I'm in my psych rotation right now and there is a male classmate that is making me (female) feel increasingly uncomfortable. I had been getting strange vibes from him ever since 1st semester, but had nothing concrete to back up my vibes till yesterday.
We were in a meeting with the activities director for the facility we are at to discuss what to expect when going out in the community with the clients. The activities director mentioned there are some clients who like to strip their clothes off and run around naked. Upon hearing this, my classmate (male) pointed to me and said in a monotone voice, "yeah, she likes to do that too." I didn't find this funny and thought what he said was bizarre since I have barely interacted with this person. I felt very uncomfortable the rest of the day having to be around him, but really didn't start to think about how strange it was till the activities director came up to me and another student (female) and said something seems "off" with my classmate (male) because of some of the things he's overheard him say throughout the day including what he said in the meeting that morning.
What do you think of this? Do you think I should tell an instructor about it? I'm thinking I might want to for future clinicals because I feel like if I get stuck in a clinical group with him again, it's going to have a negative affect on me.
Always go with your gut. Some guys are inappropriate and it is annoying, but you know that they are harmless and would never do anything to you. There are other guys that act inappropriately and you get an uncomfortable "creeped out" feeling from them. It's these guys that you have to watch out for. You did the right thing by going to a faculty member. It is not your responsibility to confront him over this behavior and you never know how a person will respond.
One thing just to mention, something that can be a potential warning sign for a larger issue should never be ignored or kept to ones self. Yes it may have been just one incident that may in itself be nothing, but if he had one incident with almost every person in your class and everyone kept things to themselfs and no one said anything because of it only being one incident, it may allow something to go on that could have been preventable.
Not saying he is or isn't someone that could be dangerous to you, someone else(classmate or patient), or himself, but how many incidents are there that happen (even just think of school/college shootings) where everyone turns around and wonders "how could this have been prevented?" and then people look and there were little signs, but no one put the pieces together and got the whole picture before the event that the person had issues, but after the fact, all the pieces come to light had been there if anyone had just taken notice.
You don't have to be trying to get him in trouble for the one incident but you DEFINITLY should be making sure that someone that is above you is aware of what happened....that way if other incidents come to their attention they won't be looking at it as the first thing that happens, and will have pieces to put together to see if there is maybe a bigger issue that needs to be addressed.
Defin. SAYS something, but understand it may be that you have vibes cause you just don't like his personality. I know that some people think I am mad all the time, and not a PEOPLE PERSON when in truth I am older, and answers maybe shorter/more blunt, but more importantly I am going through oral surgery and lips make me LOOK mad..I TRY to watch it, but your personality is your personality! Tell the instructor, let her deal with it, and just keep your distance.
Also Understand SOMETIMES this personality can be just as valuable a nurse as the one that is all business. I have a co=worker who doesn't have a serious bone in her body. She gives both her co=workers and the patients a HAPPY BREAK from life..
Also Understand SOMETIMES this personality can be just as valuable a nurse as the one that is all business. I have a co=worker who doesn't have a serious bone in her body. She gives both her co=workers and the patients a HAPPY BREAK from life..
It's a wonderful thing to have a silly side in medicine - look at Patch Adams , but it is a completely different thing to say something that inappropriate about a peer.
Definitely say something. Maybe try to approach him first though, ask him what his problem is. If other people are noticing it and thinking something is wrong than there IS!! But I would talk with your classmate and see if there's something going on with him or if he doesn't think he is behaving inappropriately. From there, it will be obvious what you gotta do.
OP, it sounds like your classmate is definitely one slice short of a sandwich, but the comment you mentioned gives me the impression that he may be fantasizing about you. Yes, men fantasizing about pretty women is nothing strange, but this guy doesn't seem to have the social skills to be able to deal with it, which may indicate the need for a psychiatric work-up, or at least a psychological assessment.
I feel sorry for him, but I think your college should recommend he seek help. There may be dangerous undercurrents flowing there.
You should definately say something to an instructor. And frankly if he continues to say things about you or to you, I would DIRECTLY respond back in a very assertive way that his comments and behavior are NOT APPRECIATED and NOT ACCEPTABLE. He is trying to intimidate you. Perhaps he is really socially awkward, but that does not excuse this or make it OK. Having worked in psych for 28 years, most of it at a management level, I would expect that any of my staff would come to me with a situation like this. In nursing you have to be able to assertively stand up for yourself. There are many situations that will come along in your careeer, that will require it- so here's your chance to practice. Good luck!
Specializes in Emergency, home health, urgent care.
I think so far this behavior is pretty harmless. It sounds like he likes you and may be just acting weird around you. I think you should speak with this person directly, and privately, before "taking action" and potentially ruining this kid's future in school or nursing. Ask him what his deal is, and tell him to stop doing such and such as it makes you uncomfortable. You should give him that chance to correct his behavior. If things worsen or deteriorate, then I would consider other action.
Just to make everyone aware--because the activities director asked about this person, the OP did speak to her instructor, who said she was glad the OP did that.
It sounds like he likes you and may be just acting weird around you.
That's okay in junior high or even high school, but not in a psychiatric clinical setting where staff and students should be modeling healthy and appropriate behavior for the patients.
Because a regular staff member noticed and was inquiring, the instructor absolutely needed to be brought into the loop. She has the potential to address the behavior before it causes any more problems.
At the very least, the male classmate needs to be told that making crude remarks about a fellow student is just not acceptable. There's a time and a place for a bit of light-hearted flirtation, but the clinical setting isn't it.
I would first talk to him privately and tell him (I don't like the way you talk to me or about me, you have to stop this) and if he continues to make you feel uncomfortable I would immediately tell my instructor. I know people who got kick out of the program because of the same situation.
, but it is a completely different thing to say something that inappropriate about a peer.
Jane Doe 1
32 Posts
Always go with your gut. Some guys are inappropriate and it is annoying, but you know that they are harmless and would never do anything to you. There are other guys that act inappropriately and you get an uncomfortable "creeped out" feeling from them. It's these guys that you have to watch out for. You did the right thing by going to a faculty member. It is not your responsibility to confront him over this behavior and you never know how a person will respond.