cant get along with patient, need advice

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

Without specifics, it's hard to advise you. One thing to keep in mind though is that there are going to be many patients you don't get along with and have to take care of. The pt won't be at your facility forever and you still have to make a living.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

Do you work in a nursing home? If so, I wouldn't let one patient drive you away from your job. The same thing will happen at other facilities. There will always be patients that dislike particular nurses.

Ms.RN · Apr 26, 2006

yes. i work in nursing home. i just hate going to work because of this patient. she hates me!!!! :trout: she doesnt want me as a nurse period. its embarrassing to ask another nurse to take care of her. this is the first time this has happened to me. yes there are times when patients hate me but they didnt refuse me or anything. maybe i wasnt meant to become a nurse. :bluecry1:

Beary-nice · Apr 26, 2006

yes. i work in nursing home. i just hate going to work because of this patient. she hates me!!!! :trout: she doesnt want me as a nurse period. its embarrassing to ask another nurse to take care of her. this is the first time this has happened to me. yes there are times when patients hate me but they didnt refuse me or anything. maybe i wasnt meant to become a nurse.

i am sorry you are so discouraged! it is very difficult to be around someone like that knowing that they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. acute care people come and go, ltc they are around longer.

i had the same situation happen to me many years ago. a female resident i took care of went out of her way to be very hateful to me. she even would say..."i don't want that schoolgirl taking care of me tonight." i was like 16 years old then...a cna. she put me in tears after work on more than one occasion.

later after i thought about it, i was not the only one she was hateful to. she had her favorites and i was not one of them. i think it was maybe her way of having a sense of control over the situation. she had both of her legs amputated and all of her children had disowned her. her assets were gone, her health was nothing to write home about....the list goes on and on. eventually, i felt pity for her. i stuck it out and when she saw i wasn't going anywhere...she gave up. she found someone else to take her problems out on. maybe i reminded her of someone she disliked i don't know but at the time it was awful.

i feel for you...please take care! :icon_hug:

nurse100 · Apr 28, 2006

I wouldn't let the situation embarrass you. There will be times patients do not like you. There will also be times that you are not going to like your patient. We are all different and some personalities get along better than others (then there are those who just don't get along with anyone!). I would first evaluate the situation. Is it possible that you unintentionally said something that could have offended her? If not, then chalk it up to a fault she has and make arrangements with another nurse to take care of her in exchange for one of her patients if that is a possibility. I would discuss the situation with my supervisor. I do agree with Beary...sometimes we need to look at the "big picture" that influences our residents to behave as they do and not take their actions personally.

huganurse1203 · Jul 26, 2006

First thing I would do is knock on her door and ask if she had a minute or two to chat and get it out and find out if it was something you said or did to offend her and go from there you cannot continue to avoid each other.

HuggyPuglet · Jul 26, 2006

i cant go into a detail, but how do you guys handle if you cant get along with a patient? right now i think its best to quit my job.

don't let this one woman take away a career that means something to you. she is a sad individual. another poster wrote on this board that it might be her way of taking control, and it very well may be. don't take anything too personally. there are many many reasons why a patient might not like a particular nurse (or cna or doctor even). don't be embarrassed to give up her care to someone else. this is no reflection on you. not everyone will like us all of the time. do the best you can and when you hit the wall, walk around and move on. good luck to you in your career...

truern · Jul 26, 2006

Kill her with kindness...well, not *literally*

Seriously, though...all thru NS my instructors would give me the "difficult" patients knowing by the end of the day I'd have them purring like pussycats.

I'd just kill them with kindness....most sincerely.

CHATSDALE · Jul 26, 2006

perhaps you could get transfered to another hall/floor

document what is going on if she is rude to you she might be complaining to superiors about a bunch of things and you need to have your side of things on paper

tddowney · Jul 26, 2006

i cant go into a detail, but how do you guys handle if you cant get along with a patient? right now i think its best to quit my job.

since you say "a" patient i assume that means you get along fine with your other patients. that's a pretty good sign that you're doing a good job, and this is just one of those unfortunate but not uncommon cases where a person takes a dislike to you.

another poster made the good suggestion to talk to this patient and see if there is anything you inadvertently and unknowingly did to irritate her. i think the trick to that will be listening to everything the patient has to say without getting defensive.

good luck to you, and remember that just about everywhere you go, and in any field, there will be situations like this that arise. if you like your job, but for this one patient, then i would stick with it.

Bala Shark · Jul 26, 2006

I graduated in May 2006, during one of my clincals, I had one patient that hated me also..I did not do anything wrong..I was just being myself.There was no attitue or safety violation..It was a LTC facility..She even reported me to the instructor..The best thing to do is avoid her like she was some kind of plague..And you will get through it..