Coworker issues - so disheartening

Nurses General Nursing

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Hey guys..long story short: I'm an RN now approaching to complete my first year working at a small facility. The MA (let's call her Ann) who has been there for 3 years has been so good to me, helping with orienting me to the software, some machines and the general routine at this place is now becoming a little harsh. At first I thought maybe it's because I've been doing something wrong, but I spoke with our manager who told me I have learned very fast and he is so impressed by my progress that he now entrusted me with more responsibilities (within my first 2-3 months).

Lately, Ann has been really cold to me and always complaining about the most inane things, like the trash can was not placed exactly under the hole of the counter or that the windows were not wiped or supplies were not arranged the way she wanted them. Now I've been doing my best to make sure everything in the place is clean and clear and every room stocked almost perfectly. (Yes, we need to do all of those aside from nursing work, which I don't mind.)

Another coworker who snooped around and found out everyone's salary (I know, I know, she shouldn't have done that) said she thinks maybe Ann is not happy with the salary difference. At my first year, I earn $4 more than she does being an MA for 3 years. For me, maybe it's just office politics and she is in a power struggle all by herself, thinking that because I don't follow her around like a puppy dog in orientation, she's not "higher" than me anymore (experience-wise.) I don't know..it's just so disheartening to work with a person like this. I always think that if someone is not happy with their life, they will find ways to make other people's lives miserable. Am I overreacting or are there really people like this in nursing?

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

No, this is just people. It's worse in other fields. Just do your best job and you can go home feeling good about yourself.

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You're an RN, she's an MA. If you weren't earning more, I would be wondering. Not your fault she didn't go to nursing school. She should take the hint here and do something to better her situation.

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Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.
No, this is just people. It's worse in other fields. Just do your best job and you can go home feeling good about yourself.

Exactly. Take it from someone that's worked in multiple careers before coming to nursing: There are crabby, vindictive, petty people wherever you go. Nursing is not unique.

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I think there is always that "one person" or maybe "few" in a work place that you need to be careful with. You always have to watch what you say, do and everything, even when you do, they will make up stories. Just experiences, I guesss some people are unhappy and have to act like that. But I think it's everywhere not just in nursing. Good luck :)

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Specializes in ED.

The above posters are correct. However, a thought. You might do something pleasant for her, in spite of how she is acting toward you. Something that shows recognition.

Maybe a thank you card on your 1-year anniversary, explaining your gratitude for all her help getting you where you are now.

I don't know what your relationship with her was like before, but if possible, you could invite her out to a thank you meal, and present the card there.

Even if this situation isn't your fault, you *possibly* have the opportunity to fix it anyway. Might be worth a shot, no? And, if all goes well, be sure to praise her from time-to-time for the excellent work she is doing, especially in front of others.

If she isn't receptive to the card or the meal in the first place, there is likely nothing you can do. But at least you will know you have tried. You should still try the praise from time-to-time anyway, in front of others, so that down the road your relationship becomes an issue with management, it will be you smelling like roses.

DC :)

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No, this is just people. It's worse in other fields. Just do your best job and you can go home feeling good about yourself.

I guess this is just the first of the many horrible people I might encounter later on? :D

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The above posters are correct. However, a thought. You might do something pleasant for her, in spite of how she is acting toward you. Something that shows recognition.

Maybe a thank you card on your 1-year anniversary, explaining your gratitude for all her help getting you where you are now.

I don't know what your relationship with her was like before, but if possible, you could invite her out to a thank you meal, and present the card there.

Even if this situation isn't your fault, you *possibly* have the opportunity to fix it anyway. Might be worth a shot, no? And, if all goes well, be sure to praise her from time-to-time for the excellent work she is doing, especially in front of others.

If she isn't receptive to the card or the meal in the first place, there is likely nothing you can do. But at least you will know you have tried. You should still try the praise from time-to-time anyway, in front of others, so that down the road your relationship becomes an issue with management, it will be you smelling like roses.

DC :)

Wow very wise words! I appreciate all your suggestions. I have tried doing that, for example, on her birthday I brought her a cake. She hugged me lightly and said thank you but when we went home, she left the cake at work. The only touched part was the 2 slices eaten by her kids who came there that day. Other than that, she did not touch it at all or bring it home.

Another time, a patient was talking to both of us and asked if we were both RNs and she said that she's the MA, i'm the RN. The patient then said, oh so she's here (me) to make sure you don't do anyone any harm. I defended her and said, actually she's been here longer and she helped me out a lot on my first month. and she said that she has been there for 3 years and she trained me. I know she has helped me a lot but i couldn't help feeling a little insulted. Oriented me maybe, but not trained. Wouldn't you think so?

And the patient was like, oh so she's (me) just more book smart than you because she finished her RN. I could tell she was a little miffed. Anyway, I just played nice and said she'll be an RN soon because she started going to nursing school while working.And she started being cold to me once again after the patient left.

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if you tried your best, then it's just her having to except the fact that you worked hard to get wherre you are, hello you are an RN! lol! people thrive off of authority when they should thrive off of camaradian. just remember to wash behind your ears so that she can't complain, continue to be nice and then one day she will get the picture that if she wants better she needs to step her game up...

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Honestly, this just sounds like a "can't please 'em" situation. She's upset about something, and it's not your job to figure it out and kiss up to her to fix it. It sounds like you've gone out of your way to be extra nice to her, without any sort of reciprocation. I don't think this is something *you* can fix. I had a friend like this. She just wasn't happy with herself, and thus went around belittling others. There are a few women like this at the assisted living facility I work at too.

I'm still a student, and not in the "real" world, but my best advice is to just keep being nice to her and just kind of brush off the rest of the crap you receive. If you take the high road, she'll either realize how she's acting and change, or you'll just look better.

Good luck!

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The above posters are correct. However, a thought. You might do something pleasant for her, in spite of how she is acting toward you. Something that shows recognition.

Maybe a thank you card on your 1-year anniversary, explaining your gratitude for all her help getting you where you are now.

I don't know what your relationship with her was like before, but if possible, you could invite her out to a thank you meal, and present the card there.

Even if this situation isn't your fault, you *possibly* have the opportunity to fix it anyway. Might be worth a shot, no? And, if all goes well, be sure to praise her from time-to-time for the excellent work she is doing, especially in front of others.

If she isn't receptive to the card or the meal in the first place, there is likely nothing you can do. But at least you will know you have tried. You should still try the praise from time-to-time anyway, in front of others, so that down the road your relationship becomes an issue with management, it will be you smelling like roses.

DC :)

I agree with almost everything you've said, except this: "And, if all goes well, be sure to praise her from time-to-time for the excellent work she is doing, especially in front of others."

I think doing that might seem as if she's trying to act smug, or put herself above the MA, if she starts praising the MA in front of others, like she's the teacher and the MA is the student....You would have to be extra careful if engaging in that kind of behavior....

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

She liked feeling superior to you, and while you were the newbie was glad to show it. Now that you are comfortable in what you do, you aren't "inferior" anymore, and she has to follow your lead and acknowledge your authority over her.

That's what the whole putdown in front of the patient was, defiance of your "superior" position as the nurse. Like it or not, there is a heirarchy in both responsibility and pay. Calling her on it in front of the patient would have been petty, but if she continues to do it in front of them (even once more) you need to cut her short. Don't get in a catfight in front of the pt, but tell her you need to speak to her in private; bluntly tell her you don't appreciate being denigrated in front of people who need to be able to trust thier nurse, and not to do it again. Then inform your DON of what you said, so if it comes up again you've established a pattern of her behavior.

The last thing nurses and patients need is someone to undermine the trust and confidence that allows for good care.

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