Demeaned by a Doctor

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Jan 14, 2012

My advice - let it go. Some people are just an a$$ - doesn't matter what title is behind their name or what profession they are in. Even when this type of person is confronted with their behavior they just don't get it and never will. (Any time I tried to stand up to these arrogant people I just end up madder and they walk off like they are strolling along a beach).

Take the high road and don't let it get to you. I'm sure the patient appreciated you and that is what matters.

Florence NightinFAIL, BSN, RN · Jan 14, 2012

I wouldn't let her talk to me like that in front of a patient. You don't have to be yelling or saying curse words to be sounding rude. Tone can say a lot.

sharpeimom · Jan 14, 2012

never ever let someone else rent space inside your head! remember that giving that space to them is even worse, so just let it go. anyone who is that ignorant and rude isn't worth getting upset over. i can promise you

that she's treated many many other people there exactly the same horrible way she treated you. that certainly doesn't justify it but it should make you feel less attacked and picked on.

the patient and her relative both noticed dr. charm and personality and were shocked. i promise they were.

mention it to your nm and let it become ammunitation she can use.

♑ Capricorn ♑ · Jan 14, 2012

I work as a PCT at an ICU and just currently started nursing school. Last Thursday towards the end of shift I was waved into a room by a doctor. I rarely talk to the doctors at my job. It's not personal or anything like that. They know they don't need to confer with me and I know I don't need to confer with them. This was a peculiar set of events and I was curious to say the least. As soon as I arrived in patients room I was immediately talk to in a way I have not been talked to in a long long time. I was immediately demeaned as she badgered me about how nobody on this unit follows the rules and the patient should not be sitting in a recliner in from of thousands dollars worth of equipment (she was referring to the bedside computer). I was calm and asked if she would like me to move her up a little so she could use it. She immediately barked back 'yes' and that would be needing a chair. I walked over past the cabinet and told her there is usually a chair hanging on the wall in every room but this time there wasn't and she barked back again. I wish I could paint the picture of how she talked to me because I'm not doing her any justice on this post. What's comical is I've never seen a doctor (Ever!) on this unit chart by the bedside. The hospital is brand new and they were given their own private office full of computers where they can chart but they instead use the ones the techs and nurses need. Her high and mightly attitude blew me away. The daughter of the patient was even the one who put her in the recliner but that didn't matter and that isn't the point. Where the patient was, was an ideal spot because it allowed her to be right in front of her television. In my head while I was in the room I was thinking..."Sorry Massa, I don't know how the chair got in front of the computer massa, how can I help Massa?"
My dad was a doctor and didn't treat people like that. You treat everyone equally in my book. Your profession is a huge part of you but it is not who are. Everyone from every aspect of life should be treated exactly as you would treat a doctor, the pope, or Jesus Christ reincarnated. I can't seem to let this thing go. It's been three days and I still have not let go of this. I could use some advice.

Brush it off and move on. Allowing yourself to have someone else have power over you, will drive you batty. Unless if there is something else you'd like to say with this doctor. Hopefully the doctor has gotten passed the issue, so should you.

chall2011 · Jan 14, 2012

Yeah, I know all this. Just needed to hear it. Summary of events: *****. End of story.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 14, 2012

I usually consider the source and decide that it's beneath me to respond. That Md already did plenty to make herself seem petty.:hug:

camoflower · Jan 14, 2012

Hear Ye Hear Ye...Once a doctor yelled at me, I yelled back at him...my patient was asked and he refused pain meds over and over..but when the doctor asked of course he was "hurtin really bad" I had another doctor raise his hand and tell me "DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING!" he interrupted me 1st, he wasn't the one trying to keep the gauze replaced that was soaking fluids from a 80 year old intestines that were accidentally nicked by this particular doc for the past 12 hours. He should have been praising me! .....I have learn its not you when folks yell at you - they yell at you to a. impress their patients or b. they are having a crappy day...anyhooo, too many crappy days in that hospital so....I left. I work now with doctors that give gift certificates to me for Christmas, never yell, teach me things and I in return get the patients to write the doctors wonderful letters of appreciation, blow up gloves and write notes to the doc of appreciation. There is always a downside isn't there..my life isn't all rosey. I'm still PRN - not enough hours an my office manager is female...I mark the calendar, from 5 days to 2 days after the FULL MOON, PMS at its worse!! She yells and threatens to fire us, slams her desk, micro manages like a zoombie every thing we do is wrong even when its right.....we hide until we hear her laugh again.

VENT VENT VENT....write about it ....let it go..

Pneumothorax, BSN, RN · Jan 15, 2012

I assume all docs are jerks/rude, until they prove otherwise. If they get snappy and bark at me .... W/e I listen and let it roll off my back. They don't know me so I know it's not personal.The was an incident the other day & someone said your gonna let them talk an u like that?! I said u know what , I didn't even hear it... So it must not have been that important to tell me lol. Just remember karma is always watching. When they get sick & need us so called idiots, morons or whatever adjectives they choose to use they'll change their tune when u got their willy in a clamp & stuffing a foley in it

aboucherrn · Jan 15, 2012

I struggle with the nurse-physician dynamic even after many years as an RN. I hate talking to them, I hate calling them for orders, and I hate how most of them have no idea what nurses do. Most of the time the attitude comes from having a bad day. I watched a doctor once berate a new graduate RN to the point where she could not finish her shift. I casually brought the incident up to the doctor a week or so later when I saw him again, and he didn't even remember that he had yelled at anyone. They work longer hours and are under more pressure than nursing staff. That doesn't give the excuse to be rude... but try not to take it personally :).

PMFB-RN, RN · Jan 15, 2012

I have two ways of dealing with doctors. For those that are professional & civil I am professional & civil in return. For those that are just bullies in white coats I let them know (without actually every saying the words) that I would be happy to find them alone in the parking lot and teach them a lesson if they choose to demean or insult myself or my fellow nurses. It works cause I am a large fit man. One should not have to stoop to such tactics but I simply will not allow any bully to abuse me or my coworkers reguardless wether they are hiding behind their white coat or not.

Usually when faced with a strong and assertive responce to their childish or malicous behavior they back off.

DixieRedHead, ASN, RN · Jan 15, 2012

My mother taught me that "Trash is something that you walk around, not something you wade through."

Let it go.