Demented Residents & Funny Comments

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Have any of your demented residents made hilarious comments to you lately?

I was giving a bolus tube feeding to one of my elderly residents very early this morning. She has a diagnosis of senile dementia. As I walked away, she examined my butt and stated, "Girl, you're gettin' fat! You need to stay away from the food!"

She takes a second look at me and says, "You're sure enough gettin' fat!"

I responded with a smile, "Okay."

I have lost over 40 pounds within the past 6 months, so the comment didn't really bother me much. I thought it was somewhat cute!

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Specializes in Emergency Midwifery.

This happened to a fellow coworker.

LOL reached up and grabbed her breast and said....

"oohh they're nice and firm aren't they...."

:lol2:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

In a nursing home where I used to work, we had a sweet LOL who was every bit the genteel Southern lady.........wouldn't have said "poop" if she had a mouthful. She loved to chat, so when I had a bit of spare time one evening, I went over to talk with her.

"How are you doing, Silda?" I asked her.

"Oh, Ah'm doing just fahn," she said in her cultured Georgia accent. "How have yew been, honey?"

"I'm good, Silda. What's going on with you?"

As usual, she went on in a conversational tone, telling me all about the canasta session she'd enjoyed that day with several of the female residents."Well, sweetheart, Ah've been playin' cahds with the otha ladies, and we had sweet tea just lak Ah used to make back home in Decatuh when we had our big house pahhties. And mah (rhymes with fussy) hurts.":eek:

Turned out she had a UTI..........

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I once complimented a resident on her beautiful thick wavy white hair, she retorted back angrily, "My hair is not white!Thats ridiculous, how can I have white hair, I'm only 27 years old!!!"

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

I had one old lady with an ostomy bag, back when I worked in Assisted living. Everytime someone cleaned her up she would say "Oh dear oh dear, bread and beer. If I were married I wouldn't be here....*pauses and looks away a little, considering* But I was married... and I'm still here *smiles up at the person helping her and laughs happily* I was married, he was a good man... *looks away, thinking* but he was killed.. by a horse" Then she would pat you (often with hands she had just touched her ostomy with) and go on to sing some song or another. O_O

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Specializes in Psychiatry.
I once complimented a resident on her beautiful thick wavy white hair, she retorted back angrily, "My hair is not white!Thats ridiculous, how can I have white hair, I'm only 27 years old!!!"

XD you reminded me, I had one patient that told me "You should dye your hair pretty"

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

I once had a sweet LOL who was getting IV fluids. The pump kept beeping because she was restless and moving all over the bed. After I'd been in her room for the umpteenth time, she said in her sweetest Southern drawl, "Honey, if you don't KILL that damn bird I'm going to!!!!"

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I once complimented a resident on her beautiful thick wavy white hair, she retorted back angrily, "My hair is not white!Thats ridiculous, how can I have white hair, I'm only 27 years old!!!"

This reminds me of an lol I took care of a few years back. I was helping her with am care. She asked me how old she was and I informed her: 81.

She said "Eighty-one? I thought I was twenty-seven! Honey, if I'm eighty-one, I want to be waited on!"

She promptly plopped down in her chair, crossed her arms over her chest and started barking orders.

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I love these stories, makes me miss my old ladies and gents.:heartbeat

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Specializes in Nursing Home ,Dementia Care,Neurology..

Now I know it was 0400 and I probably wasn't looking my best but the comment from an 88 year old,'I think it's marvellous what you do at your age' really cracked me up!

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Specializes in Aged care, disability, community.

I was chatting to a resident's family member the other day and the resident comes up to me and goes "Aren't you a lovely little boy, are you married?"

I have hair half way down my back and I'm a DD cup.

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER, ICU.

OOOh, I have a few good ones back from my years in LTC.

This one cute little lady, I got her washed up for the night, into bed, and I pulled the covers up nice and neat over her, she looked at me so seriously and said, "now don't forget to butter it!"

Another lady would sit in her wheel chair and make this motion with her hands as though taking something from one palm and throwing it accross the room. When asked what she was doing, she yelled "are you blind, can't you see I'm feedin them chickens??":D

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