What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
I don't know the studies, but I do have alot of experience going thru brain death criteria with babies that have slept with parents. It is always a devastating experience for the parents and staff. What's worse that it is completely preventable. People can do or say what they want. I would recommend to anyone not to sleep with their infant.
co-sleeping has been going on since we lived in caves. We slept with my daughter until she didn't want to - meanwhile she is an A student, etc. etc., and a wonderful teenager. Best of all, she is closer to us than most teens are to their parents. The studies will not tell anything because many people lie about it because they know this culture frowns upon it.
What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
(After I woke up this morning with 3 kids in my bed.... :chuckle )
I have always slept with my babies....makes nursing so much easier and lets you get more sleep as well. My 2 year old still sleeps with either her daddy or me. I know from experience that they will eventually go into their own beds in their own time. That being said, I would not recommend it for everyone. I happen to be very aware when my babies sleep with me. I have never rolled over or "lost track" of my babies when they were in bed with me. But not everyone is like that. That's why I wouldn't necessarily endorse co-sleeping. I'd be too afraid of the heavy sleepers out there unintentionally doing harm to their baby. So I can completely understand why co-sleeping is not endorsed and is even discouraged. But, to be honest, some of my fondest memories are of cold winter mornings snuggling with my baby in our warm bed while she was nursing, and her every once and while breaking away to give me a great big milky smile and then snuggle back into me.
This is the key.. I am bid supporter of co-sleeping, but it's not for everyone. Without my babes in the bed I sleep pretty soundly but when they were babies and in bed with me I really probably only half slept... laying on one side with them in the crook of my arm and opposite my husband who certainly would have rolled over on them. I have seen the cribs that attach to the bed and I think they are wonderful but they were around when mine were little so we just put a guard rail up. Oh this thread makes me want to snuggle them all up again... though they'd have nothing to do with it now!
Once you see that, you will ber very anti that. Everyone moves when they sleep, simple as that.
Actually, I really hate to say anything, but I'm sure this is a problem that not only I have. I don't naturally roll over in my sleep. I don't know if its fear of something like that (I have 3 cats who sleep with me), or something else, but I actually have to wake up to roll over. My mother slept with my little brother in the bed (dunno if she did with me), and my grandmother did the same thing with the both of us. They felt it was not only more relaxing for them to have us in the bed with them where they KNEW we were safe, but it made us sleep sleep better durring the night as well (probably b/c we felt safer with them than away).
In general, if you have good 'bed awareness', there should be no concern for rolling over on your child. I don't fall out of bed, I would never roll over on a pet, I really don't move much at night at all. If you have problems with falling out of bed, then I would definitely not recommend cosleeping - it shows a lack of awareness of "boundries" while sleeping. And of course, no one taking anything sedating, including OTC or RX medications, alcohol or illegal drugs should cosleep. Those who are morbidly obese or are otherwise limited in their body awareness should not cosleep.
When my babies sleep with me, we sleep face to face, their head in the crook of my arm. I got more sleep that way, my milk was more plentiful and we both felt secure. I thank God for cosleeping because one night my son had croup and I didn't think it was that bad, but he ended up choking and it was absolutely silent. If I had been in another room, even with a monitor, I never would have known.
My 27 year old cousin slept with her parents when she was a kid. And when she was a teenager. And to this day she still sleeps with them. Very odd. I have a complex about letting my 2 year old son sleep with us because of her. I wish I didn't because I love it when he gets up in the middle of the night if he had a bad dream or something and climbs into bed with us, standing at the side of the bed with his stuffed elmo saying "wanna sleep up there with you". But I still get a twinge and think of my cousin who is so strange. I'm not saying she's strange because of the co-sleeping, but I do relate it to that. Guess I'm gonna have to put a stop to it before he goes to college:) .
Your 27 year old cousin, I think, never grew up. Go ahead and relish the time you have with your kid, because one day he's going to push you away. At some point, and to varying degrees, all kids must do this to grow up. They come back again, but I think this is a necessary process to "individualize" or whatever psychological term you use. It's my observation that the closer kids are to their parents, the more they fly with coup with confidence. At some point, they become good adult friends, that is, if you did your job right.
Of course, I don't know your cousin, but she has some reason that she didn't spread her wings and fly.
My 27 year old cousin slept with her parents when she was a kid. And when she was a teenager. And to this day she still sleeps with them. Very odd. I have a complex about letting my 2 year old son sleep with us because of her. I wish I didn't because I love it when he gets up in the middle of the night if he had a bad dream or something and climbs into bed with us, standing at the side of the bed with his stuffed elmo saying "wanna sleep up there with you". But I still get a twinge and think of my cousin who is so strange. I'm not saying she's strange because of the co-sleeping, but I do relate it to that. Guess I'm gonna have to put a stop to it before he goes to college:) .
All my children have coslept with me. My 17 month old sleeps with me now (still breastfeeds) and has since the hospital (he did in the hospital too and nobody said a word). I wouldn't have it any other way. I think its horrible that we take them from hearing our heartbeat and being with us to throwing them into a cold lonely crib by themselves! Too cruel for me!
Like others have mentioned, when I have kids I want to use one of those 3-sided cribs that attaches to the edge of my bed. Seems safe and secure, yet still extra-close! I once had a puppy who weighed two pounds who snuggled next to me while I slept and I never rolled on her. That would have been devastating, and I think, in retrospect I might not do the same thing again with such a tiny creature, no matter how sure I am of my cautious sleeping habits.
Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.
I think that the risk for co-sleeping with an infant is the threat of rolling onto the infant during sleep not SIDs. Many small infants have died this way. That said. I have to admit my infant slept in his crib until the age of approx. 8-9 months. When he was old enough to sit up I and give me problems going back to sleep I consulted of all things my paster's wife. She have 6 children of her own. Her response was. She made her first child sleep in her own bed. This child was the child who clung to her legs with around others. THis child clung to her when it was time to go to sunday school class etc. When her other children came along she was tired and told her spouse I will put them to bed each night but when they wake up they can stay in our bed if that is what it takes so I can get some sleep myself. The result of this is her last five children all were outgoing, self assured never giving her the 'clinging' problems her first child did. Could this mean that the children who were allowed to stay with their parent felt assured in their love and not abandoned to room to be alone. Also I do not like to sleep alone so why would my child. Since my talk with my friend I have let my child come into my room when he wakes up in the night. I want him to feel I am there for him and he is not ever a burdon on me.
I hope this helps.
Marilee
I have found this to be the case in my experience with other moms& kids as well. Of course, this isn't a scientific study, just my personal observations. I have noticed that the moms who let their babies "cry it out" at night and didn't respond to them after say, about 6 months of age, have the most dependent children when they are toddlers and even into school age. Dependent to the extreme that only mom can get them a drink, dad can't. Won't go to anyone else. I can understand that type of behavior at 8 months old, but at 5 years old? However, my kids never really had that much of a problem going off to Sunday school, a friend's house, camp, etc. I think it's a security thing that started when they were infants. They knew I'd always be there, and could count on when they cried I'd come. I don't know....but I remember a book I read about mothering and it said, "How would you feel if you went to your husband upset, lonely, or scared, and he just left you alone in a room to cry by yourself? Why would you do that to your infant?"
That always stuck with me, and I never could let my babies cry it out!
All my children have coslept with me. My 17 month old sleeps with me now (still breastfeeds) and has since the hospital (he did in the hospital too and nobody said a word). I wouldn't have it any other way. I think its horrible that we take them from hearing our heartbeat and being with us to throwing them into a cold lonely crib by themselves! Too cruel for me!
I have a 17 month old too :rotfl: born FEB 22,2004.. ANYWAY.. I also have a 7 year old and both of my children slept with me and my husband.. The youngest one still does. I would not trade it for the world. It has brought me and my children closer!! BUT I would not advise everyone to co-sleep with their children, It obviously isn't for everyone.
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
kzyndarn
3 Posts
I don't know the studies, but I do have alot of experience going thru brain death criteria with babies that have slept with parents. It is always a devastating experience for the parents and staff. What's worse that it is completely preventable. People can do or say what they want. I would recommend to anyone not to sleep with their infant.
Karen PICU RN