Compassion required???

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I have a fairly important question regarding the personal requirements of nursing. Most of everyone in my family has some sort of medical degree and I am following suit (after a less than climactic career in engineering). I identify pretty well with the people in my family in regards to personality and they all have encouraged me so far in the nursing program, each telling me I will do very well.

So heres the issue:

I keep coming across references to "Compassion" being a "common sense requirement" to be a nurse. This DOES NOT click with me or my personality. I like to think I have a science based logic and frame of mind, I am goal oriented, and I love a good challenge, excitement, and nigh impossible deadlines. This I can see being useful in being a nurse. However, I am not that compassionate of a person. Most of the time I believe that what happens is a consequence of your own actions. I do not easily feel sympathetic towards people and quite honestly am very irritated by drama and over acting. I have read and come across information explicitly stating that this is the number one reason NOT to be a nurse.

I have to admit, I am doing it for the money and job stability. I will most likely never work full time and I will never bring my work home with me WHEN POSSIBLE. I don't feel sorry for the sick, the injured, the unfortunate - IMO thats the way the world turns. I am in no way christian, bhuddist, jewish, agnostic, atheist, etc... I relate to Pantheism if I had to pick something spiritual to believe in. I do not agree with religion and would never pretend to. This being said, I CAN hold my tongue - I am actually quite the pro at it. Edit: I should also mention that I am very capable and I am very professional in work situations. I exhibit respect for other's opinions and beliefs. I just won't fake my own.

I am very good at carrying out instructions, working with a clear mind, getting the job done objectively. When it comes to critical thinking I can get it done subjectively as well. Those boundaries are malleable - the ones that aren't are the ones concerning my emotions. I like people in general when they are not consumed with themselves or taking themselves too seriously.

Am I a recipe for disaster when I begin working as a nurse? Should I cut my losses and withdraw from my nursing program so far - (Which I enjoy the moderate challenge)

Without WANTING to help the sick and injured I can still be a great nurse in my opinion. I'm not saying I would have a problem carrying out the duties of a nurse, but honestly it isn't what I wake up wanting to do. I am not a Mother Teresa. I want to be a nurse, like I said, to have the money, flexibility, and job security. I didn't even consider being a nurse until I realized the pay rate and demand. Don't get me wrong - I will do the job and do it to the best of my ability and I will follow direction easily without involving my own opinions, but I will not pretend to be sympathetic or empathetic. Thats just me. :nurse:

Anyone else feel this way? Are you a nurse that has a similar personality? If so please tell me your experience as a nurse.

EDIT: I am convinced that my lack of ability in being outwardly compassionate lends to my ability to "not freak out" in emergency situations. I have been known to carry out my responsibilities like nothing has happened. I wanted to be an EMT originally, but unfortunately they are paid like chumps... ):

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
Well, I'm thinking bone sticking out, arm hanging off, that sort of thing. Lol.

Oh.

What's the big deal about that?

I once worked a 12hr shift with my arm hanging off, attached by only one single ligament.

<_>

>_>

Ah, I do see your point though. U R right there. TC did not make any reference to wanting to change this aspect of herself or improve in any way.

Kinda like the student who is not doing well with math saying "Ah well, I can be a fine nurse without worrying about gtt. rates and other calculations" instead of seeking a tutor.

Truth is, people are begging her not to go into nursing because they are afraid for the patients. Truth is, it's TC who should be worried if this is the case, that she does not consider it a problem that needs overcome. She'll get eaten alive by the patients and family. Never mind protecting them, it's her that would be in danger lol.

Yeah, as I said before, I just cannot imagine doing this job without being able to find satisfaction in helping others. I think the OP would be miserable.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Interesting article...

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/742189

Specializes in being a Credible Source.

Jellyfishmafia's last visit was 26 minutes after posting that piece.

Too soon to call troll but s/he's missing out on all the commentary for now.

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
Jellyfishmafia's last visit was 26 minutes after posting that piece.

Too soon to call troll but s/he's missing out on all the commentary for now.

:(

I didn't even know you could see when someone was on here last.

Specializes in School Nurse.
Jellyfishmafia's last visit was 26 minutes after posting that piece.

Too soon to call troll but s/he's missing out on all the commentary for now.

I had the same thought a couple days ago after seeing no further posts... Things that make you go Hmmm.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
:(

I didn't even know you could see when someone was on here last.

Click to view someones public profile and right underneath the name it states your last activity date and time..:smokin:

Specializes in School Nursing.

I think it is possible to be a good nurse without dripping with compassion, but let's be honest. How happy is someone who admittedly has no desire to help the sick and injured going to be in nursing? This is hard work. If there is not some inner desire to help people on some basic level, I don't think the OP is going to be happy.

Besides, nursing in most parts of the country these days is neither a well-paying nor stable career choice. Those are the two worst reasons I can think of to get into a helping field. Sure, they are factors in the decision, but the deciding factors? Bad idea.

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
Click to view someones public profile and right underneath the name it states your last activity date and time..:smokin:

I'm such a turd. Ah well. It took me months and an email to my friend sirI to find AN Central.:o

I think it is possible to be a good nurse without dripping with compassion, but let's be honest. How happy is someone who admittedly has no desire to help the sick and injured going to be in nursing? This is hard work. If there is not some inner desire to help people on some basic level, I don't think the OP is going to be happy.

Besides, nursing in most parts of the country these days is neither a well-paying nor stable career choice. Those are the two worst reasons I can think of to get into a helping field. Sure, they are factors in the decision, but the deciding factors? Bad idea.

I was going to post the paraphrased version of this. Thanks Purple Scrubs!

I completely agree. You don't have to be the world's most compassionate person to be a nurse, and money and job security are good reasons for choosing a career. That being said, the 11th hour into a shift when you are being pulled in ten different directions, being asked to do eight different things, have a stack of paperwork in front of you, and are covered in various kinds of disgusting bodily fluids, the motivation to continue working is RARELY the extra 20-40 dollars per hour you'd be getting. When you have a patient 'painting with their own feces' rarely is it the "knowledge of neurons" that you have the motivating factor to make it through your shift. When you have a 2 pound baby pulling a tube out for the 87th time that shift, rarely are you going to have enough motivation to get through the shift if you don't care. Money, scientific knowledge- great reasons for wanting to be nurse. If they are your only reasons you aren't going to be very happy.

Could you be a good nurse without compassion? Perhaps. I would think it would be EXTREMELY difficult though, and more importantly WHY would you ever want too?

For all the negative reasons there are about nursing, for most people, it is the general idea that they were able to do something good for their patients that in part make them stay in the field. Without that, I can't imagine even WANTING to put up with all the rest of the BS you'd have to put up with as a nurse.

Could you be a good nurse without compassion? Perhaps. But why would you EVER want to be one without compassion?

Seriousely, there are so many careers out there that are better suited for someone without compassion compared to nursing.

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.
Hmmm..........not that I am Freud or anything but: This is a possibility. TC comes from family in the medical field. Not hard to imagine mom coming home, while you have a cold and saying something to the effect of "Oh, thats nothing, you should have seen what I saw on the unit today. You're fine. That's how the world turns." Sometimes off duty nurses are not the most compassionate people in the world.

Say for instance TC missed a great school trip because of the flu and she was told "Thats how the world turns."

Oh geee, this is getting so................campy? IDK what to call it.

Cheesy soap opera references aside :p I think you're onto something. My ex (who was an oncologist) is from a medical family. Dad was an oncologist, grandfather was an oral surgeon, mother and maternal grandmother both RNs. My ex was not terribly sympathetic if one of the kids or I got sick. One day when I was having horrible morning sickness he told me to quit complaining because he saw much worse at work. He seemed compassionate during his residency but I know that some of the nurses he worked with thought he was rather cold.

He is also one of the most seriously unhappy people I've ever known. He always felt pressured into medicine because it was an expectation in his family and, although he's financially successful, he is miserable with his choice of careers.

Another friend of mine worked in a job he despised. He had great benefits and excellent pay but he frequently suffered from migraines due to the amount of stress he felt because he hated his job so much. I think job security and good pay are important but they aren't worth doing a job for which one is not suited or that one absolutely despises.

I'm keeping up! I just hadn't signed in. I am unsure as to how to reply to many of the comments without it being taken the wrong way - much like a large part my post was, unfortunately. I was just seeking advice to build a better foundation for my next decision - I don't want to argue or "disagree" with anyone because everyone is entitled to what they think.

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