What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
This has nothing to do with "culture". Like I said before, people can and will do what they want. I do think however new parents should be educated on the risks of co-sleeping. Let them know the real dangers of it. They'll do what they want anyway. I have just heard parents in agony telling their brain dead infant to "breath baby, breath" during brain death studies. My children did not sleep with me (and this was before I was a PICU RN) and they are happy and fine. It's a choice, just like many choices we make as parents. We live with the choices we make.
Actually I think the "culture" in America does have something to do with it. The last 30 years or so have focused on women being able to have a career and on working. Being free from having children, at least having them early in your life. The focus has been on the adults.
Breastfeeding moms are sometimes treated badly, especially if they discreetly b/f in public or b/f into toddlerhood. People who don't circ their babies are thought of as the "nut and granola and Berkenstock-wearing" type. People who co-sleep are thought of as generating an unhealthy co-dependency with their children. People who don't let their babies "cry it out" are thought of as wimpy parents.
The stats for co-sleeping overwhelmingly show it to be a safe thing to do if you follow the rules. That is why I teach the rules to pp moms.
I think it made perfect sense, and was polite. :) You're right. I'm sure parents who have rolled over on their infants, never thought that they would.
I can say that I know I have never, because 1. I haven't, and 2. I wake up in the same position I fell asleep in.
I agree, Fergus your comment was respectful.
One of the things to think about is that it is way different to roll over on an infant and roll over on an older child, who will have the strength to wiggle about and wake you up. For those who are worried, those beds that attach to the side are a good idea.
There is nothing wrong with putting your child in a crib. Nothing. I'm not advocating anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. My only issue is being able to EDUCATE parents. I don't care that my hospital puts the warning about sleeping with your baby on the d/c instructions. I'm gonna teach them how to do it safely. This obviously sticks in my craw because I feel we do a disservice to, especially brand new parents, by not talking about something that alot of people obviously do - co-sleep.
There is an elephant in the room and I'm gonna talk about it. :)
Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.
Actually I think the "culture" in America does have something to do with it. The last 30 years or so have focused on women being able to have a career and on working. Being free from having children, at least having them early in your life. The focus has been on the adults.
Breastfeeding moms are sometimes treated badly, especially if they discreetly b/f in public or b/f into toddlerhood. People who don't circ their babies are thought of as the "nut and granola and Berkenstock-wearing" type. People who co-sleep are thought of as generating an unhealthy co-dependency with their children. People who don't let their babies "cry it out" are thought of as wimpy parents.
The stats for co-sleeping overwhelmingly show it to be a safe thing to do if you follow the rules. That is why I teach the rules to pp moms.
steph
Steph, that was exactly what I was trying to express in another thread. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "stop being a wimp and let that baby cry it out"....or "when are you going to get her sleeping by herself" and, my favorite, "you're feeding her AGAIN, get her some formula."
There are different ways to parent for different people. No one's saying one way is better than the other, but I can't help but think that too much focus is placed on trying to mold a baby to fit into your life rather than changing your life to fit your baby.
(and no, I am not saying that if you put your baby in a crib, or bottle feed etc etc that you are a substandard parent....I am just making a generalized statement about the concept of parenthood in general.) :sofahider
I just recently watched a show on HBO that was about a mother who lost 3 of her children due to "unknown causes". This woman also co-slept. The first baby was diagnosed with SIDS. Then she woke up one morning and her twin boys were dead(I think this was about 3 years later). They did all kinds of tests in the house to see if they died because of environmental factors, and then did genetic tests. Everything turned out fine. She took a lie detector test that proved she did not murder her children. Then finally she was told that the only cause of her childrens death was due to rolling over on them. This poor woman was so upset, and she could not believe it. She said there was no possible way that couldve happened, her bed was huge and they slept on the seperate side, ect. It was very hard for her to accept. Then she blamed the information that had been given to her that co-sleeping is ok. She said everything she was told and read stressed the benefits of co-sleeping. So I think co-sleeping is for some people and not others. I believe there are dangers to co-sleeping. The doctor on the TV show said something like 30 percent of all SIDS cases were due to parents rolling over on their babies, and the reason cribs started being used in the 1800's was because so many infants were dying by roll overs. I'm not trying to say that if you co-sleep with your infant youre going to roll over on them, I dont think that, I just hope that parents who do co-sleep think about the risks. I mean, I am a light sleeper. I wake up every time I roll over and hear the slightest noise. My husband on the other hand, can sleep through anything! So I will never co-sleep just because of my husband, but I dont think there would be a problem if it was just me.
I don't have a problem with sleeping with your little one in the crook of your arm, I did that with mine, and it was much easier just flipping the baby over to the other side to nurse next time he woke up. As long as your baby has his own space, and can fall asleep by himself, that's fine. Unfortunately, some babies never learn to put themselves to sleep, which is sad for them, and difficult for mom. My boys did go to bed on their own, and had a regular bedtime, but if they woke in the night, they would come to my bed. My youngest frequently came into our room, until he was about 7 years old.
In the hospital, I worry more about babies going to ground then being squashed. In the last few years, we've had several babies fall, some held by mom, and some by dad.
My oldest grandbaby is now able to sleep in her own bed, after spending most of the last three years crossways in her parents bed. Her sister has always slept in her crib, on her tummy, the only way she would sleep.
I just recently watched a show on HBO that was about a mother who lost 3 of her children due to "unknown causes". This woman also co-slept. The first baby was diagnosed with SIDS. Then she woke up one morning and her twin boys were dead(I think this was about 3 years later). They did all kinds of tests in the house to see if they died because of environmental factors, and then did genetic tests. Everything turned out fine. She took a lie detector test that proved she did not murder her children. Then finally she was told that the only cause of her childrens death was due to rolling over on them.
..........
The doctor on the TV show said something like 30 percent of all SIDS cases were due to parents rolling over on their babies,
.........
My husband on the other hand, can sleep through anything! So I will never co-sleep just because of my husband, but I dont think there would be a problem if it was just me.
I think if it was a case of mom rolling over on the babies and smothering them, there wouldn't have been a need for all the other tests, kwim? I was under the impression that the diagnosis of SIDS results when there is not a determinable cause of death. Sounds like scare tactics to me. JMO.
What show was this, btw? I'd be interested in watching it.
As far as hubby rolling over on baby, don't co sleep with him. :chuckle
I think if it was a case of mom rolling over on the babies and smothering them, there wouldn't have been a need for all the other tests, kwim? I was under the impression that the diagnosis of SIDS results when there is not a determinable cause of death. Sounds like scare tactics to me. JMO.
What show was this, btw? I'd be interested in watching it.
As far as hubby rolling over on baby, don't co sleep with him. :chuckle
I agree with you, the show sounds weird to me . . .something is missing. I'd be interested in what the name of the show was too so I could order it from HBO.
As far as hubby rolling over on baby, I AGREE WITH YOU! :chuckle
Actually, I'm sure many of the people who coslept and inadvertantly smothered them weren't thinking at all.
I can't believe there are people who have so little awareness when they sleep. I have never rolled over on a teddy bear, much less a child.
Good point. Makes you wonder how parents wake up in the middle of the night to go check on their baby in the next room just to make sure they are breathing. And yet, they wouldn't wake up with a lump under them.
Good point. Makes you wonder how parents wake up in the middle of the night to go check on their baby in the next room just to make sure they are breathing. And yet, they wouldn't wake up with a lump under them.
Personally, I can't imagine rolling on a child and not knowing it - I remember after having my kids that I had a super-tuned awareness of them, even in another room. If they made a sound, I was awake and in their room.
Everyone sleeps differently though - some must be very heavy sleepers. I guess in that case, you don't co-sleep. Another reason to teach safe co-sleeping rules to my new parents.
Actually, I'm sure many of the people who coslept and inadvertantly smothered them weren't thinking at all.
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I think that might be a little harsh. Some of them probably just don't know how soundly they can sleep when they are very sleep deprived (like most new parents are). Honest mistakes happen.
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
Actually I think the "culture" in America does have something to do with it. The last 30 years or so have focused on women being able to have a career and on working. Being free from having children, at least having them early in your life. The focus has been on the adults.
Breastfeeding moms are sometimes treated badly, especially if they discreetly b/f in public or b/f into toddlerhood. People who don't circ their babies are thought of as the "nut and granola and Berkenstock-wearing" type. People who co-sleep are thought of as generating an unhealthy co-dependency with their children. People who don't let their babies "cry it out" are thought of as wimpy parents.
The stats for co-sleeping overwhelmingly show it to be a safe thing to do if you follow the rules. That is why I teach the rules to pp moms.
steph