What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
Whoa now.... thems fightin' words!!! That kind of generalization is going to make a lot of folks VERY steamed! Uh oh....there is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my babies, including letting them sleep next to their mommy.
well, I see my previous quote ruffled some feathers. but if you watch the show, the fact remains that this woman burried 3 of her normal, healthy babies with no other signs of foul play. you could that see she hurt way more when she learned that most likely she killed her kids, and almost wouldn't accept the results. I personally could not live with that pain, so therefore I will put my children in a crib.
by the way, the night her twins died she had a few drinks but the first child died following an afternoon nap.
well, I see my previous quote ruffled some feathers. but if you watch the show, the fact remains that this woman burried 3 of her normal, healthy babies with no other signs of foul play. you could that see she hurt way more when she learned that most likely she killed her kids, and almost wouldn't accept the results. I personally could not live with that pain, so therefore I will put my children in a crib.
by the way, the night her twins died she had a few drinks but the first child died following an afternoon nap.
I seriously doubt someone could roll over on two separate occasions and kill 3 children with out being seriously impaired. How big was she that she could roll over onto two babies. I would have to see all the facts but rolling over as a cause of death sounds very fishy to me. You should never sleep with an infant if you have been drinking or took nyquil or other drugs. Seems like there is a pattern emerging here.
I could make a blanket statement that only hardhearted parents put their tiny infants in a huge crib away from human contact after being comforted in a safe warm environment for many months. How terrified your children must have been to wake up alone. I think to co-sleep or not is a personally decision and you comment was rude and uncalled for.
I seriously doubt someone could roll over on two separate occasions and kill 3 children with out being seriously impaired. How big was she that she could roll over onto two babies. I would have to see all the facts but rolling over as a cause of death sounds very fishy to me. You should never sleep with an infant if you have been drinking or took nyquil or other drugs. Seems like there is a pattern emerging here.
I could make a blanket statement that only hardhearted parents put their tiny infants in a huge crib away from human contact after being comforted in a safe warm environment for many months. How terrified your children must have been to wake up alone. I think to co-sleep or not is a personally decision and you comment was rude and uncalled for.
I agree with you and have to say that the comment about being uncaring by co-sleeping was a broad and rude and unsubstantiated claim.
The woman who rolled over on her twins was impaired by alcohol - something that is contraindicated for co-sleeping and spelled out in the recommendations for being safe.
All the research shows SIDS rates are lowered when parents co-sleep. You just have to follow some simple and safe rules . . . which I send home with each family.
Alcohol has already often been stated as a contraindication for co-sleeping.
There are people who use rickety old cribs that are dangerous, should we therefore make such a blanket statement that if you love your child, you won't put them in any crib? Do you see how ludicrous that sounds?
Co-sleep, don't co-sleep, but do either one carefully and smartly.
Actually I think the "culture" in America does have something to do with it. The last 30 years or so have focused on women being able to have a career and on working. Being free from having children, at least having them early in your life. The focus has been on the adults.
Breastfeeding moms are sometimes treated badly, especially if they discreetly b/f in public or b/f into toddlerhood. People who don't circ their babies are thought of as the "nut and granola and Berkenstock-wearing" type. People who co-sleep are thought of as generating an unhealthy co-dependency with their children. People who don't let their babies "cry it out" are thought of as wimpy parents.
The stats for co-sleeping overwhelmingly show it to be a safe thing to do if you follow the rules. That is why I teach the rules to pp moms.
steph
I co-slept with my babies from the time we were in the hospital. My boys are circed and I am still breastfeeding my youngest who will be 2 in September. I wish I were the nut and granola type, then maybe I could loose some weight. :chuckle When my daughter was admitted to the hospital at just under a year the nurse was kind enough to get rid of the crib and get a regular hospital bed. I don't know how people can think parents have any chance at hogging the bed. I must have had marks on my butt from the rail. By the way I slid a pillow in the empty space between the rail and bed so there was no extra room. Of course my daughter also slept cuddled up in my arms. I was very aware of that gap. What other way does a sick child sleep but in a parents comforting arms.
It is amazing the amount of room a child can take up on the bed. Many times with our babies my husband and I were on the edges of the bed while our child had legs and arms outstretched in the giant X position.
I co-slept with my babies from the time we were in the hospital. My boys are circed and I am still breastfeeding my youngest who will be 2 in September. I wish I were the nut and granola type, then maybe I could loose some weight. :chuckle When my daughter was admitted to the hospital at just under a year the nurse was kind enough to get rid of the crib and get a regular hospital bed. I don't know how people can think parents have any chance at hogging the bed. I must have had marks on my butt from the rail. By the way I slid a pillow in the empty space between the rail and bed so there was no extra room. Of course my daughter also slept cuddled up in my arms. I was very aware of that gap. What other way does a sick child sleep but in a parents comforting arms.
It is amazing the amount of room a child can take up on the bed. Many times with our babies my husband and I were on the edges of the bed while our child had legs and arms outstretched in the giant X position.
:chuckle My son is 4 and there is no way we could ever roll over on him and not know it. :) I breastfed him until he was a bit over 3.
Actually, after the newborn stage I have a hard time understanding how anyone can roll on a child and not know it. Even in infanthood, I was super-aware of my kids. I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in.
I'm not advocating that everyone co-sleep and I'm not saying that parents who put their kids in a crib are bad . . . .I think to each their own. But the safety features of both should be given to parents. Like with cribs - those crib pads that surround the rails are now considered unsafe. Also, stuffed animals, pillows, and blankets are not considered safe. Best to dress the baby in a warm onsie.
This doesn't even have to be an argument. As long as each family does what it wants to safely, there should be no problem.
i seriously doubt someone could roll over on two separate occasions and kill 3 children with out being seriously impaired. how big was she that she could roll over onto two babies. i would have to see all the facts but rolling over as a cause of death sounds very fishy to me. you should never sleep with an infant if you have been drinking or took nyquil or other drugs. seems like there is a pattern emerging here.
i could make a blanket statement that only hardhearted parents put their tiny infants in a huge crib away from human contact after being comforted in a safe warm environment for many months. how terrified your children must have been to wake up alone. i think to co-sleep or not is a personally decision and you comment was rude and uncalled for.
sorry, but the second posting was to clarify any comments that made parents who co-sleep sound uncaring. of course a mother who sleeps with her children must love them to want to keep them next to her (unless she had no place else to put them)! i was just stating my opinion and what i plan to do, and i don't find anything rude or uncalled for about that.
All the research shows SIDS rates are lowered when parents co-sleep. You just have to follow some simple and safe rules . . . which I send home with each family.
steph
Steph,
Do you have an article or research that I could look up to support this? The reason I ask is that I've read articles that state just the opposite. It is my understanding that babies who sleep in their parents' room, but in a separate bassinette or crib have lower rates of SIDS than babies who sleep in their own room. But the SIDS rates increase again for babies who co-sleep, to levels even higher than infants sleeping in their own rooms.
The Omaha World Herald ran a feature article 2 weeks ago (July 17) on SIDS deaths. The article focused on the investigative process that follows sudden unexplained infant deaths. Researchers and forensic pathologists expressed concern that a significant number of cases untimately labeled as SIDS were possibly suffocation deaths due to inappropriate sleeping conditions (unsafe cribs, excessive bedding materials, etc.) or or "overlaying" by a parent during co-sleeping. They advocated making a notation on the death certificate when a SIDS victim was found to be sleeping in dangerous conditions or with a parent so that researchers could begin to sort out the actual incidence of SIDS vs accidental suffocation. Unfortunately, there is no universal standard for doing so, so records vary from location to location.
I'll see if I can find the article and post a link. It listed every SIDS death in the city of Omaha for this year, and gave a brief description of the circumstances surrounding each one. I was surprised at the percentage that occured during co-sleeping, although most did not follow the safety guidelines that previous posters have described.
I'm not anti-co-sleeping, just very concerned that we give parents accurate information. I co-slept with my youngest, who was a perpetual nursing machine. She and I had our own bed, and I used only very lightweight bedding. I also did not push the bed up against a wall, as I feared she could become wedged between the bed and the wall. I thought it less likely for her to be injured by a 2 foot fall onto soft carpet, so I had no barriers around the bed at all.
:chuckle My son is 4 and there is no way we could ever roll over on him and not know it. :) I breastfed him until he was a bit over 3.
Actually, after the newborn stage I have a hard time understanding how anyone can roll on a child and not know it. Even in infanthood, I was super-aware of my kids. I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in.
I'm not advocating that everyone co-sleep and I'm not saying that parents who put their kids in a crib are bad . . . .I think to each their own. But the safety features of both should be given to parents. Like with cribs - those crib pads that surround the rails are now considered unsafe. Also, stuffed animals, pillows, and blankets are not considered safe. Best to dress the baby in a warm onsie.
This doesn't even have to be an argument. As long as each family does what it wants to safely, there should be no problem.
steph
Please don't take this the wrong way... BUT.. Why did you breastfeed sooo long???? 3 YEARS OLD??????? That seems a bit odd. Would you have kept him on a bottle that long? After 1 they can have WHOLE milk. Please respond I am very curious why you would breastfeed a toddler.
That's just a few of them. And many of the studies that state potential risk with cosleeping do not factor in unsafe cosleeping practices. Additionally, it is seeming that there is an increased risk if the mother smokes, even if not in bed, but that toxins from smoking are released in the night while she breathes. Interesting.
The normal age of human weaning without interference is between 2-5 years. Children can wean beyond those averages for different reasons, but it is normal and natural for a child of three to still be nursing.
Nursing a toddler is not like nursing a newborn. You are not providing all their nutrition, you are providing comfort and an immunological boost. My daughter who is almost three still nurses, usually once every other day or so, for just a minute or two. She's been cutting down naturally, with very little encouragement from me.
Physically, it continues to be beneficial to them, promoting proper jaw development and giving immunological benefits. Emotionally, it is beneficial as a source of comfort and closeness, especially in parents who work/go to school, as it is a time for them to reconnect with their mom. It does not foster dependance, it is not sexual, it does not stunt them nor is that the only thing they are fed by three.
The WHO and AAFP currently recommend nursing for at least two years and then as long after as is mutually agreeable to mom and child.
Please don't take this the wrong way... BUT.. Why did you breastfeed sooo long???? 3 YEARS OLD??????? That seems a bit odd. Would you have kept him on a bottle that long? After 1 they can have WHOLE milk. Please respond I am very curious why you would breastfeed a toddler.
Nothing wrong with breastfeeding a 3 year old as long as both mother and child want that. Another part of parenting that our culture has damaged. I bf my last child until she was almost three. Sorry but whole milk is not as complete as breast milk is, so I don't get your comparision???? We need to be a little more understanding of the choices that mothers make with regard to thier kids. We all have different circumstances and lives and we need to pick what works for our children. Each child is different and not everything works for every child. As a mother of five I can tell you that I did not raise each of my kids the same...I had to modify and change as needed. I think bfing is the best, but if you can't or don't want to, they formula works. Just love you kids and follow your heart - as long as it isn't harmful.
BTW please explain to me what is damaging about bfing a toddler? Why do you find it odd? Believe it or not I thought it was odd until I did it.
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
kenni
75 Posts
well, I see my previous quote ruffled some feathers. but if you watch the show, the fact remains that this woman burried 3 of her normal, healthy babies with no other signs of foul play. you could that see she hurt way more when she learned that most likely she killed her kids, and almost wouldn't accept the results. I personally could not live with that pain, so therefore I will put my children in a crib.
by the way, the night her twins died she had a few drinks but the first child died following an afternoon nap.