What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
\I just find it odd that ANYONE would breastfeed or bottlefeed a toddler!! Why would you do that to a child? I have a 17 month old and took him off the bottle at 12 months. Simply because I did not want him to become dependent on a bottle for COMFORT OR SUPPORT!! I also took his pacifier away at 10 months old for the same reason. I believe it is more for your benefit than the babies to breastfeed beyond a year old. I believe they will get all the nutrients they need in food that you should feed them. As for the whole milk statement.. what I was trying to say is... that with whole milk and feeding the right foods your baby will get more than enough nutrients to help produce the right amount of growth and development!!
PLEASE RE-READ
I said why would anyone breastfeed OR bottlefeed a toddler?? I am against both after 12 months of age. That is my opinion and I understand that is not the opinion of everyone here. But this board is for us to express our opinions. Let's just agree to disagree...
What more do you want people to say? It's normal, recommended and healthy for children to nurse beyond even 2 years. It does not cause them to be dependent, is actually shown to encourage independance and is in every way helpful and healthy for the child.
There really isn't much more to say. It IS normal, healthy and recommended. It is only because of a cycle in our culture that caused it to seem "odd". I don't blame Sherry for thinking the way she does, it is a common thought in out culture, but it is getting better. BTW Sherry bfing was not for my benefit. I do not particularly enjoy bfing but wanted to do what was best for my child. It took me five kids and 18 years of child rearing to realize that this was the best. I wish I knew back then what I know now..but back in the early 80's bfing was rare. IF I had stopped bfing as you suggest at age 12, my daughter would have been in the hospital. She has a kidney infection at age 18 months and would not eat, only bf. The doctor specifically stated that my bfing kept her hydrated and kept her out of the hospital.
IMHO sucking is a comfort measure not only for infants, but also for toddlers. Being a toddler is a frustrating experience. And yes my formula fed kids had bottles until they were close to 3. It is much easier to lose a bottle or have a grown up party than to try and break a thumb sucking problems...but that is my opinion.
Pumping does not efficiently empty the breast and eventually will cause the milk to diminish. So it is a short term option, but not for the long haul.
I'm glad you are asking questions. Keep them coming. :)
Why yes I am. Monkeys aren't told by others that bf a toddler is weird. From them we can determine how long breastfeeding would occur without societal influences.
I don't put it in a cup because 1) I don't own a pump, I don't like to pump and I certainly don't want to clean one 2) Why would I want to change the natural packaging of my milk. There is nothing wrong with a toddler nursing off a breast and nipple that was designed for him to use. My husband doesn't have a problem with it and neither do I. Also, any bf mother will tell you that the pleasure felt is an emotional, not physical, one and there is nothing sexual about it. And lastly because my breast, not a cup, was designed to nurse my baby. If God, mother nature or whoever you think designed us thought it was good enough then it is good enough for me. If I was meant to stop nursing a child at a certain time don't you think that either my milk would dry up or my child would not want to nurse.
I NEVER said that it was a sexual thing!!!.. Also if that was the case.. Are you going to breastfeed until your child is 7 or 8?? OR until your milk dries up... If not until 7 or 8 .. explain why?? Too old at 7 or 8..
I NEVER said that it was a sexual thing!!!.. Also if that was the case.. Are you going to breastfeed until your child is 7 or 8?? OR until your milk dries up... If not until 7 or 8 .. explain why?? Too old at 7 or 8..
I am all for natural weaning. I have no idea how long I will nurse for. My milk dried up with my daughter just past two, my son self-weaned earlier than that. And unfortunately I see my baby boy starting to show the signs of weaning. I hope to make it to 2.5.
I NEVER said that it was a sexual thing!!!.. Also if that was the case.. Are you going to breastfeed until your child is 7 or 8?? OR until your milk dries up... If not until 7 or 8 .. explain why?? Too old at 7 or 8..
I think it depends on the child. Some children self wean at age 1 or 2. Some need a little encouragement as the mother sees them moving to a new stage. It the same decision process that goes into any new stage for a child. When are they ready to get rid of the trianing wheels, when are they ready to spend a night away from home..etc. Only a mother and child can decide when is the time to stop. If a mother is uncomfortable going past one year, they she shouldn't.
Please don't take this the wrong way... BUT.. Why did you breastfeed sooo long???? 3 YEARS OLD??????? That seems a bit odd. Would you have kept him on a bottle that long? After 1 they can have WHOLE milk. Please respond I am very curious why you would breastfeed a toddler.
I too breastfed my 3 sons- 1st until 15 months, 2nd to 32 months, and 3rd until 3 1/2. They all weaned off the breast when they were ready, no bottles of formula, occasionally a bottle of expressed milk if I happened to pump once in a while. After the age of 1, breastmilk is not their only nourishment,and by 2, nursing is more of a comfort measure and not done every 2 hours like a newborn/infant would. At 3, it was a once in a while, lets cuddle with mom or I'm tired/upset kind of thing. It was the best thing I ever did for my boys, and the memory of them pulling away from the breast with a big, milky grin before they went back to nursing is one of my favorite memories of my babies.
I also co-slept with them all. They are now 23, 18 and 15 years old. I slept with them in the crook of my arm, facing away from their father as he was a very large man and could sleep through anything. I on the other hand woke up in the same position as I fell asleep and any little sound they made, I was awake. They never had a chance to get into a full blown cry, one grunt and they were nursed. They are all very secure young men, never any separation anxiety when they went to school, in fact, I was the one who cried, LOL...
Both are very personal choices to make, but I feel it was the best choice.
I NEVER said that it was a sexual thing!!!.. Also if that was the case.. Are you going to breastfeed until your child is 7 or 8?? OR until your milk dries up... If not until 7 or 8 .. explain why?? Too old at 7 or 8..
Until it actually happens and you look up one day and say " Huh, I'm nursing my 6 year old." For the record milk production is supply and demand do it technically doesn't "dry up" just because your child breastfeeds once every couple of days. I personally never set a limit on breastfeeding- my husband has severe autoimmune problems and I felt my children deserved to have every benefit that breastfeeding may provide for them to lessen their chances or decrease the severity.
I won't try to convince you of the normalness of it, I could invite you to LLL meetings so you could experience more breastfeeding is normal experiences and the importance that support during the first year provides. I would love to see this for every health care worker- becasue really you run into breastfeeding issues in every realm of care. Because really you aren't going to run into many children being breastfed at even a year old- even though that is spelled out in the Healthy People 2010 as a goal- and we need to see even more. And there are lots of people in Mississippi working really hard to suppor this goal.
Also if you are close to Jackson, there is the MS Breastfeeding Coalition that meets once a month. This is for WIC workers, Doctors, Nurses,LCs and any one interested in BF.
Ultimately, you may never personally agree with breastfeeding beyond a year. But you need to be able to help your patients and their families to work around breastfeeding issues because it is important to them and where to get information and support for women who are/want to breastfeed... You don't have to agree with them, but you do need to know when to refer them to where they can get support and correct information.
pediatric surgery, surgery for a bf mother, rape of a bf mother, sudden death of a bf child, hospitilization of a bf baby, mammograms of BF women, bone density calculations of BF women, meds for a sinus infection for a mom who is bf, moms/babies with special needs, the little old grandma on her death bed who wants her great gandbaby there before she goes, and you guessed it the baby has to eat while in the room so mom breastfeeds him, these are just a small smattering of examples that I can come up with of the top of my head.
So Sherry, you aren't alone in your this is beyond what *you* could do-- about 75% of the population in the US is right where you are (or actually not even that far!) But please let us help to educate *Nurse Sherry* so she can help her clients.
The normal age of human weaning without interference is between 2-5 years. Children can wean beyond those averages for different reasons, but it is normal and natural for a child of three to still be nursing.
Nursing a toddler is not like nursing a newborn. You are not providing all their nutrition, you are providing comfort and an immunological boost. My daughter who is almost three still nurses, usually once every other day or so, for just a minute or two. She's been cutting down naturally, with very little encouragement from me.
Physically, it continues to be beneficial to them, promoting proper jaw development and giving immunological benefits. Emotionally, it is beneficial as a source of comfort and closeness, especially in parents who work/go to school, as it is a time for them to reconnect with their mom. It does not foster dependance, it is not sexual, it does not stunt them nor is that the only thing they are fed by three.
The WHO and AAFP currently recommend nursing for at least two years and then as long after as is mutually agreeable to mom and child.
edited to fix tags
In answer to another poster's question about why I would breastfeed a toddler . . . . see above.
MS Kathy - very good point about educating nurses to help moms out who have made this choice and not judge them. Thank you.
Jolie - ok, co-sleeping. I think I've said all I want to say over and over . . . . . I'm going to educate my patients to co-sleep safely because some WILL co-sleep. My role is an advocate. I preach safety and the benefits of co-sleeping. Everyone gets to choose how they wish to parent their children. I do not believe in making anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. It is not the end of the world if a child sleeps in a crib.
However, I appreciated being able to catch my kids before they fully woke up and nurse them back to sleep. I got more sleep that way. Bumping around in the middle of the night after a child goes into a full-blown cry where they wouldn't go back to sleep even if I nursed them was not the way to go for me.
It's sad that people are so disgusted by what comes naturally. I hope Sherry, that your disgust is not so obvious when with patients who choose to nurse beyond one year.
What choices you make for yourself, are not necessarily those of your patients, nor should they be.
And after 11 pages, what else is there to say about co sleeping?
It's sad that people are so disgusted by what comes naturally. I hope Sherry, that your disgust is not so obvious when with patients who choose to nurse beyond one year.
What choices you make for yourself, are not necessarily those of your patients, nor should they be.
And after 11 pages, what else is there to say about co sleeping?
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I think I've said all I want to say over and over . . . . . I'm going to educate my patients to co-sleep safely because some WILL co-sleep. My role is an advocate. I preach safety and the benefits of co-sleeping. Everyone gets to choose how they wish to parent their children. I do not believe in making anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. It is not the end of the world if a child sleeps in a crib. 
sherry730
49 Posts
PLEASE RE-READ
I said why would anyone breastfeed OR bottlefeed a toddler?? I am against both after 12 months of age. That is my opinion and I understand that is not the opinion of everyone here. But this board is for us to express our opinions. Let's just agree to disagree...