience as a ADN, LPN, RN and specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.

1 Article; 230 Posts; 8,676 Profile Views

Have you considered jobs outside of the hospital? In my area LTC/SNF's actually pay considerably more than hospitals and are new grad friendly. The acuity in SNF's has risen considerably so you'd still be exposed to IV's, drains, trachs, feeding tubes, complex wounds, etc which could help prepare you for a med/surg floor should you wish. There's also jobs in corrections (excellent pay generally), state psychiatric hospitals, and private duty home care. These areas may not have the social status attached to them that working in the ICU has but they still provide excellent experience and in most cases excellent pay and can be very full-filling work.

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SilverBells is a BSN and specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.

20 Posts; 234 Profile Views

There are many nursing jobs out there.  You will find one, even if it means working outside of the hospital.  Don't worry so much about the prestige of the organization you are working for; be more concerned with the orientation process, whether or not you could feel comfortable working in the facility/hospital, how welcoming the staff are, etc.  As a new grad, you need experience, not necessarily prestige; "Top 10 Hospitals" aren't always what they seem. 

My thought is to possibly leave the nurse residency off of your resume as you were only there 2 months and it was not an experience that could positively impact your chances of being hired (Note: this is risky in case a hiring manager were to find out about the residency...but, especially if you left on your own accordance, no one should care too much about a 2 month residency.  Eventually it will be irrelevant to your experience).  

Good luck! It's discouraging when a first job doesn't work out, but you might find that the second job you land is what you were supposed to be doing all along.  

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TitaniumPlates has 15 years experience and specializes in ED.

106 Posts; 1,980 Profile Views

You're still a new grad. Leave the residency off of your resume and apply for the new grad residencies closer to you.

"My former manager won't be a reference"===nursing at it's finest. He could speak to your punctuality, attitude and some other things---but he is choosing to do what all craptactular nurse managers who allow this garbage to go on in their units do---hobble anybody who dares to leave.

I'd put them in my rearview and never speak of them again. Don't put them on your resume and don't utter a word to anyone about your experience with them. 

2 months? I've left jobs of a YEAR off of my resume because of ***** nurse managers like the one you had the misfortune of getting.

Apply as a new grad---if you're under a year---that is what you are. And don't let anyone tell you that acute care is off the table for you. That's just a scare tactic. Again---it's what nursing does best.

Good luck.

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19 Posts; 196 Profile Views

Just Keep looking for jobs.  Apply to nursing home and clinics if you have to. But don’t list the hospital Job that you quit On your resume and don’t list this nurse manager ask a reference. Good luck.

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81 Posts; 2,296 Profile Views

I admit that I almost job hopped myself out of my nursing career because of my anxiety. My suggestion is to definitely analyze why you left that last job. Was there something else you could have done? Be brutally honest with yourself because you don't want a repeat. 

I realized that I was reacting emotionally instead of responding to my issues. I will never make the right decision that way. 

Once you know why you do something, then you can make a conscious decision to do things differently. 

I Am now on medication. I am changing all negative self-talk with positive.  I reflect after every shift and I run my decisions through a more grounded person. I've already avoided one bad decision and I feel like I'm on the right path for me.  

My two points are: if I was able to get hired again after job hopping (several jobs in a course of 2 years) then you can after only one misstep and make a conscious effort to do things differently (whatever that means for you). 

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1,702 Posts; 17,745 Profile Views

On 12/6/2019 at 2:52 PM, Nursing2019BSN said:

My preceptors were straight up yelling at me in front of everyone every time I made a mistake.

Just know that this is bizarre and unacceptable behavior for a preceptor.  

Assuming that you are describing it correctly- Your preceptor, multiple times used a voice that could be heard from a distance to correct your mistakes. 

Given that you struggle with what you describe as extreme anxiety, is it possible that you misinterpreted what was going on?  Regardless, dealing with that will be one of your primary challenges in this, or any job.

In answer to your question- no, you have not messed up your nursing career.  It is not unusual to have to try a few things to find a good fit.

You need a plan that will allow you to function in high stress situations.  You may need help in developing effective coping strategies.  Good luck.

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Nursing2019BSN has 1 years experience as a BSN, RN.

75 Posts; 1,256 Profile Views

On 12/6/2019 at 4:33 PM, ruby_jane said:

First, find out if you're re-hireable at the other hospital. You need to call HR. You may not have worked there long enough (don't know how long the orientation was) and it may not matter. People find out in orientation that they don't fit (for a variety of reasons) all the time.

In the meantime, see if any agency that goes around giving flu shots is hiring. You'll get some work, keep yourself busy, and sharpen your skills.

Finally - we are prohibited from giving medical advice but you said you struggle with extreme anxiety and I hope that you find success and a treatment that helps you.

Thanks you so much for your advice. I appreciate you taking the time to write to me 🙂

 

 

19 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

Have you considered jobs outside of the hospital? In my area LTC/SNF's actually pay considerably more than hospitals and are new grad friendly. The acuity in SNF's has risen considerably so you'd still be exposed to IV's, drains, trachs, feeding tubes, complex wounds, etc which could help prepare you for a med/surg floor should you wish. There's also jobs in corrections (excellent pay generally), state psychiatric hospitals, and private duty home care. These areas may not have the social status attached to them that working in the ICU has but they still provide excellent experience and in most cases excellent pay and can be very full-filling work.

Yes, I am willing to work anywhere!

17 hours ago, SilverBells said:

There are many Nursing Jobs out there.  You will find one, even if it means working outside of the hospital.  Don't worry so much about the prestige of the organization you are working for; be more concerned with the orientation process, whether or not you could feel comfortable working in the facility/hospital, how welcoming the staff are, etc.  As a new grad, you need experience, not necessarily prestige; "Top 10 Hospitals" aren't always what they seem. 

My thought is to possibly leave the nurse residency off of your resume as you were only there 2 months and it was not an experience that could positively impact your chances of being hired (Note: this is risky in case a hiring manager were to find out about the residency...but, especially if you left on your own accordance, no one should care too much about a 2 month residency.  Eventually it will be irrelevant to your experience).  

Good luck! It's discouraging when a first job doesn't work out, but you might find that the second job you land is what you were supposed to be doing all along.  

oof...i left my last job on there bc I was scared they would find out and fire me. Do you think this is why I'm having a hard time? It's also on my linkedin so i feel it's hard to hide

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Nursing2019BSN has 1 years experience as a BSN, RN.

75 Posts; 1,256 Profile Views

On 12/7/2019 at 6:05 PM, TitaniumPlates said:

You're still a new grad. Leave the residency off of your resume and apply for the new grad residencies closer to you.

"My former manager won't be a reference"===nursing at it's finest. He could speak to your punctuality, attitude and some other things---but he is choosing to do what all craptactular nurse managers who allow this garbage to go on in their units do---hobble anybody who dares to leave.

I'd put them in my rearview and never speak of them again. Don't put them on your resume and don't utter a word to anyone about your experience with them. 

2 months? I've left jobs of a YEAR off of my resume because of ****** nurse managers like the one you had the misfortune of getting.

Apply as a new grad---if you're under a year---that is what you are. And don't let anyone tell you that acute care is off the table for you. That's just a scare tactic. Again---it's what nursing does best.

Good luck.

He was a very nice manager, and I completely understand why he said he wouldn't be a reference. He was very understanding when i told him I was resigning. but I agree--he did what was easier for him. A lot of my coworkers said they experienced abuse from patients but he would not help them report it the police bc it would look bad for him... 

On 12/8/2019 at 4:47 AM, IHopeIGetIt said:

I admit that I almost job hopped myself out of my nursing career because of my anxiety. My suggestion is to definitely analyze why you left that last job. Was there something else you could have done? Be brutally honest with yourself because you don't want a repeat. 

I realized that I was reacting emotionally instead of responding to my issues. I will never make the right decision that way. 

Once you know why you do something, then you can make a conscious decision to do things differently. 

I Am now on medication. I am changing all negative self-talk with positive.  I reflect after every shift and I run my decisions through a more grounded person. I've already avoided one bad decision and I feel like I'm on the right path for me.  

My two points are: if I was able to get hired again after job hopping (several jobs in a course of 2 years) then you can after only one misstep and make a conscious effort to do things differently (whatever that means for you). 

This made me feel a lot better! Thank you so much. I just feel so idiotic and everyone around me (family and friends) are confused why i left so soon. It makes me feel like a failure. Why did I put 4 years into nursing school? I just feel like I can't survive as a nurse bc I'm really sensitive and anxious. 

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Nursing2019BSN has 1 years experience as a BSN, RN.

75 Posts; 1,256 Profile Views

2 hours ago, hherrn said:

Just know that this is bizarre and unacceptable behavior for a preceptor.  

Assuming that you are describing it correctly- Your preceptor, multiple times used a voice that could be heard from a distance to correct your mistakes. 

Given that you struggle with what you describe as extreme anxiety, is it possible that you misinterpreted what was going on?  Regardless, dealing with that will be one of your primary challenges in this, or any job.

In answer to your question- no, you have not messed up your nursing career.  It is not unusual to have to try a few things to find a good fit.

You need a plan that will allow you to function in high stress situations.  You may need help in developing effective coping strategies.  Good luck.

Yes, she and one other woman did. Other nurses saw and tried to comfort me because they knew it was uncalled for and upsetting. Some were very nice and tried to interject actually. God bless them.

I just feel like a lot of them pitied me and gossiped about me because they knew I was having a hard time. I wish they spoke up for me as well, because when I told my manager it seemed like I was just complaining as the newbie. But I know I shouldn't be treated like that. It was not right. It's weird because my anxiety is mostly about nursing. I don't have social anxiety or anything. 

Edited by Nursing2019BSN

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