What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
I had an infant screaming from a room about 6-8 rooms from the nurses' station. The infant was sleeping next to Mom (although we discouraged this). I went to the room since the baby would not quit crying and picked him up, took him to the nurse's station (this was at night), changed him and gave him a bottle. I then returned him to the crib. His Mom woke up about an hour later wanting a bottle so she could wake him up to feed. She angrily denied that I could have done what I said and her sleep all the way through it. This is my reason for saying: you might THINK you are aware and can awake easily, but why take the chance???
In the nicu where I work we encourage co-sleeping, mainly because of it´s positive effect on breastfeeding and bonding (not sure I spelled that right?).
We have a lot of mothers (and fathers) doing 24/7 kangaroo mother care with their preterm babies (I think the youngest was starting at 29 weeks) and most of them love it:p .
(KMC is when the babies spend all of their time, skin to skin, on one of their parents chest).
When my daughter was a baby and toddler she was a night owl. I was not. She would be up all night so I fell asleep one night with her in my bed. She slept most of the night also. Unfortunately she didn't like sleeping alone so she was in my bed til she was 10. Luckily I had no male in my life so that didn't cause a problem. She still is a night owl. I remember when she was 2 constantly asking me all night to "tell me a story". The purple cow who made the little calf lay down was her favorite.
So is there a consensus on a cutoff age for this?
my first wife always had the kids in our bed, I finally kicked each one out at about 3 or so cause I couldnt stand it. But not without alot of s*** from her. With her second husband, he is not so strong willed. I think it went to 7 or 8. i would think that may contribute to some psycological dependance issues.
Specializes in rehab; med/surg; l&d; peds/home care.
hi everyone~
just to chime in here, lol. i also co slept with both my kids, now 3 and 5. actually, my 5 year old still sleeps with me, but me 3 year old sleeps on his own. they did sleep in their cribs at times, but during the first 6 months or so, they slept with me. i was unable to breastfeed with both my kids, but i did pump and give them what i could, and give formula for the rest of their needs. i remember those nights, every hour or so, getting up to change baby, pump, make a bottle, change baby again, and then snuggle back in bed. i loved co sleeping. i loved hearing my baby breathe and they were both so much more happy next to me than in a crib. of course, i heard the negative remarks from my family, but i knew i would. i did try letting them sleep in a crib, but the whole family suffered when i tried that. after a few restless, sleepless nights, i co slept and did what i wanted and didn't listen to my family's remarks anymore. (you're spoiling them, blah blah). i love dr. sears and most of his philosophies (sp?).
on the nights i had to take a med (had a third degree tear! ouch! ouch!!), or i was super tired (had lupus and had a bad flare after each baby), i made sure dad was there to take care of baby. we are divorced now, but he was a good dad in the beginning.
just wanted to voice another opinion in for co-sleepers!
my first wife always had the kids in our bed, I finally kicked each one out at about 3 or so cause I couldnt stand it. But not without alot of s*** from her. With her second husband, he is not so strong willed. I think it went to 7 or 8. i would think that may contribute to some psycological dependance issues.
Are you my first husband?
My first husband was a fan of letting our son cry . . . the night he cried for over 3 hours and fell asleep in vomit was the last time he cried himself to sleep.
My husband now, loves co-sleeping. Our son is 4. When our second son was 12, he woke up from a bad dream and came in and slept at the end of our bed. No problem.
I'm not sure what the cutoff should be . . . maybe it depends on if you are a single parent . . mom/son or dad/daughter.
If you follow safe co-sleeping rules, you should have no problems, even if you sleep deeply.
And the real truth is, to each their own. If you don't want to co-sleep, dont. If you do, do it safely.
my first wife always had the kids in our bed, I finally kicked each one out at about 3 or so cause I couldnt stand it. But not without alot of s*** from her. With her second husband, he is not so strong willed. I think it went to 7 or 8. i would think that may contribute to some psycological dependance issues.
Actually, there was a long-term, well-designed, well-respected study I believe done at UCLA...sorry, don't have time to look up the link...but it followed families who practiced co-sleeping, and actually as adults, those who had co-slept were the most well-adjusted. (Of course, this could be due to other parenting practices associated with co-sleeping.) But the point is that no, there is absolutely no evidence that co-sleeping leads to "dependence issues."
I had an infant screaming from a room about 6-8 rooms from the nurses' station. The infant was sleeping next to Mom (although we discouraged this). I went to the room since the baby would not quit crying and picked him up, took him to the nurse's station (this was at night), changed him and gave him a bottle. I then returned him to the crib. His Mom woke up about an hour later wanting a bottle so she could wake him up to feed. She angrily denied that I could have done what I said and her sleep all the way through it. This is my reason for saying: you might THINK you are aware and can awake easily, but why take the chance???
My question is, WHY would you take a baby out of the mother's room without her being aware of it?
My question is, WHY would you take a baby out of the mother's room without her being aware of it?
What would have been more appropriate? To wake the mother and tell her that the baby has been crying? Then she would have been angry and resentful as well...I guess damn if you do damn if you dont. :coollook:
What would have been more appropriate? To wake the mother and tell her that the baby has been crying? Then she would have been angry and resentful as well...I guess damn if you do damn if you dont. :coollook:
Yes, IMO it would have been more appropraite. What's the point of security measures, if someone can just walk in your room and take your baby while you are sleeping, kwim? What would she have thought if she had wakened while the baby was out of the room? I imagine she would have freaked out. Waking her to say, the baby has been crying, would you like me to take him for a little while so you can sleep, would have been more appropriate. JMO.
Well, I've calmed screaming babies for exhausted mothers too without waking them up. I can't imagine the reaction if I woke one of them up and pointed at their crying baby. It isn't a security issue for a nurse to take a baby from a room.
Nichol, this is one of the reasons I don't advocate cosleeping without some serious safety measures. I've seen so many exhausted parents who think they are fine but aren't. No one ever thinks they are going to smother their baby, but people do it every year. I have a hard time believing people who say "Well, I would NEVER do that, I'm such a light sleeper" cause I just think, well no one thinks they are ever going to do it but it happens.
Well, I've calmed screaming babies for exhausted mothers too without waking them up. I can't imagine the reaction if I woke one of them up and pointed at their crying baby. It isn't a security issue for a nurse to take a baby from a room.
Nichol, this is one of the reasons I don't advocate cosleeping without some serious safety measures. I've seen so many exhausted parents who think they are fine but aren't. No one ever thinks they are going to smother their baby, but people do it every year. I have a hard time believing people who say "Well, I would NEVER do that, I'm such a light sleeper" cause I just think, well no one thinks they are ever going to do it but it happens.
The safe co-sleeping rules would not include a hospital bed I'm sure. Twin bed sized for one thing and no real way to keep an infant from falling off the bed.
I have never had a new mom able to sleep through a crying baby though - I do sometimes take the baby to the nursery for awhile though - do my assessment, give a bath. I'll rock the baby too - get it to sleep and take it back to the room, where both mom and babe can sleep for awhile. This of course depends on how busy our floor is. We do not have a staffed nursery.
Woke up this morning next to my four year old who started singing "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine" and held my hand. I sing that to him before he falls asleep. Great way to wake up. IMO.
Like I said, to each their own as long as they follow the safety rules - which I give every new parent.
I have never had a new mom able to sleep through a crying baby though
steph
I have seen it happen several times, maybe cause I worked OB only for so long. It surprised me when I first became a nurse and was working on PP, but it happened again and again. The first time it happened, I heard a baby crying when I was sitting at the nursing station and it went on for about 5-10 minutes. I finally decided to check on the mom because I thought she must be having trouble with something. Nope. She and her husband were both sound asleep, snoring and drooling. I got the baby changed, fed him in a rocking chair in the room, burped him and put him back to bed without them even moving. And ask anyone who knows me, I am not known for my quiet grace. I am constantly bumping into things, tripping or making a racket somehow. If parents can sleep through me, they can sleep through anything. And, yes, this was one of those "light sleeper" couples.:chuckle They were horrified when they woke up about 5 am and thought the baby hadn't eaten in 8 hours and very relieved when I told them I fed the baby about 1:30. Honestly, people can't possibly know what they will always do when they are sleeping. That's why the only way I would personally recommend co-sleeping is with serious safety measures involved. The benefits of co-sleeping can be great but not if one single baby dies because of it, so safety first is my motto. There are a lot of bedding inventions out there to help with this.
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
purplemania, BSN, RN
2,617 Posts
I had an infant screaming from a room about 6-8 rooms from the nurses' station. The infant was sleeping next to Mom (although we discouraged this). I went to the room since the baby would not quit crying and picked him up, took him to the nurse's station (this was at night), changed him and gave him a bottle. I then returned him to the crib. His Mom woke up about an hour later wanting a bottle so she could wake him up to feed. She angrily denied that I could have done what I said and her sleep all the way through it. This is my reason for saying: you might THINK you are aware and can awake easily, but why take the chance???