she has a crush on me

Double-Helix, BSN, RN · Feb 25, 2012

Hi. I'm not a guy, so sorry, but I figured I'd comment anyway.

If you aren't interested right now, it's best just to be up front about it. You're in college now, and both professional adults. So say something like, "I just got out of a relationship and I'm not ready for another one. I really want to focus on school this semester. So maybe we can just be friends for now and hang out sometime." Just be honest. If there is really a connection between you then the best thing to do is get to know her first and see if you like spending time with her. It's much more likely to end badly if you jump into a relationship without knowing what kind of person she is. Like you said, you have to survive the next 3.5 years with this person.

Finally, I do know a couple of people who have dated classmates and it went okay. Most of the couples broke up and were able to stay amicable. Some had to avoid each other's classes and clinical sections. One couple dated for over two years and just recently got married during their senior year. So just like any relationship, sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't. Good luck.

Ackeem, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Feb 25, 2012

hey thanks for your advice i think i going talk to her more to get to know her more.

GodsSon128 · Feb 26, 2012

see where her mind at. maybe u guys can be good study buddies.

futurernhazel · Feb 26, 2012

girls will always be around! concentrate on ur studies!! create a solid career for urself. What if things dont work out between you guys and u have a nasty breakup. would u be able to concentrate in class while she is next to u, or if she is in another study group with u! i understand she is hot (lol) but there are hotter girls out there. And when you finish ur school , girls would be flocking to u.

If she was not in the same school and class well that would be a different situation. and i am not saying dont have a girlfriend, but try to keep ur personal life and school separate! (talking from experience). furthermore, she sounds very aggressive and rude to be asking u that kinda question while a study group is in progress (dont u think??)

Try to stay focus on ur priorities!

Bob_N_VA · Feb 26, 2012

Rule #1: Don't mess around in class with any of the ladies, because if it goes south, then you have to see her and all her friends for the next several years and they do talk.

Rule #2: Learn to use capital letters when you type in a public forum, it makes it much easier to read and follow your train of thought. And while we are on the subject of grammar, please don't start every paragraph with "so".

Trauma Columnist · Feb 26, 2012

Ok guys lets keep it clean.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Feb 26, 2012

Yeah, sometimes people end up with their soul mate that they met in class. But most have had more than one relationship. That makes their personal success rate like 2:1 or 5:1 or 42:1. Your instincts are right. Pay attention to school and try to keep her at arms length. Getting through school will serve you well for the rest of your life, it should be your highest priority. A bad relationship could delay or derail your education. Don't encourage her by being too nice, and if you have to, just tell her flat out your aren't interested. If she really becomes a problem introduce her to your friends, she can date them...

ckh23, BSN, RN · Feb 27, 2012

Trust your gut. It seems like you already know the answer. Just let her know where you stand.

Ackeem, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Feb 27, 2012

girls will always be around! concentrate on ur studies!! create a solid career for urself. What if things dont work out between you guys and u have a nasty breakup. would u be able to concentrate in class while she is next to u, or if she is in another study group with u! i understand she is hot (lol) but there are hotter girls out there. And when you finish ur school , girls would be flocking to u.
If she was not in the same school and class well that would be a different situation. and i am not saying dont have a girlfriend, but try to keep ur personal life and school separate! (talking from experience). furthermore, she sounds very aggressive and rude to be asking u that kinda question while a study group is in progress (dont u think??)
Try to stay focus on ur priorities!

thanks for your advice :) and yeah that was very rude of her.

commonsense · Mar 3, 2012

so i just started university doing a bsn and i'm now in my second semester, its going quite good so far i got 5 "-a's" and 1 "b" on my finals of the first semester, i' was pretty proud to get an -a in biochemistry since i was struggling a bit. but to the real issue, there's this one girl in my class that has been staring me down from day one, anyway i didn't think much of it. normally i see her everyday so most times i greet her and we exchange a few words, then i would go my way. so recently (last week) our psychology lecturer placed us in groups for a group presentation, now it just so happen that me and that one girl ended up in the same group.
so anyway i called a group meeting this past monday to prepare for our presentation, its like six of us, me the only guy and five other girls (i'm the only guy in the whole class of 33 people), so naturally i decided i would be the main representative of the group. anyway in the midst of the meeting i was basically brain storming some ideas when this girl came out of nowhere and said " hey ackeem do you have a girl friend?" so was like shocked not particularly at the nature of the question but how randomly the question was ask.
so i was like speechless for 3 second not responding to her until one of the other group members said to continue what i was saying, anyway i did and yes it was a very awkward moment. about 20 mins later i ended the meeting and gave them topics they should research on to discus wednesday. so anyway wednesday arrived, after we had finish discussing the presentation that one girl (her name is latoya btw), came over to me and said that i still haven't answered her question so i was like what are you talking about?, what question? anyway i knew exactly what she was talking about but i didn't want to her to think that i was considering it much (you know, trying to play cool).
so anyway she ask me again and i replied saying "yes i am single me and my gf recently broke up" the moment i said that her face literally lit up, then she told me she also was single, anyway i immediately changed to subject, and shorty after that we went out separate ways.
so here's the problem guys, this girl is hot and all, but we're going to be in the same class for 3 and half more years lol so i don't really want to start a relationship with this chick because i have a bad feeling that it wouldn't end well, and will only distract me and complicate my school life even more.
so from a professional point of view guys, what do you think i should do, go ahead and date her or just forget about it and think about my studies.
and are there any guys here who date classmates and it worked out fine?

you've gotten solid advice from the guys and ladies that have posted before me, and your logic seems sound. my advice is to just forget about the situation. if she is really adamant about pursuing the relationship you might have to deal with the situation. if so try to spare her feelings as much as possible, the "i don't want to mix business and pleasure" argument usually works, and in your case it applies.

Z A C H · Mar 21, 2012

I did it. Ended up horribly and now we act like we don't even know each other when we see each other. Would still do it again.